How do I tell my wife she is FAT :(
Jenner
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graniteman
MuscleHead
- Dec 31, 2011
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lol..for sure. I love a bigass..not a ass that looks like 150 lbs of chewed bubblegum though. I would just tie her behind the bike and run her around the block a few times...
Says the HardBody who's never been called fat..ever
woof... Wait til the 1st time you get called Mrs or Ma'am at the store!Uhhh..damn , I thought I was the only one....
M
musclevoice
New Member
- Jan 4, 2015
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You don't! That's the worse mistake you can make. First of all she will take it badly. Second any motivation, encouragement she may need to change habits will go out the window. Instead try and involve her in any fun activities. It might not be the gym. My other half is also on the heavy side but I always try and encourage her. It's all about getting your message across without making them feel bad or depressed. Being positive and looking to change things for the better in future is always the goal.
Jenner
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Says the HardBody who's never been called fat..ever
Hey, I didn't say to tell her in the manner he is speaking of.......................I'm just saying if you can't be fuuking honest with your life partner, there's a problem
and that shit will never happen...
Jenner
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sassy69
TID Lady Member
- Aug 16, 2011
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It always seems like people need some sort epiphany to "get it". In my own experience, I can tell you there are no short cuts. If you want to produce a dramatic change in your body composition, you have to honestly give your body a solid 3 weeks of change in lifestyle (activity level, diet - quality & quantity of foods, sufficient rest & minimized stress levels) so it actually has time to respond to the change. In this case it is sort of an either / or.
Start with:
- would you rather feel lean or eat that <whatever>?
- how do you feel after you eat? Tired? Full?
- What would you do if could fit into a smaller <whatever clothes>?
- what are you willing to do about it?
These don't need explicit answers but the idea is to get her to start thinking about "what if" and "how serious are you" and how long are you going to bitch about your weight before you actually want to do something about it?
Next step - review her current lifestyle:
- quality of sleep / number of hours of sleep
- hours of activity or sitting all day (hey keep in mind, I'm a corporate computer jockey for the last 28 years - I am well aware of the incredibly large percentage of my life I've spent forming my ass to the shape of my chair...)
- stress levels (some people just have brutal work schedules or are highly strung or just spend a lot of time worrying about stuff that they don't need to worry about, or are going thru some sort of life drama) - the point is to not make excuses but rather just be aware of how much of your time is spent jacking up cortisol levels and how much is really necessary to get worked up about. If it is insanely high, that's another thing to start looking at. High blood pressure just shortens your life.
- diet - what does a typical day's meal plan look like? Write down what she eats and put it into a food counts program (e.g. fitday.com - free, online, easy to use) and be honest about portions - to get an objective summary of how much (total cals) and of what (macronutrient breakdown - carbs, fats, protein) she's eating.
Once this stuff has been honestly itemized and considered, it is usually pretty obvious where the areas are that can be optimized. And typically just a few minor tweaks can make huge differences without greatly altering a regular day in her life or adding a lot of anxiety about "being limited" or having to do things she doesn't like. The point is to keep it all part of the lifestyle and not some new and annoying adventure.
Simple changes are:
- go for a 20 min walk 3x/week - or just something that has some consistency and involves more than parking on the couch
- Get rid of random cheats - structure your eating schedule so that junk food or drinks or whatever are kept to one meal / week - e.g. going out Friday or Sat night. The purpose is to get rid of the random snacking where people don't pay attention to how much they are eating and are also giving in to that immediate desire, usually for sugar, salt or fat. Giving the body a break from that for even a few days starts to clear out the sugar and really makes you feel a million times better.
- Throw out the processed food - it honestly is not that hard to eat clean. Cook your own food, embrace grilling, embrace spices, keep it simple.
- Don't hesitate to throw in a protein shake (check the cals / carbs in it - Muscle Milk is not a good option for chicks trying to lose weight) - many women are also very short on protein intake so that would supplement for her.
Do the above for 3 weeks and I bet she drops 10 lb in water weight and a couple lb of flab immediately. But be honest about it.
But also, don't jump on the scale every 2 hours and expect to see results. ANother great way many women **** themselves by saying "it's not working, **** it, imma eat a donut or a box or two..." Don't even get near a scale. Go by how you feel, how clothes start to fit - or better, don't even look for results. Just do it and focus on enjoying the changes instead of worrying about having to "give up" things. Suddenly, she will start to feel better, see some results and maybe even belief in the effort a little. It ain't rocket science, but there ain't no short cuts either. Do it, or don't bother, and shut up about your weight because if you don't make changes you can't expect changes.
