T
TheBradleyAllan
New Member
- Jan 20, 2012
- 1
- 0
Maybe some of you have seen this before on another forum i use but since i am new to here i thought i would share as things are still up and down with the roller coaster life i seem to lead.
I write this as its my true life story and I have seen a few people recently get messed up and in similar situation that I did.
Where do I begin?
I suppose as far back as I can remember which takes me back to when I was about 10 years old. I was what you would call Chubby but what all other kids called fatty or fatty boom boom or on the odd day Fatso.
Being a 10 year old kid you don’t pay much attention but it does get to you but thinking back it just made me eat more, Don’t get me wrong I was far from obese but I was on the larger end of the scale and name calling from other kids was common practice
Thinking back this was everyday life until I was about 14 or so when I did start to enjoy sports at school but still was a bit chubby compared to others kids of my age.
Leaving school at 16 to start an apprenticeship, Things got worse, I now found myself in a job where eating Rubbish was just too easy and the 10am Breakfast everyday was two HUGE bacon and sausage rolls with some crisps and chocolate to finish, Fizzy Juice was a Must. Lunch time was another trip to the Burger van to have a cheeseburger and chips, thinking back it make me cringe but it was my routine and I couldn’t see past it
Turning 17 and passing my driving test did make things better as the joys of paying and running a car cut back on any money I had so did lose a lot of weight but I was short lived.
At the age of 19 I was told I was going to be a Father, WOW I thought, so the baby arrived and I settled into a new home with my partner and the new born baby, By God did I put on the pounds, Takeaways were a common meal sometimes 5 days a week, Instead of magazines to read, I had takeaway menus.
At the age of 19 I got myself a part time job as a doorman (Bouncer) for some extra money but after 5 or so hours standing in a cold doorway you are starving and at 3am my meal of choice was normally a LARGE Doner Kebab before bed. The pounds flew on and the waist size grew and so did the passing comments, The first and most common abuse you get when you throw someone out of a club in my case was Fat ones, Ill be back for you fatty they would say, or the likes of Bet you can catch be you Fat so and so. I laughed these off with my colleagues but deep down these got to me and tore me up inside. Things got too much and me and my partner split up and working as a doorman turned into a full time job and so did the eating junk food at silly times of the day or night
Fast forward a few years until I am 21 and I meet my current partner (now my wife), She see’s me for who I am and says how I look don’t bother her, picture in your head the stereotypical doorman, Big fat, shaved head and a goatee beard, well that’s me, What a Catch. Things are good and I have a great girl by my side who funnily enough is not big at a guess back then she was a nice shapely size 12, what the hell did she see in me I ask myself now.
She must have seen something as a few years go by and she now shares my passion for food and we both grow bigger and bigger, not from reading this its sounds like we were huge, not quite but we are on the bloody larger end of the scale and by the time our first child is born a few years later I weigh in at around 18 stone and at a guess the wife about 17 stone, That’s a bloody big food Bill and Bloody big bed. Life goes on and another year later our second child is born, this was my turning point, Looking at some pictures of myself with our new born it hit home and hit home hard just how big I was. Enough was enough, I told myself I was joining a Gym and I was going to get in shape, but of course everybody laughed at it and the comments were worse and inside my head really hurt. Every person I told I had joined a gym made a comment but this made me more determined to give it a go.
Jan 2008 - Day one at the Gym.
I weight myself and tip the scales at 18stone 4lbs maybe not too heavy but I am only 5 foot 6 so it’s bloody heavy. I ask my friend to take a Picture of me so I can look at it and make sure I give this my best shot. I make my way up to the gym but there is a small problem, I haven’t got a clue what I should be doing, being a Big Shaved headed stubborn Male, the last thing I want to do is ask someone for advice so I have a bash at everything but in reality I just didn’t have a clue. This was the drill for about 6 months, 3 nights a week I would head to the gym and think I could loose weight, afterwards I was sore and tired so what better way to recover with a big meal and normally not a healthy one and my weight stayed the same, I got stronger but still looked what I would say, “A Bloody mess.
A change of job means I am now working a 36 hour week and could potentially follow a good diet and sort out my routine, I have access to the internet during the day so I spend a long time day after day reading Bodybuilding website, Dieting websites, YouTube for videos and now realising the last 6 months I have done it all wrong and its been a waste of 6 months.
