I do not feel like having sex. Am I abnormal?

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Sexual desire is a feeling that drives the individual to pursue sexual activity, from stimulation, development from arousal to orgasm

“Does physical activity increase desire?” Physical exercises favor the release of brain chemicals such as serotonin that can inhibit or stimulate desire.  It will depend on the intensity, and if the exercise is intense it can generate fatigue which leads to lack of desire.

“Is there a remedy to increase desire?” – There is no specific remedy.  It will depend on other factors such as the couple’s relationship, whether they are in conflict, whether they have any illness, whether they have problems at work.  In these cases the triggering factors need to be resolved.  Testosterone is indicated in some cases in which there is a decrease, as in menopause in women and in men after 40 to 60 years.

sexual desire

 “Can birth control pills inhibit sex drive ?” – About 20% of women report falling libido more often associated with fear of taking medicine.  In others the desire increases, because they feel safe without risk of becoming pregnant.  It depends a little on the hormones and much more on thinking about the method.

 “If the woman takes Viagra, do you feel more horny?” No. Recent tests have proven that it does not work for women.  It is specific for causing erection in men, but it does not arouse arousal in men.

“How do antidepressants work in relation to desire?” – Depression can cause decreased libido.  Antidepressants also cause a decrease in desire.  Interesting that depression and its treatment end up generating decrease or inhibition of desire.  The ideal is to replace the antidepressant with another that does not have this inhibitory effect.  It is important to analyze each situation and to increase other ways of stimulating and improving sexuality.  It is also important to know that sexual activity is not mandatory.  There are people who have no sexual interest, called asexual.

“Does uterine and ovarian surgery make you lose your sex drive?” No. The withdrawal of the uterus can interfere when the woman starts to feel less of a woman.  It is a myth and has a psychological effect.

“What stirs desire more in men?  Words or action? “ It depends on the man.  Using words, touches or a seductive environment encourages more women.  The action of erotic touches and the visual in general stimulates more men

 “I’m ashamed of my body and it ends my interest in sex.  What do I do? “ ” This is the myth of the perfect body and that is in the minds of many women, of some men as well, and it only disturbs.  Important to be sensual and knowing where and how to touch the partner the way he likes, use less light in the environment.  Do not value appearance, prioritize pleasure.

 “If it diminished or ended the will, what to do?” – It can recover the excitement within the relationship itself with increment of stimulation techniques, especially with return to the interest, stimuli of touch, affection and demonstration of attention.  But the technique is of no use if the relationship is not well out of bed.  The complicity and the daily interaction are fundamental for a couple to rekindle the desire.  Desire needs to be cultivated, it is impossible to have desire if you do not think about sex.

 “My partner does not look for me to have sex anymore.  Why? “ These and many other questions are very common among women today, while the subject is practically absent among men.  In past ages the question of desire was of no importance and was not discussed among women because having desire or speaking in desire was forbidden or misbehaving.  Sexual desire is a feeling that drives the individual to pursue sexual activity, from stimulation, development from arousal to orgasm.

Using as a criterion “to experience spontaneous sexual desire occasionally, rarely or never,” research has shown that it can reach 80% among women.  Desire and excitement are interrelated, and one can strengthen the other.  The female model can start from a state of unwillingness to stimulation, it becomes aroused and the desire comes later.  In man, however, desire precedes arousal, most of the time, but it can present itself even without desire, and when it is stimulated to become aroused.  In fact there is no rule, as in everything related to sexuality.

In a study of sexual behavior in the US, 23.4% of complaints of lack of desire for young women were found, reaching 73% for women over 60 years of age.  Already among men, in a study that involved 29 countries and evaluated 13,618 men, between 40 and 80 years old, in relation to the question “lack of sexual interest frequently”, the answer was of 1.3 to 3.1%, Prevalence is lower.
Hormones and neurotransmitters regulate the sex drive.  The main one is testosterone (male hormone also present in women) that motivates for sexual activity.  However, there are factors involved that interfere with diminishing desire, such as conflicts between the couple, troubled relationships, anxiety, depression, fatigue, lack of attraction, physical illness and medications.  On the other hand, we have situations that increase desire, such as passion, a climate of romance, moments of affective involvement, interest in conquest.  Some foods, tea or fruit are called aphrodisiacs, which could arouse desire, but this is myth and without proof.  Desire is a psychic / psychological response to the mental elaboration of each person, which can be stimulated or inhibited according to the situation.

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