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What they really mean"

hugerobb

hugerobb

VIP Strength Advisor
Sep 15, 2010
2,027
56
#1
In the gym...

1) Can you give me a spot on the bench, buddy?

Can you come over here and upright row 50% of this weight for me in order to inflate my fragile ego?

2) It's all you, man!

If I lift most of the weight while spotting you, will you do the same for me? And do you think that girl over there is watching us?

3) I don't want to get too big.

I'm a total newbie who has no idea what it actually takes to get "too" big.

4) My new year's resolution is to lose a little weight.

You won't see me here after February.

5) I'm thinking of buying a Bowflex.

I could use a new coat rack.

6) I'm thinking of getting that gastric bypass surgery to lose weight.

I don't have enough discipline to become anorexic on my own, so I was thinking of having it surgically induced.

7) Dude, is that all you can bench press?

I'm fat and women won't talk to me, but dammit, I'm stronger than you!

8) Throw another sixteen plates on the leg press!

Instead of doing half-reps, I'm going to now demonstrate quarter reps.

9) AAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!

May I have your attention please. I will now curl/power clean this barbell. Aren't you all impressed?

10) Um, sir, you can't deadlift in this gym.

You're scaring the housewives and making me feel inadequate. Please stop lifting heavy weights.

11) We offer personalized training for a small fee.

For a huge wad of cash, one of the college kids who works here will lead you around to different machines following the exact same program we put everyone else on. As a bonus, he will talk about his annoying roommate and what he watched on TV last night. Sometimes he will offer professional fitness tips like "good job" and "now let's do this machine."
 
goldy

goldy

Chutzpah VIP
Jan 17, 2011
1,263
153
#9
8) Throw another sixteen plates on the leg press!

Instead of doing half-reps, I'm going to now demonstrate quarter reps.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
Lizard King

Lizard King

Administrator
Staff Member
Sep 9, 2010
11,588
3,412
#10
I HATE THE #1 guy!! I will no longer spot someone unless I think they can come close to pushing it.
 
JackD

JackD

Senior Moderators
Staff Member
Sep 16, 2010
5,066
537
#11
LOL.... I needed that laugh this morning, Those are pretty much 100% true.

LOL.... still every gym has one of these too, and this little punk always pisses me off, you know who I'm talking about, the 5'1 napoleon complex guy with the my shit doesn't stink attitude, is bigger and stronger than anyone in the gym, and is better than everyone else.... Yeah the little shit that some day I'm just going to squash because I can. :) I wonder wtf was going through his mind last night when I was curling 70lb dumbbells for the same reps he got with 25's??

Actually that guy is #1 all the way
 
Last edited:
cyto33

cyto33

MuscleHead
Sep 15, 2010
346
2
#12
sooooo true. this happens all the time.
had a guy the other day ask for a lift. he was looking a round for about 10mins for some one. he seen me doing deads and ask hey bro can i get a lift? sure what do you need? he lays on a flat bench and asked me to pass him the 100lb DB so he can press them. you want a spot i ask nope i'm good with a painful groan. next thing the weights fall and his arms almost rip off.
dumb fuck. lol
 
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