I decide to start a fresh and build myself a diet based on what I have read on the internet, this is where I start to realise its not as easy as it looks and that I don’t have a clue what is right and what is wrong to eat so another few months pass and although I am losing weight, its bloody slow and some weeks I gain weight and become depressed and a very nasty person to be around, blaming my wife for her lack of support. She tries her best but I am obsessed that I have to loose weight and feel everyone is laughing and against me.
Everyday is the same, when I am not working I am on the internet reading and looking up as much info as I can, eventually I build myself a diet plan based on high protein and low carbs and I give it a go, I now train 5 days a week and my weight starts to fall off. People start to notice and say nice things to me, I become hooked. I follow this routine and after 6 months I loose almost 2 stone in weight, everywhere I go people comment on how well I look. I am amazed and I love the new attention I am getting. But things change and hit what you would call a brick wall and my weight stays the same again, week after week, people are still saying nice thing but in my eyes I am still fat and deep down I am screaming to do better.
I am introduced to a Processional bodybuilder who knows his stuff and I swallow my pride and ask for advice, He telling me some very usual things and points me in the right direction and I get my head down and start working my butt off again and it works the weight starts to drop but slowly but after the advice I was given I now know that due to the fact I am doing a lot of weights and gaining muscle my weight wont shift that quick and I should be going by what the mirror tells me and not the scales. After 6 months the different in my body is scary and everywhere I go people comment on my looks, if I am in a Club or a pub girls pay me attention like I have never seen before. I now weigh around 16 stone but I have dropped from a 40” waist to an amazing 34” waist.
I now enjoy the gym more than I ever did and I pretty much base my whole life around it, 5 days per week I head to the gym and do my routine, I eat every 3 hours and love it but its not as easy as it sounds, come the weekend I take a break from the gym and try and relax with the family, this is my downfall and I eat like a pig, its very common to gain 7lbs of weight over the weekend, heading the gym on a Monday, Depressed and Feeling fat again, This is how things are for the next few months and make me dread the weekends but I just cant help myself. Most Fridays I tip the scales at around 16stone but for me this is just not good enough, I want more, want to be like the bodybuilders I see on TV and in the magazines, I tell my friends this and they laugh, This upsets me and I now want it more than ever.
Dec 2008.
I speak to my bodybuilder friend who has gave me advice around 6 months back and he shocks me and tells me that I could do it and could compete in a first timers bodybuilders competition if I can sort my diet and dedicate myself 100%, he explains that it will not be easy and maybe have some serious effects on my emotions etc but I want to try. Its around 12 weeks from the date of the competition and my weight is 15 13lbs, I have such a huge amount to do but only 12 weeks to do it, My Bodybuilder friend writes me a detailed diet plan which is seems impossible to stick too but I manages and follow it 100%.
After 2 weeks I have lost an amazing 6 lbs and start to notice my body changes almost by the day, I am getting up at 6.30am for 20mins cardio before breakfast and before I head to work then back for my weights workout at 7pm, its hard work but I am coping.
10 weeks from the Comp and my determination is through the roof, I spend all day eating, reading and training like a bodybuilder, I love it and I loose another 6lbs, I now weight 15stone 1lbs and people are taking notice, I am like a kid in a sweetie shop, people in the gym are now asking me for advice and taking notice of me.
10 weeks out.
Things are starting to get hard, My Bodybuilder friend has gave me a new 10 weeks out diet, which has less carbs in it and tells me I may start to feel a bit tired and maybe even get grumpy, I assure him I will be fine and set to work on getting to my goal and making myself and my family proud. By this time my fat former self is gone and I am now eating and training like I am a bodybuilder, gone are the XXL Tops I train in and they are replaced by pukka Gym vests to show off how well I look.
9weeks out.
Another a week passes and I am now 14stone 10lbs, I am 9 weeks out from the competition and doing well but a bombshell is dropped by my Bodybuilder friend, I don’t even know how to pose, So twice a week he invites me to be shown and learn some posing routines after my workouts, I am shocked this drains me of all energy and is an eye opener, I can honestly say it’s the hardest thing I have ever done and is unbelievably hard, I struggle on and get to grips with it although in my mind I am very worried that I wont cope. I now see that as well as having the perfect diet and the Right training routine I now need to make sure I have to make sure I know the routines and mandatory poses that the judges will be looking for, I am a nervous wreck and start to get very tired and lose my motivation
6 weeks out.
