Wife hates my diet!

[prime]

Oddly enough she does great while she is at work, she doesn't feel the need to eat cheat foods. I don't want to give the wrong impression, she does great 5/6 days out of the week. Its just that she has a bad day once in a while and eats like crap, then I feel guilty for eating junk food in front of her. Last night I BBQ'd some brats and burgers and she caved. I guess the her will to lose weight isn't greater than her desire to eat food at this time. Again, my wife is beautiful as is so I am not promoting a diet on any level. She is doing this so that she feels better about herself. I am in very good shape for my age and I think it bothers her that she hasn't made that level of commitment yet. She is entirely too hard on herself.

One day cheat is actually preferred every 7 or so days. Keeps you sane and replenishes low reserves. Best of luck for her goals. Sounds like she is doing fine.

 

[shortz]

well, while I feel for your situation...I'm old school and a bit of a hard ass so don't take this the wrong way because I have seen this with some good friends of mine. They are always dieting (stupid as they do crazy shit like 500 cal liquid diets etc) they lose weight and then go right back to the eating out all the time, the drinks etc...

One night we were talking about it and the husband was totally holding the wife accountable for his dieting, saying they are in this together blah, blah, blah....I looked at him and said "you are a grown man, it is your responsibility to be accountable for only yourself as well as it's for your wife" He didn't really like that but guess what, it's not his wife's job to make sure he sticks to the diet or eat clean, just as it's not your job and you shouldn't have to "hide" your eating or feel bad. It's on her to pull herself together!

My .02

Agreed.

With MOST people, it's easier when two people diet together, however, as weight lifters, we are in a unique situation where one might be dieting while the other is gaining. My wife never once bitched. In fact, she ENJOYS when I start bulking because I sometimes make foods that are a lot tastier. However, she starts asking me to serve her plate because she is unsure of how much of the tastier stuff she can have due to the increase in calorie density. It works out well. If she decides to get more, that's on HER and she knows it. The only time I give her a warning is if I know something might jack with her blood sugar more than she might be aware. She then makes an informed decision and goes with it.

IMO, I feel she should deal with it. Your goals are different and she needs to make the decision to stay committed and do what she feels she needs to do. She is basically deflecting responsibility on to you, when it's HER responsibility.

 

[shortz]

One day cheat is actually preferred every 7 or so days. Keeps you sane and replenishes low reserves. Best of luck for her goals. Sounds like she is doing fine.

Cheats aren't always necessary though. For some diets, cheats can be a hindering affair. It depends on how much of a deficit you're in. Some people will be in a 200 calorie deficit all week, then cheat so much in that one meal, they are now in a surplus for the week. If you aren't counting your calories, chances are, you shouldn't be cheating at all.

On my most successful diet, I only cheated once a month. It's all that was needed to keep my metabolism in line.

 

[prime]

Cheats aren't always necessary though. For some diets, cheats can be a hindering affair. It depends on how much of a deficit you're in. Some people will be in a 200 calorie deficit all week, then cheat so much in that one meal, they are now in a surplus for the week. If you aren't counting your calories, chances are, you shouldn't be cheating at all.

On my most successful diet, I only cheated once a month. It's all that was needed to keep my metabolism in line.

Yeah. I don't recommend tripling your calories on cheat days. . Yeah it is an average so the magnitude of the cheat can definitely throw things off for x days. Thanks for the clarification.

 

[Jenner]

Thanks for all the feedback. I should have been clear, she just wants to eat the same food, not the same amount. And Yes, she always feels like she could lose a couple lbs. I have given up rationalizing this with her. She is a runner and I am a bodybuilder. I think the fact that she seems to have a really hard time taking off weight has her down as well. Then when I lose 5lbs in a week because I am not eating enough food she gets very frustrated and jealous. Anyway, she has an appointment with our HRT doc Thursday, I am friends with him and he has recommended to put her on 30mg Test every two weeks with some Lipo-b injections. Her last test levels showed low normal, will extra test help? Will she get some bloat from the test?

