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I Am Better Than Your Kids...

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MuscleHead
Sep 9, 2010
3,441
643
#1
This is taken from I Am Better Than Your Kids...


"I am Maddox, a 32-year-old computer programmer and writer. I can spell, draw, and do math better than your kids, so I've taken the liberty to judge work done by children. I'll be assigning a grade of A through F for each piece: "



Ding Ding! Here comes the shit-mobile. I've never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of shit.
GRADE: F



Not only are there flames being emitted from the jet pack in space, which is an affront to everything we know about astrophysics, but apparently mankind's first contact with an alien lifeform will be at the behest of a child, who will be on a first-name basis with the alien.
And this first communication that will go down in history and be quoted and etched in stone on our nation's capitals for millennia to come will be: "Hi Ouny ... Hi Arturo."
GRADE: F



No, Yoshi is not a single diner, let alone multiple diners. Nor is he a spice.
GRADE: F



That's interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white isn't that right, Rachel? Or should I call you RACIST? Nice try, Hitler.
GRADE: F
 
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MuscleHead
Sep 9, 2010
3,441
643
#2

Vrrrroooooooooooommmmmm!
GRADE: F



Holy shit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words: too many colors. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have ears, dipshit
GRADE: F



Nice proportions, shit head. The orange looks like a plum, the strawberry like a pineapple, and your future like unemployment.
GRADE: F



Terrible.
GRADE: F
 
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MuscleHead
Sep 9, 2010
3,441
643
#3

What did your papa do yesterday? WHAT DID HE DO? I'm a grown man. I own a machete, and I shave my beard & neck twice a week... This genuinely frightens me
GRADE: F



Hey kid, you can't know about something because "triceratops have 3 horns." That's not how the causative property works, dumbass.
Also, it's "tyrannosaurus rex," not "tranysaurus rex." It's a dinosaur, not a transgendered man who derives sexual pleasure from wearing clothing of women. Though your two-colored, doggy-style depiction does make one take pause for thought.
GRADE: F



First of all, I don't even know what this is. If it's supposed to be a dog, then it's the shittiest dog I've ever seen
GRADE: F



You spelled America wrong asshole. Also, I could have sworn America's colors were red, white and blue. There's no yellow anywhere, traitor
GRADE: F
 
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MuscleHead
Sep 9, 2010
3,441
643
#4

This one wouldn't be too bad if the color were kept inside the lines, you picked a new perspective, used non-abrasive colors and asked someone with talent to paint it for you. On one hand I want to give an A for effort but...
GRADE: F



This one would receive an "A" if the assignment was to throw as much random shit onto a paper as poorly as you can. I've pissed patterns on snow that look more coherent than this
GRADE: F



This was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents. Good job Kelly, now pack up your shit and find a foster home. If my kids tried to pass this off as a gift, they'd come home from school and find all their shit outside in a box. What a lousy gift, seriously. You give them video games and toys, and they give you some half-assed drawing with a crooked tree. I wonder how much a gift like this would set someone back. Five, maybe ten minutes to find a napkin and some markers?
GRADE: F


6,636,854 stupid kids tried stepping to my elite skills and got their shit ruined
 
Mindlesswork

Mindlesswork

Crusty Poo Butt
Sep 21, 2010
1,395
33
#5
oh snap, I can imagine how many tears rolled down for all that

Damn, that's a bit harsh on the kids :/
 
Growinboy

Growinboy

MuscleHead
Sep 25, 2010
502
44
#6
If somebody said that to my kid I might still laugh... Funny...
 
slicwilly2000

slicwilly2000

VIP Member
Sep 14, 2010
1,730
166
#7
I should submit a drawing and see if I get higher than an F, which apparently is all the author gives.

Slic.
 
Mindlesswork

Mindlesswork

Crusty Poo Butt
Sep 21, 2010
1,395
33
#8
My 6 yr old godson's drawing skill's the same Wish I had a sample to send this guy to grade, but probably be an F too
 
ajdos

ajdos

MuscleHead
Sep 8, 2010
2,282
386
#9
BWAHAHAHA! Shit was cruel...but hillarious....


6,636,854 stupid kids tried stepping to my elite skills and got their shit ruined
 
Mindlesswork

Mindlesswork

Crusty Poo Butt
Sep 21, 2010
1,395
33
#10
BWAHAHAHA! Shit was cruel...but hillarious....


6,636,854 stupid kids tried stepping to my elite skills and got their shit ruined
haha yeah...bet he's crushed so many little hearts with that though
 
G

Greenmonster

Member
Sep 28, 2010
54
2
#11
So the guy can draw as well as your children huh? Thats not saying much. I would like to see some of his handy work so I could tear him a new one. The shit is funny though. "Eggs arent supposed to have ears dipshit" and "tranysaurus rex" LOL
 
cyto33

cyto33

MuscleHead
Sep 15, 2010
346
2
#12
that is the only way they learn hit em hard with the truth of life. lol
 
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