Tough Love

[silntrunin]

One of the toughest things I've ever had to do, was give my son 30 days to get out of our house.

It was way overdue but I just couldn't get myself to do it. Actually I probably should have told him to get out now but I just can't throw my son out on the streets. He's 20 and he should be able to take care of himself but I'm not so sure he can, especially if he has nowhere to stay.

Everyone tells me "just throw him out" but its a hard thing for a me to do, so I gave him some time to either check himself into rehab or get out. I'm hoping he makes the right choice but he doesn't have a good track record as far as making good decisions for himself. If after 30 days I have to throw him out, then at least I will be able to live with myself knowing that I gave him a choice.

Right or wrong I'm really not sure anymore. But what I do know is that just doing the same thing and expecting different results is insanity. Hopefully I made the right decision. [-O<

 

[PillarofBalance]

Very sorry to hear. Every family from those in the worst ghetto to the most affluent suburbs are dealing with this problem. My Mother and Father struggled for years to figure out what to do with my youngest brother. His addictions were destroying the family. We simply got lucky and after multiple stays in county, he just sort of woke up. A moment of clarity I guess its called.

Hopefully this will be his rock bottom and he'll turn around. Best wishes to your family brother.

 

[Divorce]

So if he goes to rehab he can stay?

 

[slicwilly2000]

Our family had to do the same thing with both of my brothers. One of them got help and is doing much better. The other no one has spoken to in 6 months and we have no idea where he is.

Slic.

 

[Rottenrogue]

I fear my youngest son is going to be like this. He is 15 and has no drive to get his drivers license .He thinks I am going to hand him a job over the summer.I asked him if I gave him a job would he save for a car and he said probably not.
He just has no ambition .Hell at his age I was chomping at the bit for a car .I had a job at 14 .
I feel your pain though.He is still your son .

 

[silntrunin]

So if he goes to rehab he can stay?

NO, the deal is he has to be enrolled in a inpatient program for full treatment, not just detox.

Very sorry to hear. Every family from those in the worst ghetto to the most affluent suburbs are dealing with this problem. My Mother and Father struggled for years to figure out what to do with my youngest brother. His addictions were destroying the family. We simply got lucky and after multiple stays in county, he just sort of woke up. A moment of clarity I guess its called.

Hopefully this will be his rock bottom and he'll turn around. Best wishes to your family brother.

Thanks bro, I know we are not the only ones dealing with this problem, unfortunately its a fuckin epidemic around here. My heart goes out to all that are dealing with this problem.

Our family had to do the same thing with both of my brothers. One of them got help and is doing much better. The other no one has spoken to in 6 months and we have no idea where he is.

Slic.

I have an older brother like that. Sad thing is he's almost 60 and he still hasn't hit rock bottom.

I fear my youngest son is going to be like this. He is 15 and has no drive to get his drivers license .He thinks I am going to hand him a job over the summer.I asked him if I gave him a job would he save for a car and he said probably not.
He just has no ambition .Hell at his age I was chomping at the bit for a car .I had a job at 14 .
I feel your pain though.He is still your son .

My son started out exactly like that. He didn't get a license until he was 18 and he has absolutely no motivation to do anything at all but part of that is the drugs.

Hell, when I was young i couldn't wait to get my license.

Thanks for all the support everyone.

 

[JackD]

Honestly, change how you approach the subject, instead of telling him he needs to go, just set up rehab and drop him off, or tell him the police are coming for him if he doesn't go. He is young and doesn't understand what he has, but if everything is all taken away, then what does he have left.

These have to be the darkest days in a persons life when it comes to family, but if my son ever went down that path, he'd know I would never turn my back on him, but I would push him every step of the way till he was clean and on the right path. Not sure what your situation is, but pray to God, and let him lead you to the right direction.

 

[AllTheWay]

good luck with everything! children break a persons heart more than any other person can! i will be praying that he makes some good choices and can get some help and that you can stand by your proposal and get the desired results!

 

[silntrunin]

Honestly, change how you approach the subject, instead of telling him he needs to go, just set up rehab and drop him off, or tell him the police are coming for him if he doesn't go. He is young and doesn't understand what he has, but if everything is all taken away, then what does he have left.

These have to be the darkest days in a persons life when it comes to family, but if my son ever went down that path, he'd know I would never turn my back on him, but I would push him every step of the way till he was clean and on the right path. Not sure what your situation is, but pray to God, and let him lead you to the right direction.

I wish it was that easy bro. In this state because of his age he has to admit himself into rehab, I can't admit him or I would.

I haven't turned my back on him, he's my son and always will be regardless what he does and I will always be there for him. I have told him that many many times. But I can't sit here and and just let him waste his life away or rob us blind to support his habit. So in essence i am taking everything away from him by making him admit himself into rehab or get out until he can stay clean.

My wife and I have tried pushing him in the right direction but when your an addict you don't listen to reason. Pushing him wasn't getting anywhere. Hence why I said doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is insanity. Getting clean is something he will have to do because he wants to be clean not because I want him to be. Otherwise he will probably just go back down that road again. Trust me, I've gone through all this before with my daughter so I have learned a little, but having been through this before doesn't take away the pain of watching my son go through it also.

My son means the world to me, I would never ever turn my back on him.

Thank you for your prayers ATW