DaSarge
VIP Member
- Nov 20, 2014
- 715
- 365
I acted like a shithead today but it's kind of funny so I'll post it here:
I was doing my usual superset today on 3 different machines, and had my towel and keys on the machines to claim them. This fat dude walks up and asks how my sets I had left and I told him I just started. He says, “You know, it's not entirely reasonable to take up 3 machines at once in a crowded gym.”
I said, “Check this out Butterball, people superset here all the time.”
He says, “Yeah, maybe more advanced lifters who know what they're doing will use two machines at a time.”
I said, “You think you're an advanced lifter? You're just a Hippoglottamus.”
I mean, this guy was wearing like a size XXXXXXXL hoodie with enormous sweats that looked like they were about the size of a 6 person tent. Anybody with a brain could see he was a fat ass.
So anyway, right after I said this he walks over and picks up my towel. I figured the Blubber Butt was probably hungry and needed a snack since he hadn't eaten in about 4 minutes, but instead he takes it over an sets it on the trash can. I calmly walked behind him and whispered in his ear how I was going to beat him senseless in the parking lot as soon as he left. The fear of God entered his face, but I guess in order for him to save face in front of the entire gym, he waddles over and grabs my keys and then proceeds to put them on top of the same trash can. (I'm still calmly following behind him and whispering in his ear how I'm going to demolish him as soon as he leaves.) But, instead of leaving, Mr. Flabby goes over to the hammer strength lat pull machine, puts it on the lowest weight possible, and starts trying to figure out how to use it. People in the gym are starting to point and giggle at this point, so I figured I'd have a little more fun with this roly-poly and casually walk over behind the machine and stand up on the back of it because I know he can't handle an ounce of extra weight. He starts grunting and struggling to do a rep but can't move the machine a freaking inch. I start laughing at him so hard I fall off the machine and then to proceed to scare him a little more by grabbing my phone and pretending to call the cops on him for moving my personal property.
Anyway, at this point, Mr. Fat Boy gets all scared and whispers “bye faggot” and starts rolling towards the door. I started to follow him out but the manager walked up just in time to save his ass. Everybody in the gym then starts chanting in unison, “You're a fat f*ck, you're a fat f*ck, you're a fat f*ck, you're a fat f*ck....
I thought Porky was gonna have a coronary as his face turned a bright red and he looked completely, entirely insane. Everyone in the gym just started laughing at him.
As he left the manager thanked me for getting rid of the Chub Scout and told me to have a nice day. Planet Fitness is an awesome place to work out!
I was doing my usual superset today on 3 different machines, and had my towel and keys on the machines to claim them. This fat dude walks up and asks how my sets I had left and I told him I just started. He says, “You know, it's not entirely reasonable to take up 3 machines at once in a crowded gym.”
I said, “Check this out Butterball, people superset here all the time.”
He says, “Yeah, maybe more advanced lifters who know what they're doing will use two machines at a time.”
I said, “You think you're an advanced lifter? You're just a Hippoglottamus.”
I mean, this guy was wearing like a size XXXXXXXL hoodie with enormous sweats that looked like they were about the size of a 6 person tent. Anybody with a brain could see he was a fat ass.
So anyway, right after I said this he walks over and picks up my towel. I figured the Blubber Butt was probably hungry and needed a snack since he hadn't eaten in about 4 minutes, but instead he takes it over an sets it on the trash can. I calmly walked behind him and whispered in his ear how I was going to beat him senseless in the parking lot as soon as he left. The fear of God entered his face, but I guess in order for him to save face in front of the entire gym, he waddles over and grabs my keys and then proceeds to put them on top of the same trash can. (I'm still calmly following behind him and whispering in his ear how I'm going to demolish him as soon as he leaves.) But, instead of leaving, Mr. Flabby goes over to the hammer strength lat pull machine, puts it on the lowest weight possible, and starts trying to figure out how to use it. People in the gym are starting to point and giggle at this point, so I figured I'd have a little more fun with this roly-poly and casually walk over behind the machine and stand up on the back of it because I know he can't handle an ounce of extra weight. He starts grunting and struggling to do a rep but can't move the machine a freaking inch. I start laughing at him so hard I fall off the machine and then to proceed to scare him a little more by grabbing my phone and pretending to call the cops on him for moving my personal property.
Anyway, at this point, Mr. Fat Boy gets all scared and whispers “bye faggot” and starts rolling towards the door. I started to follow him out but the manager walked up just in time to save his ass. Everybody in the gym then starts chanting in unison, “You're a fat f*ck, you're a fat f*ck, you're a fat f*ck, you're a fat f*ck....
I thought Porky was gonna have a coronary as his face turned a bright red and he looked completely, entirely insane. Everyone in the gym just started laughing at him.
As he left the manager thanked me for getting rid of the Chub Scout and told me to have a nice day. Planet Fitness is an awesome place to work out!