I am drained, I am tired and I am not coping, I can’t get my ass out of bed for my essential morning cardio and I am struggling for the much needed energy for my workouts, I am now 14 stone 5lbs and although looking very well, in my head I keep telling myself I cant do and start to get depressed, is it the food or is it the diet? I don’t know and every day I think about pulling out of the comp, I keep telling myself I am not ready and I just cant do that Morning cardio, I do my weights at night, then the cardio, then my posing routines, by the time I get home at 10pm I have been at the gym for 3 hours and I am a mess, Things with my wife have got worse and I can barely speak to her with shouting at her. She keeps saying to quit and not let it get to me, there is no rush she says but to me there is, I cant let myself or the people around me down, things go from bad to worse and I walk out on my wife, This is the start of self destruct mode for me and things go from bad to worse, I don’t see my kids, My parents are against me, I have nowhere to stay, what the hell am I doing, I ask myself over and over but I keep telling myself that I wont be beaten and still thing I can make the comp in 6 weeks time. At work things are just as bad, I am short tempered, I have had pretty much no sleep and it effects my job and my work mates, I am advised to take a few weeks off to sort my head out and my family.
5 weeks out.
Do stop and sort my family out? No I don’t, I have come this far I tell myself and I will get to my goal. By now training is getting harder and harder but I am still making progress and my weight is 14 stone 3lbs and every time I look in the mirror it even shocks me but deep down I know I am struggling and the lack of morning cardio and stress is putting huge strain on me, I know deep down I wont make it but people around me tell me I still can so I ignore the cries from my wife and family and carry on.
Every day I am struggling and I distance myself from my friends and in my eyes nothing else apart from my gym matters, When I can I do my morning cardio if I cant I do it at night knowing its probably not enough to get me in shape on time.
4 weeks out.
Every time I look in the mirror I see a shadow of what used to be me and this weeks I weight in at 14stone 1lb, Things with the family are still a mess and I am still not back staying at home, I am now obsessed with it, I am starting to see that I just don’t have enough time to get in the shape I need and I should stop and sort out my family and take my training a bit easier, I am no longer enjoying it as much as I did and I am missing my wife and Kids.
3 weeks out.
Enough is enough, I now weight 13stone 11lbs, Oh my god 13stone I say to myself, I haven’t weighed that since I was about 10 years old. But after seeing my doctor I have decided enough is enough, I am an emotional wreck, My Job is on the line, My marriage is a mess, I set out to lose weight and make myself happy and in turn I have done the opposite and ended up with my life in a mess.
2 weeks out.
Today is the day I decided its time to sort out my bloody life, I meet my Body builder friend who has helped me and explain what has been going on, he tells me I should have quit weeks ago and my Family is more important and that its not a big deal and I can use the knowledge and experience I have gained to make myself bigger and better for next years comp and give myself plenty time to do.
I go home to my wife and admit I have been an idiot and explain what has been going on in my head, it is not going to be easy but I try and rebuild the mess I have made and put my training on hold.
That was 2 years ago
2010: The Year I rebuild my life:
Myself and my wife have rebuilt what I ruined and she know shares my passion for the Gym and Exercise, She had zero interest before as I was to wrapped up in myself to even think about helping her loose her weight
We started working as a team and she enjoy a new healthy lifestyle and started attending the Gym as much as she could.
In 7 months of me being home my wife lost an amazing 7 STONE and dropped from a dress size 20 down to an amazing size 10.
My training got better than ever and I gained more size but still staying in great shape, I weigh around 15stone and I am in the best shape I have ever been in.
I rushed my weight loss and it almost cost me my family and my marriage, They say Rome was not built in a day and that is so true.
I train 5 Days per week and Now Study Nutrition in my spare time purely as I have strong interest in it like to pass what I have learned on as I know how hard it is to have the guts to get started and do things correctly but this was all about to change.
The start of the downfall.
Its Dec 2010 and I now decide that I need to concentrate more on my career and I back off with my gym attendance to work more and spend more time with the family and slow but surely my weight starts to pile back on and the mind games start again and I become seriously depressed about my weight and no matter what I do I just cannot get back into my routine.
Between Dec 2010 and Nov 2011,I have slacked at the gym so much and ruined my diet it has cost me 3+ stone and I am almost back to where I started in 2008 and now weigh 17+stone.
