Latest posts

Forum Statistics

Threads
23,902
Posts
470,255
Members
27,213
Latest Member
Majora7
What's New?

How I Ruined My Life...

Get Some

Get Some

MuscleHead
Sep 9, 2010
3,441
643
#1
Hey Bros, So I've been really depressed lately with a few deaths in the family and been eating terribly. Put on about 10lbs of what I'm sure is all fat. Gonna have to work hard to get that off. Would have been easier if I wouldn't have quit smoking recently, haha.

Anyways, here is a little something about me that you probably didn't know (This is more me venting than an interesting story so bare with me here, lol).

I have been atheltic my whole life, 6'2" 185 lbs my freshman year in high school. Come the end of my Senior year, I was a 1st Round Draft Pick of the Los Angeles Dodgers and an instant 18 year old Millionaire. So, immediately thinking to prepare for the future, I bought only what I thought was necessary...a $750,000 house, a Bentley Continental GT, and an Escalade. It's amazing how much you can think that you are "mature for your age" until someone hands you a sack of cash.

3 months before my 20th birthday I was pitching in double-A already and leading the league in strikeouts. I was on track to make it to the bigs in my teens. But that night after a high 94mph fastball, something in my elbow popped. Actually, it was more like someone lit my elbow on fire and tried to soothe the burning with a chainsaw (no joke, it was seriously that painful). Later that night the skip got a call from the big league club saying they needed me up there to pitch out of the bullpen and possibly make a start. I was crushed after my manager had to tell them the news that I was injured. So, they took another of my teammates up...who is still in the bigs today.

TO be honest, I have no idea what wouldv'e happened if I had stayed healthy. But, that injury was the start of my demise. I started "just not giving a fuck" about anything. I made it back to AAA Las Vegas, but never could regain the control to get up to the bigs.

Vegas was a terrible place for me. I spent money like it was no big deal on a daily basis. $5,000 for table service....no problem. $2,000 at the strip club, no big deal. I bought several more cars and lots of nice things. As a baseball player, it was beyond easy to get hot chicks to come home with you at night, especially if they saw you throwin around cash like I was. I can't even believe some of the things I did in those days. Most I'm not proud of at all. BUT, let's be honest, I had a lot of fun. Too much fun to be exact.

Now, all that's left of me is someone who has the talent but not the body. I have a surgically repaired Ulnar Collateral Ligament, Medial Collateral Ligament, rotator cuff, and a torn labrum in my right shoulder. That's just what I know of, there may be more.

I lost my house and all of my cars but one. Managed to hang on to the Bentley, but had to sell it for much less than it was worth so I could pay off other debts. So now I'm just a normal guy who lives in an apartment and drives a mustang GT. Not a bad car, but nothing like I was used to. It's very depressing having your perfect lif ripped away by none other than yourself.

The most interesting thing out of this story has to do with AAS. I was offered certain AAS and HGH several times during my recovery and I refused. I guess I was under the impression that you couldn't drink while being on them and that just wasn't going to do. After all, I did blow a .29 on a breathalizer that I somehow got away with. The cop must have been a dodger fan cuz he dropped me off at my buddy's hous and I came back and picked up my car the next day.

Had I taken the HGH and AAS like so many others did I may still be playing today. That's the thing that I wonder about the most. That's the biggest "what if?" for me. Could I have come back quicker? Could I have made it up to the bigs? No use in lingering too long on those questions, there's nothing that can be done now. But, the point is, because of these thoughts, I decided to put a vested interest into studying AAS and peptides. I learned more than ever thought possible and ran numerous successful cycles. A few were experimental but ended up working out for the better.

I experienced all that one could ask for from the "single life." I missed out on college...so instead of fucking the new incoming freshman I was taking home milfs from clubs. I used to drink so much each day that a 300mg single dose of Winstrol wouldn't get me worried about my liver.

