D
deadweight
MuscleHead
- Sep 20, 2010
- 2,293
- 498
THE ROOT.
Let me say..U can lie to those around u and the life u live........But i call it like i know it...I know its a sickness.And i tell u i have NO answers...But instead of focusing on any of u.Allow me to take the front sit...I will put myself on display....After all..I know better.My insecurities go way back as a child.The biggest problem today is that i never addrest them up front.How was i to know that there would any consequences?...Instead of treating the root of the matter i just put on this mask to cover the pain i suffered...When your young at heart u dont realize things in the metal state of mind...Most younger people dont understand how to addrest certain problems...So they hide them deep inside...This is where it all began for me....The fake mask i wear and the life i have built and the body i have built is all fake....I did it for all the wrong reasons...I just didnt wake up one day and say.Hey...i want to be some freak of muscles palying a dart game with anabolics...Something inside me clicked ...Something inside me decided i needed to build this body to be accepted...And for what reasons,,,i just dont know?One thing i do know..i surely didnt like myself for some reason so i had to change what i seen in the mirror.
THE MASK
So here am....Broken down,,,,Muscle bond...and freaky to most...The mask i wear has controlled my life....Ive buried the real me a long time ago.....I dont know who the hell i really am..Everything that i have hid from myself and all the problems i have had has been dead along time....Wearing this mask everyday it becomes so real.....U dont realize it....I just pump iron for that quick fix...Years and years of this same routine.I have sink so deep....Ive taken this sport to extream measures....More then most i think...All i see what i think to be real...But its not good enough...So,i line up the darts..vial after vial i wash it all down.....Just one more injection....i will get bigger.Just one one lift i will be get bigger.......Just one more time....Its never good enough.I can be a million strong...It will never be good enough...The mask wont allow me to reach happiness within myself....No matter what i do....im blined.......and its just to late for me....i have no thrill or want to change...Its got this hold on me that i just cant let go...what i do is what i do...Its become a way of life....but yet,deep down i know its all fake,,,i did all this muscle and glory stuff for the wrong reasons..and it all leads back to one...Back as a young boy.
THE DEMONS
Emotional demons are very powerful...They are something u cant see...They most the time live inside parts of your insecurities that are broken more or less...They cause u to buried the problems your dealing with...Just as i explained above....They take control over u...They help u find outlets to a quick fix...Some people resort to drugs to cover they shortcomings...I have found out those type of people that use drugs for a quick fix they problems are not physical like most weightlifters..Their problems are more of a identity problem then the weightlifter that has a indentity problem with his body.Their problems are more mental then physical.Never the less its all emotional and demons of controll know how to controll the situation.They will take your last breath with you...Once they take controll that is it...They have planted that seed and no way u are anyone eles can uproot it...Its a seed that last forever...Just as well,u have demons of addictions too..They are most linked to both sides...the mental and physical.Because what it boils down to any quick fix is an addiction...You may feel what your doing is for the sake of helping yourself but if your lifting for all the wrong reasons then these same demons have controll of u and u dont even realize it.U yourself have been wearing a mask..U dont even know who the fuck u are..Dont be dammed.because your not alone.This cancer is bigger then meets the eye.
THE ANSWERS
If your looking for answers from a burnt out sterod junky that has gave his soul and life to this sport..Sorry i dont have no answers..But im not blined..I know my problems....And i see threw the glass houses of most people that have built.U see Many of us are the same breed.If u look and read the answers why most of us lift...Its all the same....Yes a bunch of lies on paper because most of us dont realize the root of the situation.One day i know i will walk away and leave all this behide....But for now..I contuine to wear this mask...Living the lie of my reality..Its all i want to know right now...I allow the demons to control me...Maybe one day the same demons i live for will turn right around and kill me....I realize this....I see no stoping the anabolic wars....I see no dead end......And i wont be the last to die in vain.Because we are millions.......Each day one of us is being transformed....Like i said..it spreads like cancer.We are a dime a dozen.
HOPE FOR THE YOUNG.
There is hope...Let me tell u im not strong on hope but there is....You the young breed in this sport.Your still young.Uhave your whole life....You must realize now what your insecurities are..face them dead on...Take off the mask now before its all u see for yourself.If anyone can beat this addiction u can..Find the real u and start to lift for the right reasons...Dont become some beat down steroid junky...Selling your soul for the sake to please others..If u dont like what u see in the mirror...fix it with your mental aspect not a quick fix to change it by muscle and glory..If u care more about how people view u then yourself..Your headed to hell and that road passes quick..Before long u will be like me....the fake u.
MY DEMAND
So im a slave to my on demons...I want no help..I dont want your THINK u know the answers.Because u have none...I didnt write this to be questioned..I didnt write this for help...I know whats up....I wrote this in attemp to wake the young up..maybe something i might write will touch base with someone before u live your whole life a lie.So one day u can know the real u before all u know is the fake u...
deadweight.
