Just needed to share

Discussion in 'The Lounge - Off Topic Chat' started by SocioMachiavelli, Jul 3, 2018.

  1. SocioMachiavelli

    SocioMachiavelli VIP Member

    May 30, 2018
    I know this is probably not the optimal place to share this, but I just need to get it down on paper so to speak.

    At work I met a girl who was on placement, I basically fell in love with her the moment I set my eyes on here. But she had a boyfriend, however she stated that she had been with him for almost two years but had been unhappy for the last eighteen months….. We were getting close, she was playfighting with me at work and there was a spark. Shortly after I returned from a visit to Florida she found out she was 5 months and 3 weeks pregnant with his kid. She got an emergency referral to an abortion clinic and that was that. Days after the abortion we continued getting closer, we would often go for walks after work where he would be trying to call her, and she would just ignore his calls. We were getting closer and then she would pull away because of what she stated was guilt, she eventually decided to attend the same university as me so I was sure I’d still be around and just needed to be patient. He joined the army but would often call her crying…. stating how he couldn’t deal with it and wanted to leave…but she tried making him stay…. Stating to me if he comes home she couldn’t deal with his shit. He came home, and she left him for a week, but then went back to him. We continued being close and in may ( 6 months after we started getting close) she finally left him….two days later we had gone to the cinema and within a week she had stopped at my place. After a few weeks she admitted to me that towards the end of their relationship she would close her eyes and think of me when they were fucking. I’d also just like to point out that he was her first love

    It’s worth noting that her mum worked at the same place as me, she was continually telling me not to give up on her and that she thought I was the best thing for her daughter. I also want to point out that I never touched her whilst she was in a relationship, she told me this guy was no good but she loved him. So I just tried to stick around and be the better man, if she was happy I wouldn’t have dreamt of even doing that. In honesty I wouldn’t normally even entertain the idea, but I fell under her spell and abandoned my principles/what I believe in for her. But she convinced my that this guy was a piece of shit and in my eyes I had this angel in front of me.

    Anyway we went on holiday together here in England, before going to Rome and Italy together. I remember her telling me the only place he had taken her was for an abortion.

    We moved to university together and unfortunately the stress of everything got to us. I also found it difficult to trust her, I was aware that she may do to me what she did to him. But I loved her more than anything in this world… I Still do.

    In April she broke it off, but asked me to remain friends which I didn’t want to do but she was very unstable and I couldn’t leave her like that. She would still sometimes hold my hand whilst out walking or lay on me when watching a film. It was all very confusing and emotional torture for me, we had planned a life together and I still wanted that. I wanted my daughter to have her smile…. I never wanted kids before I met her. Trying to remain friends was difficult, I still wanted her and it seemed like somedays she wanted me but other days she didn’t. Fast forward to Friday last week…..she went back to him. The guy had no idea why she left him, but had suspected there was something going on with me and her…. Which technically there wasn’t but she was emotionally cheating on him. So I thought to myself…. You did that to him because you said he was a cvnt, now you are doing this me….. So I told him everything…….he still fucking took her back. How can you take somebody back who did that to you, how can you trust them? Infact how could she have done that to her first love in the first place? I just don’t understand. I’m hoping one of you will tell me they wont have a happy ever after and that I have placed enough doubt in his mind for it to unravel.

    I must be honest, I’ve never been so low in my life. I am not sure how I survived Friday night and I do wonder how much longer I can hang in here. I know logically I shouldn’t care about her, but I’ve had anxiety/emotional issues since I was 10… I’m now 26. In those sixteen years I have had nothing but chaos in my head… when we were together she gave me the greatest gift anybody could give to me…peace. I also have just recently realised that I am somewhat of an idealist, believing that people should put others before themselves, keep promises to the ones they love and do anything for them. But now I understand that’s not reality, that people only care about themselves…… If you’re a good person or a bad person it doesn’t matter….what matters is how well you play the game. This is what I now need to do, otherwise the world will have chewed me up and left me dead by the time I’m 30.

