Husbands/BF/Partners who don't train...

Discussion in 'Female Training Discussion' started by TenaciousA, Feb 20, 2014.

  1. TenaciousA

    TenaciousA MuscleHead

    Mar 31, 2013
    Hi ladies,
    So let me begin this post by stating that I am in no way venting (maybe a little), but am sincerely hoping to gain some genuine feedback about how to deal with this difficult situation.

    I know that I have discussed the genesis of this conundrum before and do not wish to revisit.

    Let's get to the question at hand, when living with a husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, partner who is absolutely in no way shape or form interested in a healthy habits (diet, sleep, etc) or working out, how do you deal with the inherent tension that this causes?

    I fully respect the fact that people need time apart, as a lack there of is absolutely stifling. I absolutely do not intend to get out of my marriage, but I am concerned about the long-term issues that this may cause; and I do realize that issues only occur if you let them.

    Sincere thanks in advance for your input.
  2. Rottenrogue

    Rottenrogue Strongwoman Administrator Staff Member

    Jan 26, 2011
    Hubby used to train strongman. He hasn't for the majority of our marriage. I guess for me I just let him do his thing and I do mine.
    He is supportive of me but not to the point of traveling to competitions. I'm pretty independent so I'm happy to do my own thing.
    graniteman likes this.
  3. Turbolag

    Turbolag TID's Official Donut Tester

    Oct 14, 2012
    I'm just curious, what is the issue? Also, what do you mean by tension?

    are you being discouraged from your activities?
  4. graniteman

    graniteman VIP Member

    Dec 31, 2011
    Yep Tenacious, the hardest part is probably the differing diets. Gotta learn not to sweat the small stuff in life and dont let it become bigger than it is. I just look at it like working is my ''hobby' and the wife has hers, no friction, usually
  5. TenaciousA

    TenaciousA MuscleHead

    Mar 31, 2013
    Thanks for the replies...
    RR I am also ├╝ber independent, to the point it pisses him off and he feels I don't "need" him. Separate issue but compounded by my gym time.

    Turbo: issue is that he believes I value gym >>> him or us. And that I hide in the gym. I am an excellent communicator and open and honest- explaining that I am very much in need of this time due to my stressful job. If I didn't lift he would NOT like me. His perception is the issue; I'm working on how I approach my gym time (attempting to better plan v saying this is what I am doing today) but still problematic.

    GM the diet is an issue but only because I make so many dishes. ;)

    Thanks guys really.
  6. Fury

    Fury MuscleHead

    Jun 6, 2012
    It's tough when your in a relationship where you have one person focused on training and the other partner does cause friction in some cases and I have seen partners stray.its a tough one my situation my wife crossfit trains twice a day and I lift and box.we are on the same wavelength but there was a time I didn't even want to know about training but all I can say is try and come to some sort of of luck
  7. klbsa

    klbsa Member

    Jan 5, 2011
    I had a long term gf that I left around this time last year over this kind of issue. She smoked over a pack a day, she ate like shit, she refused to exercise, she stayed up until 2 every morning and slept until 12, she took all kinds of prescription uppers and just because she always stayed thin it wasnt ok with me. After a few years of watching her kill herself I bailed. She gave the meanest blow job on earth and it was really hard to give that up, but I couldnt take it anymore.
  8. Turbolag

    Turbolag TID's Official Donut Tester

    Oct 14, 2012
    Tenacious I think you need to sit down with him and make sure there are no distractions in the room. And explain how important your hobby is to you. Make sure you make eye contact to show you are sincere.

    Be polite and explain that you are happy where you are relationship wise but also explain you have a hobby that relieves stress and that you need it in your life. Also remind him that he comes first and the gym second. Try to get the point over that you going to the gym is important for YOU.
  9. FLEXjs

    FLEXjs TID Board Of Directors

    Apr 23, 2012
    I don't think it needs to inherently cause tension. I was married twice and neither of them worked out and it was never an issue.

    My current GF is somewhat sporadic with her training. I encourage her but don't pester her about it.

    I've always known that my lifting was "my thing" and it would never be a deal breaker if my partner didn't lift.

    Added bonus for sure, I love lifting with her, but it's not critical; she does support me though and that's important.
  10. BrotherIron

    BrotherIron TID Board Of Directors

    Mar 6, 2011
    Your sig other doesn't have to lift or exercise for a relationship or marrige to work but they HAVE to be 100% supportive. If they're not it won't work and it won't last.... plain and simple.
  11. spinyvegeta

    spinyvegeta MuscleHead

    Dec 15, 2013
    It helps if they know kinda what you're going through and they're a big help in meal prep.
  12. GiantSlayer

    GiantSlayer VIP Member

    Jan 27, 2013
    Since all the other men have chimed in I'll give my opinion.

    Maybe be your man would prefer to lay with a fat lazy chick? All I want for my girl is for her to be happy. If training was her passion then I would support her in every way I could. Likewise I would expect her to support me.
    tightglutes likes this.

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