Child support

[Wallyd]

Since 2010, when my ex couldn’t keep her knees together, I’ve been paying child support. The total amount I’ve paid is over $82320. Out of that amount I bet my daughter hasn’t seen a quarter of that money.

Fast forward to the present, I meet all the criteria to terminate child support. Of course I will still help my daughter & now I know the money will go to her. I’ve already had one hearing to terminate it & tonight I find out I have to have another hearing to get reimbursed for what I overpaid.

I started this process in October, I had to wait until then per the court system. On April 8 I got in terminated after who knows how many phone calls between DFS & the circuit clerks office.

Heres my question, why is it SO easy for a women to get child support & such a bitch to stop it? The court system where I live definitely favors the woman.

 

[Snachito1]

I always just thought that once a child turns 18 all child support stops I had no idea there was a criteria to terminate child support!! Wally man I feel for ya man and hope things can get better for you and your daughter!!

 

[Wallyd]

I always just thought that once a child turns 18 all child support stops I had no idea there was a criteria to terminate child support!! Wally man I feel for ya man and hope things can get better for you and your daughter!!

I’m good buddy & thanks for the well wishes. It’s just aggravating jumping through all these hoops. All she had to do was say I want child support then we fight over how much. In the end the judge says pay this amount.

I can’t just prove I meet the criteria, I have to miss multiple days of work, make four trips to the court house, miss 2 days of work (so far) & they were surprised when I showed up without a lawyer. Really? The criteria is in black & white & so is the proof. The ex was supposed to appear but just ignored the certified letter I had to send her about the court date but that’s ok.

I guess in the end I’m trying to warn anyone in my shoes it’s a process so dig deep & prepare early.
Hope you’re doing well Snachito, you & your family!

 

[hawkeye]

Since 2010, when my ex couldn’t keep her knees together, I’ve been paying child support. The total amount I’ve paid is over $82320. Out of that amount I bet my daughter hasn’t seen a quarter of that money.

Fast forward to the present, I meet all the criteria to terminate child support. Of course I will still help my daughter & now I know the money will go to her. I’ve already had one hearing to terminate it & tonight I find out I have to have another hearing to get reimbursed for what I overpaid.

I started this process in October, I had to wait until then per the court system. On April 8 I got in terminated after who knows how many phone calls between DFS & the circuit clerks office.

Heres my question, why is it SO easy for a women to get child support & such a bitch to stop it? The court system where I live definitely favors the woman.

Most courts do favor the woman. They are antiquated. It's the old adage that they carry the child for 9 months so they deserve more custodial rights and child support. Although, I have heard more states becoming more progressive for fathers' rights. I know your pain all too well. Obviously, laws vary from state to state. Some states allow fault for adultery, and some states do alimony (spousal support), and so on. Unfortunately, most cases tend to favor the mother (which is BS).

It's unfair and I am probably very jaded as a father of four that paid support on four children for 10+ years. The courts do not care one bit how you survive. You can work 100 hours a week to have some semblance life. They will tell you that their concern is only for the welfare of the child. Pretty much it's telling you, don't want to pay, don't have kids.

Nobody plans on divorce or to be separated from your children. Shit happens. Hence why the divorce rate is over 50%. I would be more willing to pay support if I had equal time. Some are fortunate to have this, but in my state there still is a primary care provider. So even if you get joint custody or joint shared custody, it isn't always 50/50. I also can empathize with where the support goes. Courts do not require proof of anything (at least in my state they don't). So they can spend it on whatever they want which blows.

Bottom line is that the system is fucked.

 

[Wallyd]

Most courts do favor the woman. They are antiquated. It's the old adage that they carry the child for 9 months so they deserve more custodial rights and child support. Although, I have heard more states becoming more progressive for fathers' rights. I know your pain all too well. Obviously, laws vary from state to state. Some states allow fault for adultery, and some states do alimony (spousal support), and so on. Unfortunately, most cases tend to favor the mother (which is BS).

It's unfair and I am probably very jaded as a father of four that paid support on four children for 10+ years. The courts do not care one bit how you survive. You can work 100 hours a week to have some semblance life. They will tell you that their concern is only for the welfare of the child. Pretty much it's telling you, don't want to pay, don't have kids.

