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The Universal Gym Members....Add yours.

klbsa

klbsa

Member
Jan 5, 2011
92
19
#1
Every gym has what would seem to be the same people in a way. I have been a member and worked at countless gyms. They all have these same members:

The Hair Man: Every fitness center has one of these. Usualy miiddle aged and sporting workout clothes that are perfectly suited for his 1985 blow dryed hair. Its obvious that this guy really loves spending hours a day with a brush in one hand and a blow dryer in the other.

The Fat chick that thinks she is in shape: It never fails and usualy you will see more than one. You know her... The chick that weighs about 180 and wears shorts that show off her muffin top, disgusting thighs and swollen ankles.... It doesn't. Help that half the black guys in the gym are trying to hit it.... This keeps her illusion of self beauty alive.

The "Never shuts the fuck up guy": You like this guy because he is so friendly BUT you avoid him at all costs, otherwise you won't get a single set in.

The Ladies Man: Well HE thinks he is anyway. This guy is scanning the gym for women to hit on at all times and that's all he does. He is obviously very threatened by other men who are more handsome and/or built than he is and it shows by the unhappy look on his face when he sees one.

The hasn't come out of the closet yet gay guy: Usualy uses some kind of cover like religion or marriage, but once he utters a word he isn't fooling anyone.

The gym slut: We know she is a pig but hey.... We can't help but to jerk off to the thought of her once in a while.

The locker room nudist: Fat, hairy and always cruising the locker room with his 2 inch dick swinging in the open air. It would seem that he never figured out that he could use his towel to cover himself rather than throw it over his shoulder both before and after his shower.

The Crypt Keeper: This woman is actualy 20 years younger than she looks but 25 years of the tanning bed combined with years of near starvation have turned her into what she is today.

The Half Rep Crew: These guys come in all shapes and sizes and none of them have figured out the wonders of a full range of motion during a workout...... and it shows. But they get to use twice as much weight as they could otherwise so it all works out for them in the end.

The senior: He's 82, with his button down dress shirt tucked into his dress slacks and his 20 year old sneakers on. But you say to your self "good for him" because he is working out anyway.
 
T

TriCity

Guest
#2
The beefcakes: The people who are moderately big but walk around like they are as wide as a barn door and egos bigger than anyone should ever be allowed to have.
 
Lizard King

Lizard King

Administrator
Staff Member
Sep 9, 2010
11,472
3,264
#3
I will actually change body parts if the "Never shuts the fuck up guy" is working out what I was planning on doing that day. Never want to cross paths or possibly have him "work in" on anything I am doing!
 
klbsa

klbsa

Member
Jan 5, 2011
92
19
#4
The beefcakes: The people who are moderately big but walk around like they are as wide as a barn door and egos bigger than anyone should ever be allowed to have.
They tend to be the guys who like to walk around trying to correct other people's form too.
 
RedNeck

RedNeck

MuscleHead
Dec 30, 2010
2,337
353
#5
theh 80s gym rat- wears his sleeveless cutoff sweatshirt and cutoff sweat pant. sporting the do rag and occasional fannypack. Always talking bout how gyms use to be and the years of experiance they have. but yet has probaly been the same size sincethe 80s and will never progress.
 
klbsa

klbsa

Member
Jan 5, 2011
92
19
#6
The Walker:
They buy a gym membership, and pay a monthly fee to do nothing but walk on a treadmill. No weights, not even a change to the elliptical machine. They do what they could be doing for free.... Walking. Consequently they look the same or maybe even worse than they did 5 years ago when they started.

The "Never puts his weights away" Dickhead:
We are all guilty of doing this once in a while but this guy does it EVERY TIME. Because of this dickhead the females in the gym get borderline hernias removing 45 lb plates from everything in the free weight area.
 
chicken_hawk

chicken_hawk

MuscleHead
Oct 28, 2010
718
146
#7
I think you have it all covered LOL. I have a few nick names for people like, "Stick Tits" 36dd on a pair of skinny legs (so thin she never wears shorts, "Oldie lox" he is a slick 50+ married guy always talkin about puntang, "Oscar" the grouch a miserable weakling, "Biceps Guy" nuff said. If I remember more I will post em up.

Hawk
 
JackD

JackD

Senior Moderators
Staff Member
Sep 16, 2010
5,023
517
#8
I will actually change body parts if the "Never shuts the fuck up guy" is working out what I was planning on doing that day. Never want to cross paths or possibly have him "work in" on anything I am doing!
We have a loser like that at the gym, and why these fuckers decide to follow and try to talk to me always pisses me off, eventually he quit because he said everyone was being mean to him, but shit, I learned my lesson, head phones stay on, and I don't acknowledge anyone, unless I know them personally.
 
fixxer

fixxer

MuscleHead
Dec 15, 2010
993
162
#9
We have a loser like that at the gym, and why these fuckers decide to follow and try to talk to me always pisses me off, eventually he quit because he said everyone was being mean to him, but shit, I learned my lesson, head phones stay on, and I don't acknowledge anyone, unless I know them personally.
Don't you almost find it offensive that some little homo fag thinks he can just follow you around and interrupt your workout? I find it offensive so one time I asked one of them "aren't you scared of me?"
 
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LITTLEMAGS

LITTLEMAGS

VIP Member
Nov 1, 2010
316
103
#10
those are great! WE have a few of those guys and girls in there too...funny stuff
 
midevil

midevil

TID Board Of Directors
Jan 20, 2011
848
198
#11
YOLANDA GUMP is a black girl that's on the treadmill when I get to the gym...and is still there an hour and a half later when I leave. right next to her is the STINKY WET DOOD that runs till he's sweat from head to toe...and then trains .. leaving pools of sweat on all the benches and machines. Then there's the gay old guy I call THE PACKAGE DOOD...because he wears spandex and his bulge is showing...can't help but to look..and it's small. He's been caught red handed chatting in whispers with other geighs in the locker room...once he was so excited that I was changing in the same cubicle... he started a conversation with me and droped his pants...I turned away and though I was gonna puke...somebody get that homo some clippers...
 
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cyto33

cyto33

MuscleHead
Sep 15, 2010
346
2
#12
the i smell like shit guy:
this is the guy that dont know what deoderant is. you walk past him and gag. the stink that comes off this guy isn't just BO but it is infused into anything he touches.
 
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