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Other gym member's behavior???

GiantSlayer

GiantSlayer

VIP Member
Jan 27, 2013
2,402
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I'm the kind of guy that says if you can't explain to me why you don't have enough money to feed your kids, then your not getting shit. 'Cause I don't want to see a single bottle of alcohol or a cell phone or a cable bill in your ****ing house before I pay for your groceries.
 
nousername

nousername

Member
Mar 30, 2014
55
2
Soooo basically you let him feel you up from head to toe? I mean seriously, I don't get it? If you didn't want to be bothered or touched wouldn't you have left after the first touching occurred? Yet you continued to converse with him until enough time transpired that he was actually showing you exercises and had an opportunity to feel all over you? Give me a break.
So I just went back and read my OP, wondering where People were getting that I was just laughing it and enjoying myself. I really don't see where u all are getting that. But Tommy.l.. Is right in that I didn't post it in ToolBags R US subforum
 
nousername

nousername

Member
Mar 30, 2014
55
2
Some guys are really one track mind with girls.. you have to draw the line very clearly .. how about you tell him you only like black guys ..
Lmao! That prob would hav def done the trick. Hims one of dem Good Ole Boys down here in Southern Arkansas
 
GiantSlayer

GiantSlayer

VIP Member
Jan 27, 2013
2,402
723
Were you afraid you would get physically harmed if you insulted him?
 
nousername

nousername

Member
Mar 30, 2014
55
2
Please take this advise for what its worth,,,,but if you want to be taken seriously you Must conduct yourself in a serious manner. So using ANY humor At All is not going to get your point across, if you decide to confront him about it. If you decide to just avoid him, then completely ignore and avoid him completely. if he comes to you thinking everything is honky dory, just walk away. Also, please speak to your gym manager/owner and explain the incident that occurred, they may have video footage. Also, make sure they Document it, because this may not have been the first time this has happened with this guy but you definitely want to make it his last. Retired Cop or not, no police officer in their right mind is going to broom a potential sexual assault/contact. Keep this in mind if you decide to take this to the next step. I wish you well.
Have thought on these things to be sure. And there definitely should b footage. I do plan to talk to the asst mngr. she has not been there last few days. Just so there is some documentation.
I just meant that I would use just enough humor as to not anger or humiliate anybody.
"If we step on the toes of our fellows they will retaliate".
It is hard for me to stand up for myself but I also value my gym and my training much more than any fear of standing up for myself
 
nousername

nousername

Member
Mar 30, 2014
55
2
This was allowed to go WAY too far. He managed to touch you almost everywhere and you didn't stop it? Then you followed him out of camera range? I assume he didn't man handle you? Were you afraid for your life? It really sounds to me like you were feeling out the situation deciding if you were going to play along, then you decided not to. The only case where this makes sense is if you were afraid of insulting him and getting physically harmed. Is that the case? Did you give him any clue that his advances were unwanted?

Something sounds fishy about this and if I'm insulting anyone, I do apologize. I realize this is a serious matter but something is missing here.

This was allowed to go WAY too far. He managed to touch you almost everywhere and you didn't stop it? Then you followed him out of camera range? I assume he didn't man handle you? Were you afraid for your life? It really sounds to me like you were feeling out the situation deciding if you were going to play along, then you decided not to. The only case where this makes sense is if you were afraid of insulting him and getting physically harmed. Is that the case? Did you give him any clue that his advances were

Something sounds fishy about this and if I'm insulting anyone, I do apologize. I realize this is a serious matter but something is missing here.
unwanted? Listen..for the sake of not writing a thesis in my OP I summed up quite a bit. I'll say one more time that I didn't't follow him out of camera range. He moved into the restroom I stayed well outside in open gym area. This may b a very diff gym that what some of u r accustomed to. No locker rooms, towel racks.
And that's the thing IronSoul...It was so smooth that one min it was just str8 training advice and split sec. l8r it was questionable. Then it was back to training for few mins then questionable. No I wasn't afraid of being physically harmed.
Each time It went from str8 training to questionable I was polite and then moved to another machine. Then he would reengage me. Honestly when he grazed my abs like he was going to go lower I was thrown. All I could think to do was squirm out of the machine. I felt completely out of my element. That I've had to defend myself and reexplain myself so many times is quite disheartening. But I appreciate that u have at least asked for clarification and remained objective.
And I guess that's really why I even created the original post b/c I Really just wasn't sure about the way I perceived the incident. I always always always try to give others the benefit of the doubt. And I'm not a dude. I don't know what you all think or what you guys motives are.
The whole "you didn't tell him to stop, or y didn't u just leave" is shit! That implies that a dude can do whatever he wants until we're made Uncomfortable Enough to stop somebody or that we should forfeit our gym time and right to be there and to train.
I didn't lead him on. Yes of course I was afraid of insulting him. But more so I just wasn't sure if my perception was right. I had PWO Stims pumping thru me and I was out of my element. I hadn't eaten yet either. I just wasn't sure. God!!!!
 