Nobody plans on divorce or to be separated from your children. Shit happens. Hence why the divorce rate is over 50%. I would be more willing to pay support if I had equal time. Some are fortunate to have this, but in my state there still is a primary care provider. So even if you get joint custody or joint shared custody, it isn't always 50/50. I also can empathize with where the support goes. Courts do not require proof of anything (at least in my state they don't). So they can spend it on whatever they want which blows.

Bottom line is that the system is fucked.

I actually have 50/50 custody but that doesn’t really matter. When I moved 45 minutes from my daughter the court ordered me to do all the driving. Fast forward my ex moved an hour away from original home & I had to do all the driving. In the beginning it was one picks up & one drops off per the court.

My wife did cheat, moved the guy in real quick & later had a baby with him. They split up because he is schizophrenic (for real) & guess what. She never went after him for a dime of child support.

In the beginning the judge ordered me to pay $1000 per month until the divorce was finalized. Guess who didn’t show up to a bunch of court dates just to drag out that $1k pay check. Once finalized that was cut in half.

You’re correct in its an old school way of thinking. I think men should have more rights in todays day and age. One man’s opinion.

 

[hawkeye]

You’re not alone. I didn’t pay any extra per se. $1800 a month and required to have full insurance until 25. It’s messed up and I hear horror stories about fathers just getting hammered in courts.

 

[5.0]

I always just thought that once a child turns 18 all child support stops I had no idea there was a criteria to terminate child support!! Wally man I feel for ya man and hope things can get better for you and your daughter!!

Unless they're a full time student, then it can go until 26. I'm going thru it in NY rite now

 

[Thrawn]

Since 2010, when my ex couldn’t keep her knees together, I’ve been paying child support. The total amount I’ve paid is over $82320. Out of that amount I bet my daughter hasn’t seen a quarter of that money.

Fast forward to the present, I meet all the criteria to terminate child support. Of course I will still help my daughter & now I know the money will go to her. I’ve already had one hearing to terminate it & tonight I find out I have to have another hearing to get reimbursed for what I overpaid.

I started this process in October, I had to wait until then per the court system. On April 8 I got in terminated after who knows how many phone calls between DFS & the circuit clerks office.

Heres my question, why is it SO easy for a women to get child support & such a bitch to stop it? The court system where I live definitely favors the woman.

Because not only does the state get a cut of child support you pay, they get paid by the federal government on a portion of the child support they collect. So essentially the state double dips and they want their money and they sure as fuck don't want it to stop, why do you think certain states still make non-fathers pay and claim it's in the best interest of the child

 

[Wallyd]

Because not only does the state get a cut of child support you pay, they get paid by the federal government on a portion of the child support they collect. So essentially the state double dips and they want their money and they sure as fuck don't want it to stop, why do you think certain states still make non-fathers pay and claim it's in the best interest of the child

I didn’t know that. If true that’s some bs.

 

[Glycomann]

Since 2010, when my ex couldn’t keep her knees together, I’ve been paying child support. The total amount I’ve paid is over $82320. Out of that amount I bet my daughter hasn’t seen a quarter of that money.

Fast forward to the present, I meet all the criteria to terminate child support. Of course I will still help my daughter & now I know the money will go to her. I’ve already had one hearing to terminate it & tonight I find out I have to have another hearing to get reimbursed for what I overpaid.

I started this process in October, I had to wait until then per the court system. On April 8 I got in terminated after who knows how many phone calls between DFS & the circuit clerks office.

Heres my question, why is it SO easy for a women to get child support & such a bitch to stop it? The court system where I live definitely favors the woman.

Because PATRIARCHY is the enemy of tyranny.

 

[Thrawn]

I didn’t know that. If true that’s some bs.

Men can also be proclaimed the biological father even though he is not. In many states, there is a statute of limitations to fight this claim, but many men who are serving in the military, or raising a child who they believe to be theirs, do not contest this claim in time. One of the most notable cases is that against Carnell Alexander. Without his knowledge he was named as a father of a child on a welfare application. He later proved through DNA testing that he was not the father, but the state of Michigan still expected him to pay over $30,000 in child support arrears as it was after the statute of limitations.

How the federal government incentivizes states

https://www.ncsea.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Quick-Facts-Child-Support-Program-Incentives_2022.pdf

 

[beefnewton]