AllTheWay
TID Lady Member
- Mar 17, 2011
- 4,240
- 411
Why do i do what i do? why do you do what you do? what drives you to do it? what do you want from it? why are you even doing it? i pondered these questions today when walking on the treadmill.
earlier today a friend had sent me a message that my comment in her log had discouraged her. she knew it was meant for fun but to her it made her wonder why she was doing this. now dont get me wrong, i dont randomly give people a hard time (ok, i do), but i have followed 2 of her other logs and they are usually full of energy and full of enthusiasm and this current log is down and depressing, so completely different from who she is! so given my blunt nature, i commented on the lack of workouts and it hurt her feelings. for that i apologize. it was not my intent nor my desire to do such a thing. but the whole exchange got me to thinking, why? why am i still doing this with the same level of enthusiasm as when i started 2 years ago? what is it that makes me keep at it and keep a decent attitude even when i dont feel like it? how does one maintain even when they dont want to?
the honest answer, pride! it sounds horrible given as much as i have written on how bad pride is
but it is the truth. i am not willing to stop or to fail or to give up or to accept less then the best from myself because i am a prideful person! that is why i take and post new pics almost every day. i want to force myself to constantly do better and look better than the day before! it is what has driven me the past 2 years. 2 years of ups and downs, gains and plateaus, leanness and fatness. i would not allow myself to let all of you down! my pride would not allow me to stop giving my all even though atleast half the time i didnt want to be in the gym and 99% of the time my joints hurt and im tired or exhausted and it isnt fun being in the gym.
my whole life i have been driven to succeed in whatever it is i set out to do, as long as somebody else knew about it, i wanted to make sure that i acheived it. getting into vet school after only 3 years of undergrad. i said i wanted to do that and it wasnt easy but i worked hard and brought my grades up and i took 24 credits a semester and i did it. making it through vet school while working 30-40 hours a week. wasnt easy, my grades sucked most of the time but i wouldnt, coudnt, fail! starting a mobile large animal practice, starting from nothing. i worked hard and i worked long hours and i built a great practice. building the clinic by myself while going through a divorce and still working the mobile practice and raising the monchers on my own. and finally putting the time and effort into getting the body that i have always wanted. i would not fail! pride! determination to succeed!
in the gym, i have goals. they change constantly. there are a few that are consistant, like i want to pull 350# on deads and i want to bench 185# if not 200#. but the rest change depending on how im feeling and what is happening around me. what drives me today is the same thing that drove me when i first started, all of you and my pride in trying to not let any of you down. in the grand scheme of things does it really matter? when i leave here will anyone care? probably not but until then i never want anyone to think, damn, she has been at this for 2 years and there is nothing different! my pride wont allow that to happen! i will not take the easy road, i will not fail!
Why do you do it?
earlier today a friend had sent me a message that my comment in her log had discouraged her. she knew it was meant for fun but to her it made her wonder why she was doing this. now dont get me wrong, i dont randomly give people a hard time (ok, i do), but i have followed 2 of her other logs and they are usually full of energy and full of enthusiasm and this current log is down and depressing, so completely different from who she is! so given my blunt nature, i commented on the lack of workouts and it hurt her feelings. for that i apologize. it was not my intent nor my desire to do such a thing. but the whole exchange got me to thinking, why? why am i still doing this with the same level of enthusiasm as when i started 2 years ago? what is it that makes me keep at it and keep a decent attitude even when i dont feel like it? how does one maintain even when they dont want to?
the honest answer, pride! it sounds horrible given as much as i have written on how bad pride is
but it is the truth. i am not willing to stop or to fail or to give up or to accept less then the best from myself because i am a prideful person! that is why i take and post new pics almost every day. i want to force myself to constantly do better and look better than the day before! it is what has driven me the past 2 years. 2 years of ups and downs, gains and plateaus, leanness and fatness. i would not allow myself to let all of you down! my pride would not allow me to stop giving my all even though atleast half the time i didnt want to be in the gym and 99% of the time my joints hurt and im tired or exhausted and it isnt fun being in the gym. my whole life i have been driven to succeed in whatever it is i set out to do, as long as somebody else knew about it, i wanted to make sure that i acheived it. getting into vet school after only 3 years of undergrad. i said i wanted to do that and it wasnt easy but i worked hard and brought my grades up and i took 24 credits a semester and i did it. making it through vet school while working 30-40 hours a week. wasnt easy, my grades sucked most of the time but i wouldnt, coudnt, fail! starting a mobile large animal practice, starting from nothing. i worked hard and i worked long hours and i built a great practice. building the clinic by myself while going through a divorce and still working the mobile practice and raising the monchers on my own. and finally putting the time and effort into getting the body that i have always wanted. i would not fail! pride! determination to succeed!
in the gym, i have goals. they change constantly. there are a few that are consistant, like i want to pull 350# on deads and i want to bench 185# if not 200#. but the rest change depending on how im feeling and what is happening around me. what drives me today is the same thing that drove me when i first started, all of you and my pride in trying to not let any of you down.
in the grand scheme of things does it really matter? when i leave here will anyone care? probably not but until then i never want anyone to think, damn, she has been at this for 2 years and there is nothing different! my pride wont allow that to happen! i will not take the easy road, i will not fail! Why do you do it?