    I am not writing this for pity, as that doesn’t help anybody…. I am just hoping somebody can help me understand how he can take her back or what has just happened in the last year of my life? I am hopeful that I will be able to pull myself out of this darkness, but if not I will find my peace. I haven’t trained in years and the things I used to do to look after myself I no longer do. At the minute nobody would believe I have ever held a weight In my life, but I know if I am to make it…. The iron… the improvement of my body and self esteem will help my mind massively. But at the minute I do not possess the resources to begin.

    Right now the only things I take comfort in is hoping that her whole world unravels and that one day she see’s me and realises what a mistake she made.

    I also just want to say that people here in this community,the ones that are no longer here and other forums that you guys frequent have given me support over the years. I cannot convey how grateful I am for that.
  2. PillarofBalance

    PillarofBalance Strength Pimp Staff Member

    Feb 27, 2011
    You will never understand it so stop trying to. In fact even if you could it wouldn't help.

    You're depressed like many others and need help. You should honestly seek a professionals help. Go see your doctor and talk to them about depression. Healing starts there.
    ITAWOLF likes this.
  3. Darkness

    Darkness VIP Member

    May 7, 2011
    I don’t wish to come off as a dick, but the truth is that you blew through every stop sign and believed the same line of shit girls like her pass out to men who are trying to rescue them. Funny how ten million chicks (and men) who pull this shit have never met but have the same word for word identical story.

    They don’t want rescued but they like the attention. Sounds like you were enough to get her to take her eye off the ball temporarily.

    If you didn’t learn your lesson, I GUARANTEE you’ll get another chance when you repeatthis whole play again elsewhere Mr. Superman.

    Sorry you’re that depressed though. Don’t do anything stupid, unless it is to get laid. You have a hall pass on that right now my friend. Just give her a fake name and someone else’s number.

    I swore to God you were oldest son writing this until you said England. He’s mr. Superman also. And he’s always sad and confused when the chick he’s trying to rescue ALWAYS returns to the abusive sicko.
    ITAWOLF likes this.
  4. Superman

    Superman VIP Member

    Aug 28, 2012
    Brother, you are coming off like a bitch with a capital B. She played you like a punk and you ended up with no pussy. Why are you wasting your time hanging out with a girl who is already in a relationship if you're not and shes not putting out. Get over yourself bro, head back to the gym, fix your diet, and every morning when you wake your fucking ass up... repeat this mantra, "I am awesome." Believe that shit brother because its true. There are so many beautiful girls out there talk to them all... In the store, at the gym, in line at the coffeeshop. They'll talk back, when you're hanging out with a girl and you want some sexy time, move it along in that direction if shes not into it you'll know real fast. Sometimes putting the moves off for too long puts you in the friend zone. It sends signals to her that you dont want that pussy.

    Lastly forget this bitch, she sounds like a cock tease who enjoys torturing you. She doesnt deserve that kind of attention. She deserves exactly what shes getting from her clown friend. Find a different girl ANY girl, talk to them set up some hang out times. Even if shes still on your mind at first shell fade fast when your dick is wet in some pussy tighter and better looking than her grunge fest ever will be. Get your shit together bro, YOU control the dick she does not... YOU make the pussy do what you want it to NOT the other way around. Remember that mantra brother and good shit WILL happen. Good luck. You can do much better brother and you are well worth someone better. Forget this trash. Dont be a bitch

    PS when you find a high quality female that doesnt have her head stuck up her ass you'll know. When you do take your time treat her special and throw the aforementioned single male bravado out the window. Until then use this information.
    SocioMachiavelli, 5.0, BLTC and 2 others like this.
  5. SocioMachiavelli

    SocioMachiavelli VIP Member

    May 30, 2018
    @Superman I understand your points completely. All of that just seems so far away though,but I'll get there. Maybe when I get started I'll start somewhat of a journal of my journey to finding myself but also my lifting. That way I'll be more likely to stick to it and you guys can keep me accountable.
    Rider likes this.
  6. Rider

    Rider TID Board Of Directors

    Aug 27, 2010
    You’re not alone, I can relate. Many of us experienced similar stories at different periods throughout life. It happened to me multiple times before I learned. It sucks, period.

