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Only For The Unashamed!!!!

BackAtIt

BackAtIt

MuscleHead
Oct 3, 2016
274
50
#1
My late father always said to me "son, don't be or do anything u are ashamed of, and u won't have any regrets in life".....So, I prefaced this convo. with that statement because this subject matter is of , well, a "touchy" nature...

Only respond if u are gay, please!!!!...My question is of course to the gay community, specifically females....My teenage daughter is asscoitating with gay friends and adores them tremendously...She hasn't came out and said she is gay, however, I suspect, like the old saying goes "birds of the same feather, flock together"....

I would assume if u respond to this thread that u are like my father said...U are not ashamed of being gay...So then, what I would like to know from the gay community, specifically females, and only gays, not straight people, what is my best approach at having a "normal" relationship with her...Also, I wanted to know if it is a common attitude for gay children to defy, disrespect, etc their parents?....


Yours truly,
Backatit.....
 
Tuffoldman

Tuffoldman

VIP Member
May 23, 2011
560
198
#3
You are telling us who can and can't post. I'm not gay but a fucked a guy in jail once so maybe I'm qualified.

How do you have a relationship with a gay child?? Just like you do a straight child???

ALL kids defy and are rude to thier parents at some point gay or straight.

Imo you are making this out to be all about you. Love your child for who they are. Support them no matter if you agree with her choices. Gay straight bi poly trans whatever they are just like every other child... Confused and as a good parent love them like they are the world to you because that's what a good parent does.
 
BackAtIt

BackAtIt

MuscleHead
Oct 3, 2016
274
50
#4
You are telling us who can and can't post. I'm not gay but a fucked a guy in jail once so maybe I'm qualified.

How do you have a relationship with a gay child?? Just like you do a straight child???

ALL kids defy and are rude to thier parents at some point gay or straight.

Imo you are making this out to be all about you. Love your child for who they are. Support them no matter if you agree with her choices. Gay straight bi poly trans whatever they are just like every other child... Confused and as a good parent love them like they are the world to you because that's what a good parent does.


Well, I have two other daughters, whom didn't defy and are not gay...They are happly married and one has my first grandchild....So, I thought it was a fair question....Sorry to hear about your experience in jail, I've been there 3 or 4 times, and never had the urge to have sex with another man....I guess u do qualify in a sense...Still, I only wanted females to comment, simply because that's what my child is...Again, sorry for your experience in jail....
 
Jin

Jin

VIP Member
Jun 15, 2018
340
196
#5
Well, I have two other daughters, whom didn't defy and are not gay...They are happly married and one has my first grandchild....So, I thought it was a fair question....Sorry to hear about your experience in jail, I've been there 3 or 4 times, and never had the urge to have sex with another man....I guess u do qualify in a sense...Still, I only wanted females to comment, simply because that's what my child is...Again, sorry for your experience in jail....
Why do you keep pitying TuffOldHooker?

He got two cases of ramen for blasting that dude and had a pretty good time doing it.

Guaranteed sexiest guy that was ever locked up in that jail.
 
Littleguy

Littleguy

TID Board Of Directors
Sep 30, 2011
3,235
1,236
#6
Perhaps a Gay female forum would get you more of what you are after.
I am not a female nor am I gay, however I did eat a hell of a bunch of Wheaties in the late 60's and 70's and if your kid is treating you like shit, then you are allowing it.
Cheers
 
woodswise

woodswise

TID Board Of Directors
Apr 29, 2012
4,125
1,062
#7
Bud, though I am not a female, I am gay. My sister, who is straight, told me many years later, that she and a girlfriend messed around. I also suspect my mother likes women as much as men, though she has never said so.

My thoughts on this, are, let your daughter define who she is, and when she is ready, she will tell you. I would not change the rules for her, just be sure they are fair and reasonable and don't suffocate her (sounds like you're pretty good on that front).

One thing I have discovered is kids these days don't like labels and often reject them. Many of them are attracted to both sexes and focus instead on the individual qualities of the person they want to spend their time with, rather than whether the person is a woman or man or has a gender identity that matches their sex.

So you can probably ask your daughter whether she is gay or lesbian (I don't know if that is still a good label),and she may answer, but be prepared for an answer that will leave you scratching your head and raises more questions than it answers.

I think the important questions are: are you happy? Are you safe? Are these good people you are spending time with?

And the most important message you can send her is you love her and want her to be happy no matter who she falls in love with and even if she does not.

As for defiance, that is hard to say. I was very defiant of my father, but not so much my mother. But my dad wanted to control me in ways that I thought he had no right to. My mother was much more accepting and allowed me to explore and to take risks and she only reined me in when she thought I might hurt myself (i.e. real physical harm, not anything else). So she focused on heavy drinking, drugs, violence and dangerous activities (as did my dad),while my dad went quite a lot further and tried to get me to behave like his robot, causing me to feel great resentment and rage toward him as he escalated things to attempt to control me.

It does not sound like you are a controlling father. However, it is likely she misunderstands why and resents it when you set down rules for her or challenge her on things. I think many children and parents run into this, and reminding her you love her and want her to be safe, will help, even if she does not admit it.

An interesting technique my parents used, that was very effective, was to give me permission to go to underage drinking parties but asked me to please be moderate, or to call for a ride if I got too drunk. I appreciated them giving me permission, and because I respected that they asked me to comply, I did without fail (well maybe I failed a few times, but not that often).

Good luck and I hope this helps at least a little bit.
 
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BackAtIt

BackAtIt

MuscleHead
Oct 3, 2016
274
50
#9
Thank you Woodwise for your post...It has been a great help...I guess anyone who is gay would qualify to answer my question....I felt as tho with her gender being female, logically another female (gay) would be able to relate better...However, u proved to me in your post that I was wrong...It has been extremely insightful....And yes, your are right, I am not a controlling father, just very concerned for her well being and not to mention my deep love for her...

She knows I'm not homophobic at all, we already discussed the matter...I can tell tho, her mentality, demeanor, etc is drastically different from the other two that I took part in raising...Again friend, thank you for the mature post, it really has been a great help...I've always noticed that most gay people I have encountered were extremely intelligent people and possessed fine qualities as human beings....Of course being straight, I've never understood the attraction to the same sex...I have never feared it tho, just didn't understand it...

Anyway, shoot me a pm if u have any more insight or we can discuss it publically, doesn't matter to me...Peace!!!
 
BackAtIt

BackAtIt

MuscleHead
Oct 3, 2016
274
50
#10
Perhaps a Gay female forum would get you more of what you are after.
I am not a female nor am I gay, however I did eat a hell of a bunch of Wheaties in the late 60's and 70's and if your kid is treating you like shit, then you are allowing it.
Cheers
Well, bro, from your picks, those wheaties look like they payed off!!!!….I have been wrestling with the thought of me allowing it...I just know with her being potentially gay, that I need to approach her in a different manner...I can only imagine how she must have to deal with people who are homophobic and at the same time have to function as an productive citizen in society...She is such a beautiful person inside and out (extremely eye catching if u will)...My other two daughters weren't as bold or as sharp as she is, so, I just want to make sure that I don't alienate myself from her inadvertently...I do appreciate your input friend!...Again, it looks like I was wrong in only wanting to obtain viewpoints from gays only!...Peace
 
1bigun11

1bigun11

VIP Member
Oct 23, 2010
1,762
1,081
#12
My guess is that your daughter does not respect you because she has figured out that you are the special type of idiot who would seek lesbian only, child rearing advice on how to raise her, from a bunch of jacked up steroid users on a predominantly straight male bodybuilding forum.
 
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