Ms. AJDOS

[small-guy]

welcome and sorry for your loss...

 

[LysaD]

thank you for that! Some very profound changes have occured within my spirit over the past year. It took a very badly broken heart, so far a year of therapy, and a complete overhaul of my mind, body, and spirit. I find myself in this place today and sometimes i get teary eyed because i think who is this person!! I dont know who she is or where she came from but she is beautiful... that "she" is ME! People look at what i do at 24% lung function and they are like how does that even work? how do you have the body you have when you eat cotton candy like its gonna run away if you dont slam the whole bag, mcdonalds, and all my other decadent disgusting fattening habits like potato chips and cheese curls before bed everynight! I always say the same thing though. I spent 30 of my 48 years eating clean, training my ass off, not drinking or partying and although my body isnt all cock deisel and on stage anymore i can still rock a bikini and make it my bitch. Its just the way things go. its annoying when people think, oh, you dont lift anymore your body is gonna go to shit. thats crap! yea my skinny ass giggles and people dont ask me randomly how much i bench anymore but my physique didnt just pack up and move out the day i stopped lifting weights haha. Its equally annoying when a fat person starts doing the right thing and eating right and training and gets pissed because they dont look cute at the beach 6 months later. REALLY??!! you didnt GET in that condition in 6 months so why would you think you could turn it around overnight? DUH! I am confident that I will be a Beast after transplant and Im excited about it! Ive been slacking off and trying to pack on fat so i will be able to withstand the surgery, I also enjoy healthy options as well its just Ive been on a 5 year post- contest weekend diet and ive never had the lack of discipline to do it before so yea, its GREAT! I also am very aware that I have to keep it in check and do whatever i can to be in the best possible shape ever so my transplant will be successful. Im an all or nothing kinda person so living in this weird balance between indulgence and healthy is difficult. When you get a transplant they actually slow your heart to a point where it practically stops. I know i will see AJ standing there when that time comes and he breathe every bit of breath and strength he has into my little body and I WILL not only survive but i will THRIVE!

 

[IronCore]

how do you have the body you have when you eat cotton candy like its gonna run away if you dont slam the whole bag, mcdonalds, and all my other decadent disgusting fattening habits like potato chips and cheese curls before bed everynight! I always say the same thing though. I spent 30 of my 48 years eating clean, training my ass off, not drinking or partying and although my body isnt all cock deisel and on stage anymore i can still rock a bikini and make it my bitch. Its just the way things go. its annoying when people think, oh, you dont lift anymore your body is gonna go to shit. thats crap! yea my skinny ass giggles and people dont ask me randomly how much i bench anymore but my physique didnt just pack up and move out the day i stopped lifting weights haha. Its equally annoying when a fat person starts doing the right thing and eating right and training and gets pissed because they dont look cute at the beach 6 months later. REALLY??!! you didnt GET in that condition in 6 months so why would you think you could turn it around overnight? DUH!

LOL... Def Aj's woman... Welcome Lysa... you should know by now you are not the only one mourning his departure... AJ was a man among men, always stood for his beliefs and never backed down... I wish more of us were like him. I would like to encourage you to keep your head up and never show fear in the face of danger.... you have a very rough road ahead of you, but, you are going to do just fine. You are strong, smart and beautiful... Cancer is weak and ugly... It can be defeated... you will be victorious... I am not sure if you are a praying woman or what your relationship with God is, but he is Still in the miracle business... never forget that.. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Welcome to the Den!

 

[LysaD]

Thank you. I just wanted to clear up one more thing while Im here. I am aware of MUCH grief, alienation, accusations, and other negative stuff directed towards AJ after he got pinched and throughout that entire process. That all happened while we were dating and it was heartbreaking and discouraging to watch. He kept his relationships with you all on the boards very private but the effects of all the gossip and speculation hurt him deeply. To have such a close online relationship with so many on these boards only to get in trouble and have so many scared liittle cock roaches scatter, hide, and the proceed to throw rocks is inexcusable. WE ALL know that is wrong and it is nothing more than self preservation and wanting to save your own ass. I get that. It does NOT excuse you from your actions though, nor is it a valid excuse to treat someone who in the good times has always been here giving freely, suggestions and advice For EVERYONE, end up in trouble, and then treated like an outsider in his own world. I joined his board and sometimes can read posts there but i am unable to reply because the owner is AJ. I like this board, have gotten tremendous support from you all here, even phone calls since Ive been in the hospital. THANK YOU and thank you for welcoming me to your world. There is no rhyme or reason as to why i choose to post here and not the others other than the fact that its physically impossible for me to post reply's on AJs board. Im so thankful for all of you who stood by AJ during his ordeals with the law. YOU are the reason I am here today, sharing, caring, and trying my best to keep his memory alive.

