I hardly ever drink coffee these days. However, I do add instant Great Value to my protein drink that i drink every morning. Add it in the night prior so the flavor melds together. Also add it into my Greek yogurt for my 3rd meal/pre-w/o meal.
I'll admit though, I don't drink it enough to down it black. I'm your typical gay douche where I have to add some creamer and Splenda to it
Back in high school and a few years afterward, we'd all drop into this local diner to eat and drink coffee. One day my buddy and I went there to drink some coffee before we went on our typical nightly drive listening to some George Straight and butthugger jean music. Anyway, we start drinking a few cups and decided to see who could drink the most before we left. We were there a good hour or two just downing coffee. What ensued was nothing short of pure pain and in my buddy's case, embarassment, lol!
I started out quick downing it easy, while he used a turtle steady pace. I started to die-out toward the end and he caught up with me and we tied somewhere in the mid-upper 20's. One of the hottest girls we went to school with was our waitress, and she was laughing at us...ahem....with us....as we kept ordering cup after cup. We even had a small fanbase at some of the tables next to us, mostly families and old people, lol. Anyway, right at the end my buddy farts and totally shits his pants. I was like no way in hell am I gonna be involved with the embarrassment of this girl walking over and knowing about his pants being full of shit. BUT...I was laughing so hard as he had sweat rolling off his forehead. He was like, "what are we gonna do?" Right at that time, she comes and drops us off the bill and leans over to give me a hug. She goes to hug him and the look on his face was so effin' classic, I can't put into words how funny it was, but I was laughing so damn hard. She still had no clue. Anyway, she walked off, and I handed him the bill to go pay, and walked out to the car like the dick-ass friend I am....Hahaha!!!
He ran over to the register and handed the lady money, more like threw it down, and told her to just keep the change and gimply ran out. I could see him inside the diner from out of the car and it was so funny. He took 2 steps out the door and a line of shit started to run down his leg
Thankfully he was driving in his car. He wrapped his leg up with his sweater or something before sitting down. He dropped me off before going back to his house. We never went out and both of us were on the throne all effin' night and calling each other all night after each shit to wake the other up on purpose.
Anyway...my favorite coffee story ever, I probably gave it no justice, but I tried. That night sucked, total bowel pain just blowing up the toilet.
Carry on....