Instead of coming home from work and hitting the gym, I now come home and either have a takeaway and bottle of wine or we head out for a junk meal of some sort.
What the hell have I done??
I have ruined all my hard work in becoming a fitter, healthier person, all the great comments I was getting are gone and now replaced with people saying “have you put on weight”.
Losing weight is fine but keeping it off is another thing, but knowing I have don’t it once, I long to do it again but getting started just seems to always end in failure.
I am a very depressed person and apart from work, I never really go out, gone are the nice tight tops and I now wear baggy clothes to hide my shame.
Nov 2011.
I cant do it anymore, I have no excuse.
I need to change, I get my pen and paper out and I write down my food intake for the previous week, bloody hell what a disgrace.
I now write down a new diet and plan to stick to it and get myself back to the gym good and proper.
Its now the end of Nov and I have lost 1 stone and dropped back into a 36” jeans, wow I feel better but I know I cant stop now.
Xmas is approaching and I am genuinely scared that I will ruin all Novembers hard work but I keep going and I am now back at the gym 4 times per week and my diet is perfect.
Its Xmas day and I eat like a pig but I am constantly telling myself that its one day and one day only, the next day I wake up and my diet is back on track and I hit the gym for a killer cardio sesh, I do this the next few days and do well, I weigh myself and I have actually lost 3lbs, wow I think, no one ever loses weight at Xmas but I have.
My motivation is back with a vengeance and I just cant get enough, over the next 4 weeks I lose another stone and now back in the 15stone area.
Jan 2012.
I am back training 5 days per week (Twice a day) but this time I am still making sure I find time for the family, the weight is flying off and I am now back down the weight I was in 2009 and my motivation and ambition is stronger than ever.
I am working away from home 2 weeks per month and my diet and training is nailed.
Can I keep it up?
I will update this log as the months go past.
Goals? To keep going and help others who feel like I have done.
You have to practice hat you preach so I WILL NOT slack.
Bradley
Some pictures:
Intial before and after (after 1 year at the gym)
2009 and start of 8 week diet to try and compete.
Me and the wife before my change 2007
Me and the wife 2009
Current day with the kids and trying to keep the weight off and hopefully keep bettering myself.
I write this as its my true life story and I have seen a few people recently get messed up and in similar situation that I did.
Where do I begin?
I suppose as far back as I can remember which takes me back to when I was about 10 years old. I was what you would call Chubby but what all other kids called fatty or fatty boom boom or on the odd day Fatso.
Being a 10 year old kid you don’t pay much attention but it does get to you but thinking back it just made me eat more, Don’t get me wrong I was far from obese but I was on the larger end of the scale and name calling from other kids was common practice
Thinking back this was everyday life until I was about 14 or so when I did start to enjoy sports at school but still was a bit chubby compared to others kids of my age.
Leaving school at 16 to start an apprenticeship, Things got worse, I now found myself in a job where eating Rubbish was just too easy and the 10am Breakfast everyday was two HUGE bacon and sausage rolls with some crisps and chocolate to finish, Fizzy Juice was a Must. Lunch time was another trip to the Burger van to have a cheeseburger and chips, thinking back it make me cringe but it was my routine and I couldn’t see past it
Turning 17 and passing my driving test did make things better as the joys of paying and running a car cut back on any money I had so did lose a lot of weight but I was short lived.
At the age of 19 I was told I was going to be a Father, WOW I thought, so the baby arrived and I settled into a new home with my partner and the new born baby, By God did I put on the pounds, Takeaways were a common meal sometimes 5 days a week, Instead of magazines to read, I had takeaway menus.
At the age of 19 I got myself a part time job as a doorman (Bouncer) for some extra money but after 5 or so hours standing in a cold doorway you are starving and at 3am my meal of choice was normally a LARGE Doner Kebab before bed. The pounds flew on and the waist size grew and so did the passing comments, The first and most common abuse you get when you throw someone out of a club in my case was Fat ones, Ill be back for you fatty they would say, or the likes of Bet you can catch be you Fat so and so. I laughed these off with my colleagues but deep down these got to me and tore me up inside. Things got too much and me and my partner split up and working as a doorman turned into a full time job and so did the eating junk food at silly times of the day or night
Fast forward a few years until I am 21 and I meet my current partner (now my wife), She see’s me for who I am and says how I look don’t bother her, picture in your head the stereotypical doorman, Big fat, shaved head and a goatee beard, well that’s me, What a Catch. Things are good and I have a great girl by my side who funnily enough is not big at a guess back then she was a nice shapely size 12, what the hell did she see in me I ask myself now.