Sorry for such a long schpiel, I'm just trying to vent right now and convince myself that I'm not a "has been" and I still have something left to focus on in my life and be proud of. As I've said, I've struggled in more ways than one in this life, so if anyone needs to just talk about anything, I'm here (no homo). Call me an idiot or a failure all you want, I just really needed to get all this off my chest to someone.

Until that day when I know what my purpose on this planet will be.....Cheers
 
Last edited:
Mindlesswork

Mindlesswork

Crusty Poo Butt
Sep 21, 2010
1,395
33
#2
Wow, now that's quite a story, GS. Sorry to hear about your family, so keep your chin up and keep on truckin. While you should grieve for your lost loved ones but then there's a time to set that aside and move ahead and onward. Keeping your eyes on the prize and a level head on those big shoulders is what makes a man.
 
ajdos

ajdos

MuscleHead
Sep 8, 2010
2,282
388
#3
You know when you are just an average person and you still are in later years of your life, you look back and wonder if things should have, could have been different.
For someone who was there and came so close to something that many never even dream possible I can only imagine how it must feel to be in your position now.
Its all about perspective bro, I can tell you, I didnt go through what you went through, but I am dealing with my own personal hell as we speak, and like you it makes you wonder wtf you were even put on this earth for.
I dont know man, seems like we all have a greater purpose than just mediocrity, I guess the difference is the bad things in our lives sometimes show and direct us like sign posts to things we never saw coming, sometimes good, sometimes bad...life such that it is.
Ironically as bodybuilding saved me, it is now part of my undoing.
All you can do at the end of the day is dust yourself off, spit out a couple teeth, and get back on your feet and push forward...thats all I know, I have had real bad shit happen through out my life, and each time I perservered, and you will too man. Your story is gut wrenching, but something is waiting for you, your purpose, just have to stick it out.
 
Get Some

Get Some

MuscleHead
Sep 9, 2010
3,441
643
#4
Thanks for the support guys. I never look for sympathy cuz that's just not who I am, but one drunken night got me to let loose. It actually feels pretty good to get that story off my chest and out of the way. As I can imagine, people have had similar things happen to them throughout the course of their life. Being at or near the top, sometimes you just need to get humbled. This was and still is a humbling experience for me to be certain. I'm not mad at anyone in baseball for taking steroids and possibly furthering their careers because of it. They were trying to keep their job, just like most other people in this world. I can't fault them for that, in fact, it's probably something I should have considered.

But now, I've gotta work from the ground up. I've got a good job that is 100% commission so I've gotta work my ass off to make any money. Thank God that I don't have a family to support yet. I've had my fun, now it's time to get down to business. Keep on drillin them weights boys (and girls)....currently it's the only thing keepin me sane.
 
hugerobb

hugerobb

VIP Strength Advisor
Sep 15, 2010
2,027
56
#5
well hang in there,and go to the gym and throw some wieght around you will feel better (Just remember, even a bad day in the gym is better than most days anywhere else)
 
IronCore

IronCore

Bigger Than MAYO - VIP
Sep 9, 2010
4,321
1,535
#6
Bro... DAMN! I hate to her that story... Things will get better... you may never own a Bentley again... but thats not what life is about... be happy in who you are and take each day for what it is worth...

This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!
 
pux888

pux888

MuscleHead
Oct 1, 2010
1,256
65
#7
Bro... DAMN! I hate to her that story... Things will get better... you may never own a Bentley again... but thats not what life is about... be happy in who you are and take each day for what it is worth...

This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!
I agree wholeheartedly with this. Until one is humble its difficult to appreciate life. I'll be the first to admit the world has humbled me more times then I would like.
 
JackD

JackD

Senior Moderators
Staff Member
Sep 16, 2010
5,067
539
#8
GS, wow what a story. Can't believe the path you were down. You never lost anything other than PHYSICAL material possessons. What would having all that stuff really done for you anyways?? You can't use it when you are dead, they are not helping anyone out. They are just objects you bought with money. However, I know you are religious, and you know very well events occur and happen in our lives that we just don't understand or can explain. You know that the purpose that you need to serve will be greater than what you can think of at this moment.

