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Personal Trainer Dilemma

BovaJP

BovaJP

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Feb 15, 2013
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Sort of...lol.

So I have had a personal trainer (female) for approx 4-5 yrs now. Love her to death, she has taught me much, etc. She knows me and my body and she is cautious even with my shoulder. She is a female, but has more masculine traits. She is not bulldykeish at all, just doesn't dress feminine or wear any makeup, has short hair. Hard to describe.
Anyway.....
I've had a male coach that is also a personal trainer at my same gym. Matter of fact, the last show i did in apr 2018, both my personal trainer and I were coached by this same person. She works out with him, but i didn't I had her as a personal trainer.

I've observed him training many people and always thought his dance card was full and I had her as a personal trainer and thought i was doing well with her. My hubs actually had him as a personal trainer.

Then the covid shit hit. About a month or so into covid, my hubs got word that this personal trainer was still training ppl, just keeping it on the downlow and to a very few select (mostly ppl who will keep their mouths shut lol). Hubs didn't take him up on the offer but asked that personal trainer if he could train me. He said yes. So i started to train with him and have been now for about 6-8 weeks or so. 2 x's/week with this male trainer.

Now I know this male personal trainer, because he is also my coach. But he has never trained me. So he doesn't know my body, etc. The first few times I was with him, and he knows about my shoulder and he knows that EVERYTIME i do upper body i warm up for about 15-20 mins. Well i warm up legs too, but i have a routine for my upper body. I had informed him that was I leary about some movements with my shoulder.
He has since taught me how to bench (perhaps properly), and it was the first time in my life that we put 2/35# on the bar. I couldn't believe i was pressing that. and with no affect on my shoulder. Believe me, if my shoulder has the slightest twinge, I STOP.
My first leg day with him (he is famous in our gym for his leg days lol), I was sore all around, not just in one area of my glutes or hammies or quads. When I do leg day with him, he has taught me how to do the movements to max out the effort to get the max benefit and to grow. Now, we are not going heavy, nor does he push heavy shit. He is not an ego lifter and I am good with that. I would rather do GREAT form, than push around #'s just to push around #'s. I am in it for the long haul lol.
He is a stickler for form and is correcting me where needed and adjusting for my body and me.

Now the female trainer did that as well.

But here is the deal...right now, for last week and this week (gym has fully opened and she is back), i am training with them both. They are both good with that. So i am with her 2 x's/week and him 2x's/week and once on my own.

I feel like I am at a cross roads and need to perhaps pick one and stick with them. When I was with the male trainer i always felt like i was cheating on the female lol. kinda like going to another hairdresser than your usual, etc. Silly i know. But i have a connection with the female and she has taught me a lot.

But I think i need a change in my training and I think this male is bringing me a good change. Perhaps with the female we have become sort of dormant or in a rut so to speak. Maybe that is my fault for not pushing to go more, but then that is what a trainer is there for. To push you.

My hubs thinks that the male trainer is pushing me much farther than what the female has been. In a good way though, not a bad way lol. I think he thinks i should stick with the male one. Perhaps he is right, that i do need a change in this area. Sometimes you do. And you know what, i can always go back to her.

My male trainer was talking with some folks the other day about how female clients prefer male trainers and how male clients prefer male trainers or something like that. With me, i don't care what sex you are....what i care about is how you train and push me with GOOD form. I want someone there to watch my form and make corrections where needed. And to also push me to go heavier, where appropriate of course.

It seems that this male trainer would know how i feel after a set, and that my female trainer would ask me after "how did that feel?".

I don't know. Obviously thinking way too much about this. I just would feel bad if i quit with the female. But I think i need a change....and perhaps now is a good time....

Oh boy, i wrote a book lol.
 
DungeonDweller

DungeonDweller

VIP Member
Mar 21, 2017
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Gotta leave the emotion out of it and go what's best for your development. I'm sure the female trainer would understand, especially since he is her trainer too.
 
HDH

HDH

TID Board Of Directors
Sep 30, 2011
3,386
2,812
You already know the answer :)

Good luck. I would feel the same way, I'm pretty loyal.
 
Darkness

Darkness

VIP Member
May 7, 2011
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I have found that the more people that I learn from, the more I know. I seldom train with a trainer, so the sessions I prescribe for myself come from the strengths of all of the trainers, docs, random people, etc. who have taught me something over the last 17 years. Clearly, if getting to the next level is important to you, and the male has given a map to get there.... question answered. I had to get a bit humble and employ a trainer in the last few months, and BAM I am at the next level.
 
Tomas Payne

Tomas Payne

VIP Member
Jul 29, 2014
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I change trainers like a change my training; just depends on my goals and their specialty.
 
K

Kiebler01

New Member
Aug 2, 2015
4
1
I think what is making this decision process difficult for you is your loyalty to your female trainer, as you have described you have been with her for some years, she knows your body and has helped you a lot. With the exposure to a different trainer you are noticing some good changes in how you and your body reacts, that is a good thing :) If the trainer is good, and good for you and your development/progress, I don't think whether they are female or male is that critical in the overall scheme of things and what you are working so hard at doing.
Your loyalty is commendable and is a good trait to have, but just remember that you have a trainer to help further you in your quest, don't lose focus. If the male trainer is affecting real change and you are comfortable with him and the progress he is putting you through, by all means change over. I would be surprised if your female trainer did not understand how you feel, may further help if you discuss this with her, I suspect she will appreciate your loyalty while at the same time encouraging you to make a change and train strictly with him. Who knows she may suggest keeping an option open you can always come back to her if you find training with the male trainer over time is not working out as well as you originally felt.
Food for thought :)
 
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