She must have seen something as a few years go by and she now shares my passion for food and we both grow bigger and bigger, not from reading this its sounds like we were huge, not quite but we are on the bloody larger end of the scale and by the time our first child is born a few years later I weigh in at around 18 stone and at a guess the wife about 17 stone, That’s a bloody big food Bill and Bloody big bed. Life goes on and another year later our second child is born, this was my turning point, Looking at some pictures of myself with our new born it hit home and hit home hard just how big I was. Enough was enough, I told myself I was joining a Gym and I was going to get in shape, but of course everybody laughed at it and the comments were worse and inside my head really hurt. Every person I told I had joined a gym made a comment but this made me more determined to give it a go.
Jan 2008 - Day one at the Gym.
I weight myself and tip the scales at 18stone 4lbs maybe not too heavy but I am only 5 foot 6 so it’s bloody heavy. I ask my friend to take a Picture of me so I can look at it and make sure I give this my best shot. I make my way up to the gym but there is a small problem, I haven’t got a clue what I should be doing, being a Big Shaved headed stubborn Male, the last thing I want to do is ask someone for advice so I have a bash at everything but in reality I just didn’t have a clue. This was the drill for about 6 months, 3 nights a week I would head to the gym and think I could loose weight, afterwards I was sore and tired so what better way to recover with a big meal and normally not a healthy one and my weight stayed the same, I got stronger but still looked what I would say, “A Bloody mess.
A change of job means I am now working a 36 hour week and could potentially follow a good diet and sort out my routine, I have access to the internet during the day so I spend a long time day after day reading Bodybuilding website, Dieting websites, YouTube for videos and now realising the last 6 months I have done it all wrong and its been a waste of 6 months.
I decide to start a fresh and build myself a diet based on what I have read on the internet, this is where I start to realise its not as easy as it looks and that I don’t have a clue what is right and what is wrong to eat so another few months pass and although I am losing weight, its bloody slow and some weeks I gain weight and become depressed and a very nasty person to be around, blaming my wife for her lack of support. She tries her best but I am obsessed that I have to loose weight and feel everyone is laughing and against me.
Everyday is the same, when I am not working I am on the internet reading and looking up as much info as I can, eventually I build myself a diet plan based on high protein and low carbs and I give it a go, I now train 5 days a week and my weight starts to fall off. People start to notice and say nice things to me, I become hooked. I follow this routine and after 6 months I loose almost 2 stone in weight, everywhere I go people comment on how well I look. I am amazed and I love the new attention I am getting. But things change and hit what you would call a brick wall and my weight stays the same again, week after week, people are still saying nice thing but in my eyes I am still fat and deep down I am screaming to do better.
I am introduced to a Processional bodybuilder who knows his stuff and I swallow my pride and ask for advice, He telling me some very usual things and points me in the right direction and I get my head down and start working my butt off again and it works the weight starts to drop but slowly but after the advice I was given I now know that due to the fact I am doing a lot of weights and gaining muscle my weight wont shift that quick and I should be going by what the mirror tells me and not the scales. After 6 months the different in my body is scary and everywhere I go people comment on my looks, if I am in a Club or a pub girls pay me attention like I have never seen before. I now weigh around 16 stone but I have dropped from a 40” waist to an amazing 34” waist.
I now enjoy the gym more than I ever did and I pretty much base my whole life around it, 5 days per week I head to the gym and do my routine, I eat every 3 hours and love it but its not as easy as it sounds, come the weekend I take a break from the gym and try and relax with the family, this is my downfall and I eat like a pig, its very common to gain 7lbs of weight over the weekend, heading the gym on a Monday, Depressed and Feeling fat again, This is how things are for the next few months and make me dread the weekends but I just cant help myself. Most Fridays I tip the scales at around 16stone but for me this is just not good enough, I want more, want to be like the bodybuilders I see on TV and in the magazines, I tell my friends this and they laugh, This upsets me and I now want it more than ever.
Dec 2008.