My update: We got a lot of snow here yesterday so I am still at the local hospital and now back to waiting for a bed to come open at Hopkins before they can transfer me down there. Hoping I can find someone to bring my dog in to visit today! I havent seen him since Sunday and I miss him terribly! Hope everyone has a fantastic day and I will talk to you soon.
Lysa

 

[IronCore]

Thank you. I just wanted to clear up one more thing while Im here. I am aware of MUCH grief, alienation, accusations, and other negative stuff directed towards AJ after he got pinched and throughout that entire process. That all happened while we were dating and it was heartbreaking and discouraging to watch. He kept his relationships with you all on the boards very private but the effects of all the gossip and speculation hurt him deeply. To have such a close online relationship with so many on these boards only to get in trouble and have so many scared liittle cock roaches scatter, hide, and the proceed to throw rocks is inexcusable. WE ALL know that is wrong and it is nothing more than self preservation and wanting to save your own ass. I get that. It does NOT excuse you from your actions though, nor is it a valid excuse to treat someone who in the good times has always been here giving freely, suggestions and advice For EVERYONE, end up in trouble, and then treated like an outsider in his own world. I joined his board and sometimes can read posts there but i am unable to reply because the owner is AJ. I like this board, have gotten tremendous support from you all here, even phone calls since Ive been in the hospital. THANK YOU and thank you for welcoming me to your world. There is no rhyme or reason as to why i choose to post here and not the others other than the fact that its physically impossible for me to post reply's on AJs board. Im so thankful for all of you who stood by AJ during his ordeals with the law. YOU are the reason I am here today, sharing, caring, and trying my best to keep his memory alive. My update: We got a lot of snow here yesterday so I am still at the local hospital and now back to waiting for a bed to come open at Hopkins before they can transfer me down there. Hoping I can find someone to bring my dog in to visit today! I havent seen him since Sunday and I miss him terribly! Hope everyone has a fantastic day and I will talk to you soon.Lysa

Lysa... dont worry yourself with the stress of petty drama... not now anyway... your health is your main focus right now.. and ours too... those of us who stood by AJ then still do... and we stand by you... again, dont get into the drama right now... focus your energy on the positive! STAY STRONG!!! --IC

 

[LysaD]

Im struggling...feeling down today. kinda want to cry.

 

[kid666]

Im struggling...feeling down today. kinda want to cry.

I wish i had words to help you to make it somehow a bit easier for you Lysa.... just know that alot of people are pulling for you and praying for you...
Go ahead and cry. Som etimes that can be a big help just letting it out... Smash shit..throw shit.. whatever makes you feel better..Your being put through alot right now and WILL come out stron ger than youve ever been.
God bless.

 

[LysaD]

thank you... its the steroids that are killing me right now. salumedrol... catabolic steroids not anabolic. They make you feel like your bionic at first but eventually they turn on you and your body looks like a bloated, saggy gross mess and your emotions are all over the place. Oh, and you still cant get enough to eat or drink. I just want to breathe. And eat a 5 guys burger lol.

 

[any1uno]

You're not going this as alone as you may feel. You have the whole community by your side. Positive thoughts sent your direction. SMILE..this will all workout for the best. Stay strong Ms LysaD.

 

[Fork-Lift]

Keep your head up girl! God Bless you. Hope you get to leave the Hospital soon and come home!

 

[LysaD]

i need strength. this fight is wearing me down. i miss AJ. anyone up and want to chat?

 

[any1uno]

Sorry I missed this. I hope you're doing well. Stay positive...Stay strong..OR ELSE! Looking forward to your update.