Yes, it should help but it's not magic..she will still have to eat right etc.....

 

[BR1217]

I agree that cheats can be ok in the right situation. I did a variation of the body for life diet that allows you one cheat day per week, moderation of course. It worked really well as I could always focus on that day and not cheat throughout the week. My wifes problem is that she goes overboard. She thinks that because she had one bad meal her whole day is ruined and she may as well eat bad all day, effectively undoing the previous weeks hard work. She is very smart and driven when she focuses. At this point I think that the idea of losing 10lbs sounds great but the determination is not there yet. She will figure it out.

 

[monsoon]

Does your wife lift weights? You mentioned that she is a runner. If she's not already, 2 or 3 days a week doing some weight training will make a huge difference.

 

[BR1217]

Does your wife lift weights? You mentioned that she is a runner. If she's not already, 2 or 3 days a week doing some weight training will make a huge difference.

She has weight trained in the past with great results. I am trying to get her back in the gym with me right now. For some reason she has forgotten that resistance training burns a lot of calories. We trained together for a couple years and she felt great about herself. She knows that I do minimal cardio and maintain a low BF% by weight training. I am going to press the issue a little more.

 

[ItalianMuscle]

Ive never had a problem with a cheat meal hindering my current diet, ever. And I do one cheat meal a week. Your body needs that kinda stuff. Not to mention, if you've been strict all week for many weeks, your body burns that meal right up. I dont care how many calories it was. I actually fill out and get real veiny when I eat all those extra calories/carbs/sugars. And I dont count calories ever, I just keep track of carbs/proteins/fats.. but if I were to guess, I am probably around 2200..

 

[ceo]

I am hoping someone here can give me some helpful advice. I am 39, 5'10", 230lbs at 12%. My daily caloric maintenance is 4200 cals. I am eating 4500/5000 now as I am on a Test/Growth cycle. Here is the problem. My wife is on a diet that I believe is unnecessary as she is beautiful as is! She is 35, 5'8", 145lbs, 25%. She believes she needs to be 125/130lbs, this will help her feel better about herself she says. So right now she is consuming a very clean 1500 calories. She is committed but struggles with willpower. She is getting pissed at me for eating the food I have to eat right now to grow, to the point that we have gotten in little fights over it. Lately she has been cheating on her diet because she wants to eat what I am eating. When I try to tell her not to eat what I am eating this turns into a fight, she thinks I am telling her she is fat. I realize that she needs to suck it up and stay disciplined. I also want to help her as much as possible by not eating in front of her. Two things, should I try to hide how much food I am eating? Should my wife go on an appetite suppressant like Adipex? Our HRT doc has told her he will write her a script for Adipex but I haven't read a lot of good things about it. Seems to do great while you are on it but the weight comes back as soon as people quit taking it. Any advice will be appreciated. Thanks.

If you believe she is "beautiful as is" then you should probably keep your fvckin mouth shut when she starts eating your food so you don't start a fight. That's my best advice...STFU. GICH.

 

[ceo]

Oddly enough she does great while she is at work, she doesn't feel the need to eat cheat foods. I don't want to give the wrong impression, she does great 5/6 days out of the week. Its just that she has a bad day once in a while and eats like crap, then I feel guilty for eating junk food in front of her. Last night I BBQ'd some brats and burgers and she caved. I guess the her will to lose weight isn't greater than her desire to eat food at this time. Again, my wife is beautiful as is so I am not promoting a diet on any level. She is doing this so that she feels better about herself. I am in very good shape for my age and I think it bothers her that she hasn't made that level of commitment yet. She is entirely too hard on herself.

I fail to see the problem...with her anyway.

 

[ceo]

I am going to press the issue a little more.

Remember, all your "beautiful as is" wife will hear is you telling her she is fat.