I speak to my bodybuilder friend who has gave me advice around 6 months back and he shocks me and tells me that I could do it and could compete in a first timers bodybuilders competition if I can sort my diet and dedicate myself 100%, he explains that it will not be easy and maybe have some serious effects on my emotions etc but I want to try. Its around 12 weeks from the date of the competition and my weight is 15 13lbs, I have such a huge amount to do but only 12 weeks to do it, My Bodybuilder friend writes me a detailed diet plan which is seems impossible to stick too but I manages and follow it 100%.
After 2 weeks I have lost an amazing 6 lbs and start to notice my body changes almost by the day, I am getting up at 6.30am for 20mins cardio before breakfast and before I head to work then back for my weights workout at 7pm, its hard work but I am coping.
10 weeks from the Comp and my determination is through the roof, I spend all day eating, reading and training like a bodybuilder, I love it and I loose another 6lbs, I now weight 15stone 1lbs and people are taking notice, I am like a kid in a sweetie shop, people in the gym are now asking me for advice and taking notice of me.
10 weeks out.
Things are starting to get hard, My Bodybuilder friend has gave me a new 10 weeks out diet, which has less carbs in it and tells me I may start to feel a bit tired and maybe even get grumpy, I assure him I will be fine and set to work on getting to my goal and making myself and my family proud. By this time my fat former self is gone and I am now eating and training like I am a bodybuilder, gone are the XXL Tops I train in and they are replaced by pukka Gym vests to show off how well I look.
9weeks out.
Another a week passes and I am now 14stone 10lbs, I am 9 weeks out from the competition and doing well but a bombshell is dropped by my Bodybuilder friend, I don’t even know how to pose, So twice a week he invites me to be shown and learn some posing routines after my workouts, I am shocked this drains me of all energy and is an eye opener, I can honestly say it’s the hardest thing I have ever done and is unbelievably hard, I struggle on and get to grips with it although in my mind I am very worried that I wont cope. I now see that as well as having the perfect diet and the Right training routine I now need to make sure I have to make sure I know the routines and mandatory poses that the judges will be looking for, I am a nervous wreck and start to get very tired and lose my motivation
6 weeks out.
I am drained, I am tired and I am not coping, I can’t get my ass out of bed for my essential morning cardio and I am struggling for the much needed energy for my workouts, I am now 14 stone 5lbs and although looking very well, in my head I keep telling myself I cant do and start to get depressed, is it the food or is it the diet? I don’t know and every day I think about pulling out of the comp, I keep telling myself I am not ready and I just cant do that Morning cardio, I do my weights at night, then the cardio, then my posing routines, by the time I get home at 10pm I have been at the gym for 3 hours and I am a mess, Things with my wife have got worse and I can barely speak to her with shouting at her. She keeps saying to quit and not let it get to me, there is no rush she says but to me there is, I cant let myself or the people around me down, things go from bad to worse and I walk out on my wife, This is the start of self destruct mode for me and things go from bad to worse, I don’t see my kids, My parents are against me, I have nowhere to stay, what the hell am I doing, I ask myself over and over but I keep telling myself that I wont be beaten and still thing I can make the comp in 6 weeks time. At work things are just as bad, I am short tempered, I have had pretty much no sleep and it effects my job and my work mates, I am advised to take a few weeks off to sort my head out and my family.
5 weeks out.
Do stop and sort my family out? No I don’t, I have come this far I tell myself and I will get to my goal. By now training is getting harder and harder but I am still making progress and my weight is 14 stone 3lbs and every time I look in the mirror it even shocks me but deep down I know I am struggling and the lack of morning cardio and stress is putting huge strain on me, I know deep down I wont make it but people around me tell me I still can so I ignore the cries from my wife and family and carry on.
Every day I am struggling and I distance myself from my friends and in my eyes nothing else apart from my gym matters, When I can I do my morning cardio if I cant I do it at night knowing its probably not enough to get me in shape on time.
4 weeks out.
Every time I look in the mirror I see a shadow of what used to be me and this weeks I weight in at 14stone 1lb, Things with the family are still a mess and I am still not back staying at home, I am now obsessed with it, I am starting to see that I just don’t have enough time to get in the shape I need and I should stop and sort out my family and take my training a bit easier, I am no longer enjoying it as much as I did and I am missing my wife and Kids.
3 weeks out.