GiantSlayer

GiantSlayer

VIP Member
Jan 27, 2013
2,402
723
Well obviously you did have to clarify if you, the person experiencing the incident, weren't sure how to perceive it, then it would require some further explanation for one of us to understand. This obviously has you shaken up and I'm afraid I don't have the proper tact to continue with my opinion. I hope it works out for you.
 
graniteman

graniteman

MuscleHead
Dec 31, 2011
6,133
1,556
unwanted? Listen..for the sake of not writing a thesis in my OP I summed up quite a bit. I'll say one more time that I didn't't follow him out of camera range. He moved into the restroom I stayed well outside in open gym area. This may b a very diff gym that what some of u r accustomed to. No locker rooms, towel racks.
And that's the thing IronSoul...It was so smooth that one min it was just str8 training advice and split sec. l8r it was questionable. Then it was back to training for few mins then questionable. No I wasn't afraid of being physically harmed.
Each time It went from str8 training to questionable I was polite and then moved to another machine. Then he would reengage me. Honestly when he grazed my abs like he was going to go lower I was thrown. All I could think to do was squirm out of the machine. I felt completely out of my element. That I've had to defend myself and reexplain myself so many times is quite disheartening. But I appreciate that u have at least asked for clarification and remained objective.
And I guess that's really why I even created the original post b/c I Really just wasn't sure about the way I perceived the incident. I always always always try to give others the benefit of the doubt. And I'm not a dude. I don't know what you all think or what you guys motives are.
The whole "you didn't tell him to stop, or y didn't u just leave" is shit! That implies that a dude can do whatever he wants until we're made Uncomfortable Enough to stop somebody or that we should forfeit our gym time and right to be there and to train.
I didn't lead him on. Yes of course I was afraid of insulting him. But more so I just wasn't sure if my perception was right. I had PWO Stims pumping thru me and I was out of my element. I hadn't eaten yet either. I just wasn't sure. God!!!!

From what I read the guy is a creep and was hitting on you. I've known assholes like this, they take advantage of younger ladies or mousy type (for lack of a better description) and think they can intimidate them into submission. You have to be a certain type of asshole to keep pursuing a lady when they shoot you down and moving to different areeas is shooting a guy down, If you guys reading this don;t know that you may be a creepy dude at the gym! Sounds to me like you're a very nice type of person and were trying not to be rude while rejecting him. Assholes like this guy need a blunt GTFO here so he cant read anything else into it.

The fact you said he was a ex cop fits perfect. Sounds to me like he was trying to intimidate and control the situation, like he did when he was on the force. Cops are trained\learn to read people and body language. Not all cops are assholes, most yes, but not all. The assholes all have one thing in common, a Authority \ Power trip.

You need to confront him not hide from him.
 
sassy69

sassy69

TID Lady Member
Aug 16, 2011
1,067
398
IMO you should mention this to the staff and I am willing to bet they have video cameras on the place all the time as my brother ran an Anytime for a while. Video on everything.

This immensely inappropriate. Maybe come in one weekend w/ another guy friend. Otherwise this guy is really pushing the edges of harrassment and I think you should notify the staff, keep a journal of when / where you this guy & what he does, and they should be able to corroborate things on the surveillance system. Or you confront the guy. Or you leave that gym or adjust your schedule so you don't run into him.
 
nousername

nousername

Member
Mar 30, 2014
55
2
Well obviously you did have to clarify if you, the person experiencing the incident, weren't sure how to perceive it, then it would require some further explanation for one of us to understand. This obviously has you shaken up and I'm afraid I don't have the proper tact to continue with my opinion. I hope it works out for you.

Sorry I called you iron soul
 
nousername

nousername

Member
Mar 30, 2014
55
2
IMO you should mention this to the staff and I am willing to bet they have video cameras on the place all the time as my brother ran an Anytime for a while. Video on everything.

This immensely inappropriate. Maybe come in one weekend w/ another guy friend. Otherwise this guy is really pushing the edges of harrassment and I think you should notify the staff, keep a journal of when / where you this guy & what he does, and they should be able to corroborate things on the surveillance system. Or you confront the guy. Or you leave that gym or adjust your schedule so you don't run into him.
Really the only time that would b of issue is weekend since that's the only time it's not staffed, or the only time it's not staffed that I go. I've tried to time when I go to catch up with asst mngr. just to go over things. Yesterday I did adjust the time until my bf could meet me there w/I 20 mins.
 
D

Dsly

Member
Dec 5, 2012
44
2
I think you should talk to him first and just politely explain that you didn't want him to get the wrong impression and that in the future he shouldn't feel free to touch you. He will probably be very embarrassed and you will not need to be rude or involve the gym staff. If he responds any other way except to comply with your wishes, then you go to the staff.
I'm a social guy and talk to the people I see every day while I'm there. I have learned that in general, its not a good idea to talk to the women because there are so many guys at the gym trying to pick up on them, that they automatically assume that is what your doing if you introduce yourself.
 
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