Wife hates my diet!

[BR1217]

I am hoping someone here can give me some helpful advice. I am 39, 5'10", 230lbs at 12%. My daily caloric maintenance is 4200 cals. I am eating 4500/5000 now as I am on a Test/Growth cycle. Here is the problem. My wife is on a diet that I believe is unnecessary as she is beautiful as is! She is 35, 5'8", 145lbs, 25%. She believes she needs to be 125/130lbs, this will help her feel better about herself she says. So right now she is consuming a very clean 1500 calories. She is committed but struggles with willpower. She is getting pissed at me for eating the food I have to eat right now to grow, to the point that we have gotten in little fights over it. Lately she has been cheating on her diet because she wants to eat what I am eating. When I try to tell her not to eat what I am eating this turns into a fight, she thinks I am telling her she is fat. I realize that she needs to suck it up and stay disciplined. I also want to help her as much as possible by not eating in front of her. Two things, should I try to hide how much food I am eating? Should my wife go on an appetite suppressant like Adipex? Our HRT doc has told her he will write her a script for Adipex but I haven't read a lot of good things about it. Seems to do great while you are on it but the weight comes back as soon as people quit taking it. Any advice will be appreciated. Thanks.

 

[DLTH]

I got the same problem. 5'8"/145lbs she doesn't need any weight loss drugs, maybe an OTC fat burner. She sounds like one of those girls that will always say they need to lose 10 more pounds, it just goes on and on forever.

 

[Jenner]

well, while I feel for your situation...I'm old school and a bit of a hard ass so don't take this the wrong way because I have seen this with some good friends of mine. They are always dieting (stupid as they do crazy shit like 500 cal liquid diets etc) they lose weight and then go right back to the eating out all the time, the drinks etc...

One night we were talking about it and the husband was totally holding the wife accountable for his dieting, saying they are in this together blah, blah, blah....I looked at him and said "you are a grown man, it is your responsibility to be accountable for only yourself as well as it's for your wife" He didn't really like that but guess what, it's not his wife's job to make sure he sticks to the diet or eat clean, just as it's not your job and you shouldn't have to "hide" your eating or feel bad. It's on her to pull herself together!

My .02

 

[Docd187123]

well, while I feel for your situation...I'm old school and a bit of a hard ass so don't take this the wrong way because I have seen this with some good friends of mine. They are always dieting (stupid as they do crazy shit like 500 cal liquid diets etc) they lose weight and then go right back to the eating out all the time, the drinks etc...

One night we were talking about it and the husband was totally holding the wife accountable for his dieting, saying they are in this together blah, blah, blah....I looked at him and said "you are a grown man, it is your responsibility to be accountable for only yourself as well as it's for your wife" He didn't really like that but guess what, it's not his wife's job to make sure he sticks to the diet or eat clean, just as it's not your job and you shouldn't have to "hide" your eating or feel bad. It's on her to pull herself together!

My .02

I agree. She's a lot smaller than you I assume so how does she want to eat like you yet still lose weight? Maybe she can have the same items but the portion sizes would have be be much smaller for her. Anyway, it's up to her to decide how bad she wants it. If she's cheating on her diet all the time just bc you're eating some junk food or whatever....she doesn't really want it that bad does she? You can certainly try to help her but ultimately it's her responsibility to do what needs to be done.

 

[Bullmuscle7]

That's a hard question.
Low carb strict clean eating diets are always hard. Been on them many times and have succeeded. But have to watch wife and family eat tons of stuff I would love. Right in front of my face.
The answer lies in personal goals and taking responsibility for what you want. And being fair.
I wanted a low body fat percentage to see if I could get contest ready. I did it! But those around me had different goals. Mainly to lead normal lives, not interested in bodybuilding but wow!--they liked what I was doing and were complimentary.
So, I just had to realize this suffering or whatever is to achieve my goal and not get mad at my spouse for enjoying a giant bowl of ice cream in front of me.
Since your wife is sensitive to this have an honest talk with her and say hey: our goals are different and so then will our meal plans be different.
Then be a nice guy and do the best you can to not eat the great stuff you can eat in front of her.

As for the appetite suppressant, I don't like them. Why not a fat burner?
Sounds like you have a good HRT doc. Why now both book a joint appt. and have a discussion on diet...and other things that may help. Talk about your goals and her goals.

 

[BrotherIron]

This is very common. Tell her to run stadiums 3x a week and not worry about the diet, lol.

 

[Docd187123]

This is very common. Tell her to run stadiums 3x a week and not worry about the diet, lol.

Also this ^^^. Or get her a prowler or push/pull sled. I got one about 2 months ago and it's amazing for fat loss...but then again, so is the tren I'm on

 

[FLEXjs]

Why can't she eat what you eat but just less of it?

Seems like common sense to me...

 

[BR1217]

Thanks for all the feedback. I should have been clear, she just wants to eat the same food, not the same amount. And Yes, she always feels like she could lose a couple lbs. I have given up rationalizing this with her. She is a runner and I am a bodybuilder. I think the fact that she seems to have a really hard time taking off weight has her down as well. Then when I lose 5lbs in a week because I am not eating enough food she gets very frustrated and jealous. Anyway, she has an appointment with our HRT doc Thursday, I am friends with him and he has recommended to put her on 30mg Test every two weeks with some Lipo-b injections. Her last test levels showed low normal, will extra test help? Will she get some bloat from the test?

 

[Turbolag]

I think you need to introduce your wife to the If It Fits Your Macros Diet.

 

[prime]

It's reverse for me. I'm watching my carbs but family eat all that stuff in front on me. It's a lifestyle change so if she is cheating when you are at home eating in front of her the battle is lost. It's way harder when you throw in going out to lunch with friends and stuff. I suggest an app like myfitnesspal or fatsecret to track the nutrients. Really helps me stay on track.

 

[BR1217]

It's reverse for me. I'm watching my carbs but family eat all that stuff in front on me. It's a lifestyle change so if she is cheating when you are at home eating in front of her the battle is lost. It's way harder when you throw in going out to lunch with friends and stuff. I suggest an app like myfitnesspal or fatsecret to track the nutrients. Really helps me stay on track.

Oddly enough she does great while she is at work, she doesn't feel the need to eat cheat foods. I don't want to give the wrong impression, she does great 5/6 days out of the week. Its just that she has a bad day once in a while and eats like crap, then I feel guilty for eating junk food in front of her. Last night I BBQ'd some brats and burgers and she caved. I guess the her will to lose weight isn't greater than her desire to eat food at this time. Again, my wife is beautiful as is so I am not promoting a diet on any level. She is doing this so that she feels better about herself. I am in very good shape for my age and I think it bothers her that she hasn't made that level of commitment yet. She is entirely too hard on herself.