Let me say..U can lie to those around u and the life u live........But i call it like i know it...I know its a sickness.And i tell u i have NO answers...But instead of focusing on any of u.Allow me to take the front sit...I will put myself on display....After all..I know better.My insecurities go way back as a child.The biggest problem today is that i never addrest them up front.How was i to know that there would any consequences?...Instead of treating the root of the matter i just put on this mask to cover the pain i suffered...When your young at heart u dont realize things in the metal state of mind...Most younger people dont understand how to addrest certain problems...So they hide them deep inside...This is where it all began for me....The fake mask i wear and the life i have built and the body i have built is all fake....I did it for all the wrong reasons...I just didnt wake up one day and say.Hey...i want to be some freak of muscles palying a dart game with anabolics...Something inside me clicked ...Something inside me decided i needed to build this body to be accepted...And for what reasons,,,i just dont know?One thing i do know..i surely didnt like myself for some reason so i had to change what i seen in the mirror.
THE MASK
So here am....Broken down,,,,Muscle bond...and freaky to most...The mask i wear has controlled my life....Ive buried the real me a long time ago.....I dont know who the hell i really am..Everything that i have hid from myself and all the problems i have had has been dead along time....Wearing this mask everyday it becomes so real.....U dont realize it....I just pump iron for that quick fix...Years and years of this same routine.I have sink so deep....Ive taken this sport to extream measures....More then most i think...All i see what i think to be real...But its not good enough...So,i line up the darts..vial after vial i wash it all down.....Just one more injection....i will get bigger.Just one one lift i will be get bigger.......Just one more time....Its never good enough.I can be a million strong...It will never be good enough...The mask wont allow me to reach happiness within myself....No matter what i do....im blined.......and its just to late for me....i have no thrill or want to change...Its got this hold on me that i just cant let go...what i do is what i do...Its become a way of life....but yet,deep down i know its all fake,,,i did all this muscle and glory stuff for the wrong reasons..and it all leads back to one...Back as a young boy.
THE DEMONS
Emotional demons are very powerful...They are something u cant see...They most the time live inside parts of your insecurities that are broken more or less...They cause u to buried the problems your dealing with...Just as i explained above....They take control over u...They help u find outlets to a quick fix...Some people resort to drugs to cover they shortcomings...I have found out those type of people that use drugs for a quick fix they problems are not physical like most weightlifters..Their problems are more of a identity problem then the weightlifter that has a indentity problem with his body.Their problems are more mental then physical.Never the less its all emotional and demons of controll know how to controll the situation.They will take your last breath with you...Once they take controll that is it...They have planted that seed and no way u are anyone eles can uproot it...Its a seed that last forever...Just as well,u have demons of addictions too..They are most linked to both sides...the mental and physical.Because what it boils down to any quick fix is an addiction...You may feel what your doing is for the sake of helping yourself but if your lifting for all the wrong reasons then these same demons have controll of u and u dont even realize it.U yourself have been wearing a mask..U dont even know who the fuck u are..Dont be dammed.because your not alone.This cancer is bigger then meets the eye.
THE ANSWERS
If your looking for answers from a burnt out sterod junky that has gave his soul and life to this sport..Sorry i dont have no answers..But im not blined..I know my problems....And i see threw the glass houses of most people that have built.U see Many of us are the same breed.If u look and read the answers why most of us lift...Its all the same....Yes a bunch of lies on paper because most of us dont realize the root of the situation.One day i know i will walk away and leave all this behide....But for now..I contuine to wear this mask...Living the lie of my reality..Its all i want to know right now...I allow the demons to control me...Maybe one day the same demons i live for will turn right around and kill me....I realize this....I see no stoping the anabolic wars....I see no dead end......And i wont be the last to die in vain.Because we are millions.......Each day one of us is being transformed....Like i said..it spreads like cancer.We are a dime a dozen.
HOPE FOR THE YOUNG.
There is hope...Let me tell u im not strong on hope but there is....You the young breed in this sport.Your still young.Uhave your whole life....You must realize now what your insecurities are..face them dead on...Take off the mask now before its all u see for yourself.If anyone can beat this addiction u can..Find the real u and start to lift for the right reasons...Dont become some beat down steroid junky...Selling your soul for the sake to please others..If u dont like what u see in the mirror...fix it with your mental aspect not a quick fix to change it by muscle and glory..If u care more about how people view u then yourself..Your headed to hell and that road passes quick..Before long u will be like me....the fake u.
MY DEMAND
So im a slave to my on demons...I want no help..I dont want your THINK u know the answers.Because u have none...I didnt write this to be questioned..I didnt write this for help...I know whats up....I wrote this in attemp to wake the young up..maybe something i might write will touch base with someone before u live your whole life a lie.So one day u can know the real u before all u know is the fake u...
deadweight.