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Something too make you chuckle/20Reasons why New Years Diet Resolutions fail

hugerobb

hugerobb

VIP Strength Advisor
Sep 15, 2010
2,027
56
#1
20. I wasn't getting enough to eat on ONE diet so I had to go on THREE.

19. Its winter and I need the extra insulation to keep me warm.

18. I went to the gym and somebody was using the machine I wanted
(the hand dryer in the bathroom) so I realized everything happens
for a reason and it wasn't meant to be so I left.

17. I went to the gym and there was no lifeguard on duty in case
the rowing machine sank. I complained to the manager but they
threw me out.

16. Turns out I didn't really mean it.

15. My other resolution to quit being a cranky jerk all the time
wasn't compatible with low-carb dieting.

14. There was a big game on...Wheel of Fortune is a game, right?

13. My DVR remote broke so I couldn't fast-forward past all the
food commercials...and getting up to change the channel is just
WAY too much effort.

12. I figured since rice cakes don't have many calories, the same
was true of other cakes. Like fudge cake. And pancakes. With
syrup. And fudge.

11. My personal trainer called and said if I didn't show up for
my session on Friday, don't bother showing up on Monday. Woohoo!
4 day weekend!

10. No ashtrays on the treadmills at the gym. How do they expect
me stay on that thing for an hour without a cigarette break? It's
not like that little TV can keep my mind off how painful and
boring it is to shuffle on that thing at 1.2 mph for 60 minutes.

9. Krispy Kreme crack donuts...

8. Apparently when you buy an ab machine on an infomerical, you
have to actually USE it to get results...and using it for hanging
clothes on doesn't seem to count.

7. The economy is in such rough shape, it's hard to afford the
new clothes I'll have to buy as I get smaller so it'll have to
wait until I get a bailout.

6. I have to buy junk foods "for the kids" even though they don't
really need that stuff either and I don't actually HAVE any kids
or KNOW any kids (this also works if your fat rolls have been
nicknamed "the kids").

5. I messed up and ate a potato chip on Day 2 so I gave up until
next January's resolution season.

4. I need to get in better shape before I can join a gym...to get
in better shape.

3. I made a resolution to give up drinking so I could lose weight
but I did it while I was drunk so I forgot.

2. I don't want to insult my co-workers by not eating birthday
cake at the office every single day, even when I have to bring it
myself.

1. I'm waiting for President Obama to lose the weight for me but
the Republicans won't let him.
 
JackD

JackD

Senior Moderators
Staff Member
Sep 16, 2010
4,989
504
#3
Dude, that is awesome...lol....I hear the Fiance say #4 all the time....My response is always wtf???? Isn't that the whole point of going to the gym in the First place.....lol
 
Last edited:
slicwilly2000

slicwilly2000

VIP Member
Sep 14, 2010
1,730
166
#4
So you're saying fudge cake and pancakes with syrup and fudge have more calories than rice cakes?

Slic.
 
Get Some

Get Some

MuscleHead
Sep 9, 2010
3,441
640
#5
wow, pancakes with syrup and fudge sounds really good right now! (that's just my stomach talking, it's pissed at me for only giving it 1,800 - 2,000 cals a day)
 
JackD

JackD

Senior Moderators
Staff Member
Sep 16, 2010
4,989
504
#6
wow, pancakes with syrup and fudge sounds really good right now! (that's just my stomach talking, it's pissed at me for only giving it 1,800 - 2,000 cals a day)
Mine would not only be pissed at me if I fed him that much, he then in turn would destroy me by eating all my valuable muscle tissue....lol
 
rocco-x

rocco-x

MuscleHead
Sep 16, 2010
398
15
#7
cause i'm a lazy fuck,lol,but now i'm gonna try and do the gallon of milk a day thing along with my cheesecake.ate a whole one on sunday and almost a full gallon.the girl wasn't too happy.told her to stock up on toilet paper this winter.if i don't hit 225-230 i'm hangin up.plain and simple.
 
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