Enough is enough, I now weight 13stone 11lbs, Oh my god 13stone I say to myself, I haven’t weighed that since I was about 10 years old. But after seeing my doctor I have decided enough is enough, I am an emotional wreck, My Job is on the line, My marriage is a mess, I set out to lose weight and make myself happy and in turn I have done the opposite and ended up with my life in a mess.
2 weeks out.
Today is the day I decided its time to sort out my bloody life, I meet my Body builder friend who has helped me and explain what has been going on, he tells me I should have quit weeks ago and my Family is more important and that its not a big deal and I can use the knowledge and experience I have gained to make myself bigger and better for next years comp and give myself plenty time to do.
I go home to my wife and admit I have been an idiot and explain what has been going on in my head, it is not going to be easy but I try and rebuild the mess I have made and put my training on hold.
That was 2 years ago
2010: The Year I rebuild my life:
Myself and my wife have rebuilt what I ruined and she know shares my passion for the Gym and Exercise, She had zero interest before as I was to wrapped up in myself to even think about helping her loose her weight
We started working as a team and she enjoy a new healthy lifestyle and started attending the Gym as much as she could.
In 7 months of me being home my wife lost an amazing 7 STONE and dropped from a dress size 20 down to an amazing size 10.
My training got better than ever and I gained more size but still staying in great shape, I weigh around 15stone and I am in the best shape I have ever been in.
I rushed my weight loss and it almost cost me my family and my marriage, They say Rome was not built in a day and that is so true.
I train 5 Days per week and Now Study Nutrition in my spare time purely as I have strong interest in it like to pass what I have learned on as I know how hard it is to have the guts to get started and do things correctly but this was all about to change.
The start of the downfall.
Its Dec 2010 and I now decide that I need to concentrate more on my career and I back off with my gym attendance to work more and spend more time with the family and slow but surely my weight starts to pile back on and the mind games start again and I become seriously depressed about my weight and no matter what I do I just cannot get back into my routine.
Between Dec 2010 and Nov 2011,I have slacked at the gym so much and ruined my diet it has cost me 3+ stone and I am almost back to where I started in 2008 and now weigh 17+stone.
Instead of coming home from work and hitting the gym, I now come home and either have a takeaway and bottle of wine or we head out for a junk meal of some sort.
What the hell have I done??
I have ruined all my hard work in becoming a fitter, healthier person, all the great comments I was getting are gone and now replaced with people saying “have you put on weight”.
Losing weight is fine but keeping it off is another thing, but knowing I have don’t it once, I long to do it again but getting started just seems to always end in failure.
I am a very depressed person and apart from work, I never really go out, gone are the nice tight tops and I now wear baggy clothes to hide my shame.
Nov 2011.
I cant do it anymore, I have no excuse.
I need to change, I get my pen and paper out and I write down my food intake for the previous week, bloody hell what a disgrace.
I now write down a new diet and plan to stick to it and get myself back to the gym good and proper.
Its now the end of Nov and I have lost 1 stone and dropped back into a 36” jeans, wow I feel better but I know I cant stop now.
Xmas is approaching and I am genuinely scared that I will ruin all Novembers hard work but I keep going and I am now back at the gym 4 times per week and my diet is perfect.
Its Xmas day and I eat like a pig but I am constantly telling myself that its one day and one day only, the next day I wake up and my diet is back on track and I hit the gym for a killer cardio sesh, I do this the next few days and do well, I weigh myself and I have actually lost 3lbs, wow I think, no one ever loses weight at Xmas but I have.
My motivation is back with a vengeance and I just cant get enough, over the next 4 weeks I lose another stone and now back in the 15stone area.
Jan 2012.
I am back training 5 days per week (Twice a day) but this time I am still making sure I find time for the family, the weight is flying off and I am now back down the weight I was in 2009 and my motivation and ambition is stronger than ever.
I am working away from home 2 weeks per month and my diet and training is nailed.
Can I keep it up?
I will update this log as the months go past.
Goals? To keep going and help others who feel like I have done.
You have to practice hat you preach so I WILL NOT slack.
Bradley
Some pictures:
Intial before and after (after 1 year at the gym)
2009 and start of 8 week diet to try and compete.
Me and the wife before my change 2007
Me and the wife 2009
Current day with the kids and trying to keep the weight off and hopefully keep bettering myself.