    Also it’s normal to feel anger and depressed. Use this as your motivation. Turn it into passionation toward personal improvement. The gym is an excellent outlet. The weights will never leave you, remember that! Focus on training, build yourself back up, and rise from the ashes.

    As for this girl. Block her out from your life. Block and delete her number, social media accounts, and get a new job away from her and her mother. In doing so, you will gradually think of her less each day. Thus, your mental healing process will begin. Time heals all wounds. Soon your experience will become a distant memory. Who knows, in a few years, maybe you’ll come across a post similiar to your own story, and can help guide the person in the right direction.
    SocioMachiavelli, Mike_RN and 5.0 like this.
  7. FLEXjs

    FLEXjs TID Board Of Directors

    Apr 23, 2012
    My mind is literally blown that you are 26. I thought this was highschool type drama.

    And WTF at having an abortion at almost 6 months??? Is that even legal? Da Fuq? How did she not know for that long?

    IMHO you are well rid of her but you also kinda deserved what you got. Hope you learned something.

    Now, do you have any questions about lifting? That's a shit ton of personal crap for a guy with less than a dozen posts on here...
    5.0, rawdeal and Superman like this.
  8. BLTC

    BLTC VIP Member

    Dec 23, 2010

    ^^^ Im fucking speechless if this is true. TBH I think she was lying. How the fuck didn't she know? How the fuck wasn't she "showing" at that point. She was lying to get you to commit to her before she dumped her current BF. Do you really want to be with someone like that? Cuz guess what....if she did it to him...........she'll do it you.
  9. Mike_RN

    Mike_RN Senior Moderators Staff Member

    Aug 13, 2013
    My baby brother (lol he's 43) did the same thing a decade ago. She was unhappy, he took the high road, put her on a pedestal and when he finally got her they wed. The other guy never left the picture (he didn't find out til after). He had 3 sons with this psycho bitch and she put him $50k in debt before he cut off her access to credit and money.

    The second she lost her "income" she ran back to the "1st love"...got pregnant with his kid and then refused to divorce my brother until the bastard was born since the first guy didn't have health insurance (and my brother did). Some people (men and women) are just human garbage. Plain and simple. She did it once she'll do it again.

    Lose her number, move to a new flat. Go to Ibiza or Majorca and bang it out with some strange, get your manhood back and never speak to this cunt again. SHE WILL CONTINUE TO USE YOU FORVEVER IF YOU LET HER. I actually had to take my lil brother's guns out of his house and get him into AA to keep him from killing himself over this shitbag.
    SocioMachiavelli, Superman and Rider like this.
  10. Superman

    Superman VIP Member

    Aug 28, 2012
    Yeah brother, forget this disgusting whore. Find a couple to spread some lovin' too. In the process see if you can connect with someone on a deeper level. If you can you're set, if not your dick is getting wet in the process so you're all set.

    Truth be told, I'm worried you're not gonna take all this good advice, you really should. Make the change TODAY, I use to be that guy so I've been right in your shoes. I'm happily married now, and once I got my self confidence up and started taking care of my appearance I found it much easier to get with women. Hell some were even just friends... But when they were I treated them that way, if I was together with one I didn't want to be friends with and she wasn't interested in me physically as hard as it was... I didn't play that game, I just bounced rejection is part of life.
    Mike_RN likes this.
  11. MAYO

    MAYO Bad Mother

    Sep 27, 2010
    Didn't you just change your identity because of a psycho chick....now this.
    YOU are fucked up. Fucked up people attract fucked up people. I speak from experience. Figure out what is up with yourself and work through it. Be wholesome, be healthy and expect the same in a woman. Women are not the focal point of life. They are a pleasant and beautiful facet...but not the main feature.

    Take a hard look in the mirror brother; that's where you'll find the problem.
    C T J, Darkness and Snachito1 like this.
  12. FlyingDragon

    FlyingDragon VIP Member

    Nov 4, 2010
    Can u post a pic of her?

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