Start with:
- would you rather feel lean or eat that <whatever>?
- how do you feel after you eat? Tired? Full?
- What would you do if could fit into a smaller <whatever clothes>?
- what are you willing to do about it?
These don't need explicit answers but the idea is to get her to start thinking about "what if" and "how serious are you" and how long are you going to bitch about your weight before you actually want to do something about it?
Next step - review her current lifestyle:
- quality of sleep / number of hours of sleep
- hours of activity or sitting all day (hey keep in mind, I'm a corporate computer jockey for the last 28 years - I am well aware of the incredibly large percentage of my life I've spent forming my ass to the shape of my chair...)
- stress levels (some people just have brutal work schedules or are highly strung or just spend a lot of time worrying about stuff that they don't need to worry about, or are going thru some sort of life drama) - the point is to not make excuses but rather just be aware of how much of your time is spent jacking up cortisol levels and how much is really necessary to get worked up about. If it is insanely high, that's another thing to start looking at. High blood pressure just shortens your life.
- diet - what does a typical day's meal plan look like? Write down what she eats and put it into a food counts program (e.g. fitday.com - free, online, easy to use) and be honest about portions - to get an objective summary of how much (total cals) and of what (macronutrient breakdown - carbs, fats, protein) she's eating.
Once this stuff has been honestly itemized and considered, it is usually pretty obvious where the areas are that can be optimized. And typically just a few minor tweaks can make huge differences without greatly altering a regular day in her life or adding a lot of anxiety about "being limited" or having to do things she doesn't like. The point is to keep it all part of the lifestyle and not some new and annoying adventure.
Simple changes are:
- go for a 20 min walk 3x/week - or just something that has some consistency and involves more than parking on the couch
- Get rid of random cheats - structure your eating schedule so that junk food or drinks or whatever are kept to one meal / week - e.g. going out Friday or Sat night. The purpose is to get rid of the random snacking where people don't pay attention to how much they are eating and are also giving in to that immediate desire, usually for sugar, salt or fat. Giving the body a break from that for even a few days starts to clear out the sugar and really makes you feel a million times better.
- Throw out the processed food - it honestly is not that hard to eat clean. Cook your own food, embrace grilling, embrace spices, keep it simple.
- Don't hesitate to throw in a protein shake (check the cals / carbs in it - Muscle Milk is not a good option for chicks trying to lose weight) - many women are also very short on protein intake so that would supplement for her.
Do the above for 3 weeks and I bet she drops 10 lb in water weight and a couple lb of flab immediately. But be honest about it.
But also, don't jump on the scale every 2 hours and expect to see results. ANother great way many women **** themselves by saying "it's not working, **** it, imma eat a donut or a box or two..." Don't even get near a scale. Go by how you feel, how clothes start to fit - or better, don't even look for results. Just do it and focus on enjoying the changes instead of worrying about having to "give up" things. Suddenly, she will start to feel better, see some results and maybe even belief in the effort a little. It ain't rocket science, but there ain't no short cuts either. Do it, or don't bother, and shut up about your weight because if you don't make changes you can't expect changes.
Last edited:
C
ceo
VIP Member
- Oct 12, 2010
- 1,151
- 913
Very good advice. Make it about the process, not the goal. The process is easier to control and achieve. It's what you do every day.
Did Duke have a goal to win the NCAA Basketball championship game? Maybe. But I seriously doubt that was their focus. I bet their focus was to go to every practice and work hard. Then to play their best in every game and further develop what they practiced. They probably focused on going out and trying to just win "tonight's" game. They focused on the daily process and it brought them great results.
OP, when wifey makes complaints to you about this being the worst shape she's been in or whatever, you could just ask her, "What do you want to do about it?" Just make sure not to come across condescending. Tell her you'll help and support her in any way you can. You've probably already done this. Sounds like you've been doing everything right for the last 3 years...or at least that's your side of the tale.
You can also tell her that you know she's been going to the gym but if the results aren't coming as fast as she thinks they should, maybe she should go see a doctor. If she has a medical issue it would be better to find out sooner than later.
Maybe she's depressed? Maybe you think you've been a super supportive guy, but maybe she thinks you've been a nag? Just throwing that out there.
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