If I could give you one piece of advice is that it seems you try to handle problems too directly. Learn the more subtle methods that are more difficult to attribute to any action whatsoever. The mentor I had on these boards taught me some of those methods very early on. They work in real life. I only have problems when I try to attack the problem directly. When I use other methods the target has no clue where his/her problems are coming from and every time they try to make sense of them it proves futile.