How do I tell my wife she is FAT :(

Discussion in 'Female Misc' started by Dirk Diggler, Apr 17, 2015.

  1. Dirk Diggler

    Dirk Diggler VIP Member

    May 22, 2013
    84
    10
    OK Ladies,

    How on God's green earth do I tell my wife that she is Fat? My wife had always had a great figure without working out She eats like shit and now is 45. The past 4 years, she has let her self go. Normally, when she would get a little on the heavy side, she would make some changes and bam....she would be looking great in no time. For me, I have always thought she has a sexy shape and figure. But as of the past few years.....ICK! I get it, if you tell me you are ashamed of your body, then do something about it....but when I see her eating shit such as cake, cookies, chips and such, it's just a huge ****ing turn off. Normally she never eats like I do ( super clean) but she has always had a nice figure. The last 4 years, especially the last 2, I am so turned off I'm besides myself. I am almost 50, but I look 30. I was a competitive bodybuilder in the late 80's, could have went pro, but I did competitive judo. I was almost on the 96 Olympic team, but I blew out my knee :( anyways, 32 inch waist, 50 inch chest and not bragging, but I get hit on a LOT. I"m always freindly to people and don't flirt, but others do take it that way. I"m not that type of guy, I"M a family guy, loyal to the end. I dont' wanna cheat on my wife and I've had plenty...PLENTY of opportunities @ the gym and work (fireman). Frustrated as hell, I'm dammed if I don't say anything and dammed if I do (asshole if I said "you are overweight or ..... fat"). she has finally been toying with working-out at the gym and goes 3 x a week, however no results & minimal effort. I guess I vent and look for advise here because I am at my wits end. She is a stay at home wife, 2 kids ( 4 and 13) and is an amazing person and wife, except for taking care of herself. My frustrations are with her lack of discipline in her diet and the fact that TV is the second most important thing to her. I could care less about TV, take care of yourself for **** sake! I love her but then have had multiple women practically throwing themselves @ me... but I always turn a blind eye and play it down :( I could easily take up an offer, but then that would leaving me wanting MORE :D I get the trap & made my vow 20 years ago and plan to keep it, just need some advise from a womens perspective. My perspective is that she is not happy with her body, yet eats like crap, TV is more important to her than action to help herself/ self respect, and of course, looking good for me, especially when temptation is around the corner :(

    Confused,
    Hurt,
    Trapped,

    I don't know what to do or how to talk to her, she will be hurt and take it wrong & I'll be the asshole for the rest of my life
     
  2. Rottenrogue

    Rottenrogue Strongwoman Administrator Staff Member

    Jan 26, 2011
    6,541
    1,847
    You don't you simply just don't.
    Maybe start doing family sports or hikes. Maybe use the route that as a family let's eat better for health. But don't tell her she is fat or unattractive to you.
    Those are comments that go in the female Rolodex and get brought back up repeatedly. And hurtful as well.
     
    Halo, Casca, chestrockwell420 and 9 others like this.
  3. FlyingDragon

    FlyingDragon VIP Member

    Nov 4, 2010
    2,751
    1,159
    Call her Dr. and talk to the Dr. about the weight issue, then have the office call her in for an appointment. You go with her and have the Dr. lead the weight issue and then u chime in wanting to help her get back in shape. You look like a hero without hurting her feelings.....
     
  4. Dirk Diggler

    Dirk Diggler VIP Member

    May 22, 2013
    84
    10
    Thank You guys for the responses. You are right, however, I am so tempted to step out & be ..Bad... cuz I have, no shit, every week some amazing looking gal who turns me the F on, it's driving me nuts! Either RN's or chicks in the gym and a few doc's :D but honestly, Frustrating cuz i'm not fluting, just being myself, friends of mine are like...dude....your gonna pass that up??? Come home to a wife who's eating cake, watching TV....Frustrating...

    BTW, when we were first married, she asked if a particular pair of jeans made her butt look fat..I was JOKING and said..it's not the jeans.....Never lived that one down 20 years later :(

    But you guys are right and much respect to ya for your true and honest words :)

    Thank you
     
  5. JackD

    JackD Senior Moderators Staff Member

    Sep 16, 2010
    4,702
    409
    It won't go over very well, but I'd just tell her the truth. But, if she's fat, she probably knows she's fat, so unless you want your balls cut off while sleeping, it might be best to just STFU....

    Here, instead of long walks on the beach, take her for long runs on the beach.
     
  6. SFGiants

    SFGiants MuscleHead

    Apr 20, 2011
    1,091
    128
    So true, I have seen all go bad saying something like that to a spouse.
     
  7. Dirk Diggler

    Dirk Diggler VIP Member

    May 22, 2013
    84
    10
    Well, as far as runs on the beach..no can do. Knee was completely destroyed in 96 olympic final tryouts for judo. Twisted wrong and that's all she wrote. Ended my martial art career :( She's just eating like shit & what pisses me off is that she knows it. She makes comments such as "I'm not happy with myself" and still eats garbage :( For me, if she was eating and training but still looked as she does, I would be much better with it ( english) but it's like she has no self respect?
     
  8. Soulful.Filling

    Soulful.Filling VIP Member

    Dec 9, 2013
    42
    7
    You actually have to ask on a forum how to tell your wife she's fat? What the ****? And you talk about stepping out on her? Wow. Dude....do her a favor and break up with her. You most likely don't deserve her.
     
    Ripitup likes this.
  9. Rampage

    Rampage VIP Member

    Oct 26, 2011
    1,759
    150
    Start lacing her drinks with fat burners
     
    Yaya likes this.
  10. AngieHearts22

    AngieHearts22 TID Lady Member

    Apr 18, 2015
    1
    3
    I would suggest start recommending healthy meals and more activities that get some excerise in. Little by little. But never tell her directly, it's incredibly hurtful hearing it from a spouse. And don't be so quick to forget women age differently than men do, she maybe having harder time losing weight or just going through changes. Women's hormones fluctuate and are never the same after kids. She just may need your support and to help boost her attitude. I know I need a little reassurance here and there. Just be patient with her...I mean you married her for her and not her body...
     
  11. DairyAve

    DairyAve TID Lady Member

    Apr 18, 2015
    1
    1
    If you are thinking of stepping out then so is she. There are plenty of men who appreciate women for more than there looks and would be happy to give her the attention she is yearning. If you made her feel good more often she would turn to food less.
     
    Maquinita likes this.
  12. Stayc

    Stayc TID Lady Member

    Feb 17, 2015
    12
    8
    Sounds like there's more issues in the relationship than weight. I think the vows are better or worse? Weight isn't really terrible and it's certainly fixable. Maybe she is depressed? Maybe she doesn't feel you find her attractive as a person and giving up? There's so many ways around fixing things and communication is 99% of it. I'm not thinking that going out with women with better bodies is the answer. That's a 20 min fix. Not to mention you've only added more troubles to your plate. Maybe you should try another approach. Talk her up. Maybe tell her that you would like for the two of you to work out together once in a while and you can push her.. Working out becomes addicting aswe start to feel great about ourselves. Be sensitive and ask her if there's something bothering her. Tell her that you are concerned about her health not her weight. You could also go for walks together and make it something nice. I am not an expert but. One thing I will tell you is that women's bodies start to change when they turn 40 and if a woman is not use to eating the right way or exercising she will notice lbs adding up quickly. Also hormones change. She may feel like she cannot get out of it because it can be difficult and a fight for some. Maybe she is giving up or depressed. Life is constantly changing. So are ppl. Best of luck! :)
     
    tommyguns2 likes this.

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