You are a more wise individual today than you were back then, you have more experience, and understand life so much better. You have a great girl at home, and a good job. You change peoples lives everyday on these Forums, not to mention the countless numbers of individuals I know you help or influence on a daily basis. I think what you have to offer is more enriching and fullfilling than anything money can buy.

While you might say you are an average joe now, I don't think anyone is just average, we all have something to offer, you're heading down that path right now, have some faith and trust, come to terms with the past and let it go, then move forward for today and be thankful for everything you have, because the people and love can't be bought, and is worth so much more than the house, cars, and salary you had.

You're a great person, don't let the issues of the past bring you down. Pick up and move on. You can always vent or talk whenever needed, we're all here for you

Take care
 
Get Some

Get Some

MuscleHead
Sep 9, 2010
3,441
643
#9
Bro... DAMN! I hate to her that story... Things will get better... you may never own a Bentley again... but thats not what life is about... be happy in who you are and take each day for what it is worth...

This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!
Thanks bro, I agree completely. God has a purpose for me on this planet. It just sucks not really knowing what it is. Gotta leave that up to him and not try to do too much I guess.
 
Southpaw

Southpaw

Member
Sep 23, 2010
23
0
#10
Damn G.S!! I'll tell you a story. There is this guy I knew who was excellent at Hockey. He made it to Detroits Farm team but partied way to much. He was playing good (NHL Good),but he wasn't showing up to practices. Well one night he got wasted and didn't show up for a game, he was canned! His ego stood in his way and put a stop to any hopes for a career in the NHL. He now works odd jobs and is very bitter. Don't be him!! Most people dream of making it to where you where, so forget about what if and hold your head high knowing you where there. As for purpose in life, have you thought about training other Pitchers? Sell yourself and your knowledge, tons of people would love to pay to get trained by a PROFESSIONAL! I'd be cashing in on it and at the same time helping people. Hell, there are people out here that make loads of cash selling there time who aren't PROS! Just something to think about, and by the way congrats on Quitting Smoking..
 
Get Some

Get Some

MuscleHead
Sep 9, 2010
3,441
643
#11
Damn G.S!! I'll tell you a story. There is this guy I knew who was excellent at Hockey. He made it to Detroits Farm team but partied way to much. He was playing good (NHL Good),but he wasn't showing up to practices. Well one night he got wasted and didn't show up for a game, he was canned! His ego stood in his way and put a stop to any hopes for a career in the NHL. He now works odd jobs and is very bitter. Don't be him!! Most people dream of making it to where you where, so forget about what if and hold your head high knowing you where there. As for purpose in life, have you thought about training other Pitchers? Sell yourself and your knowledge, tons of people would love to pay to get trained by a PROFESSIONAL! I'd be cashing in on it and at the same time helping people. Hell, there are people out here that make loads of cash selling there time who aren't PROS! Just something to think about, and by the way congrats on Quitting Smoking..
Thanks brotha!
 
IronCore

IronCore

Bigger Than MAYO - VIP
Sep 9, 2010
4,321
1,535
#12
Damn G.S!! I'll tell you a story. There is this guy I knew who was excellent at Hockey. He made it to Detroits Farm team but partied way to much. He was playing good (NHL Good),but he wasn't showing up to practices. Well one night he got wasted and didn't show up for a game, he was canned! His ego stood in his way and put a stop to any hopes for a career in the NHL. He now works odd jobs and is very bitter. Don't be him!! Most people dream of making it to where you where, so forget about what if and hold your head high knowing you where there. As for purpose in life, have you thought about training other Pitchers? Sell yourself and your knowledge, tons of people would love to pay to get trained by a PROFESSIONAL! I'd be cashing in on it and at the same time helping people. Hell, there are people out here that make loads of cash selling there time who aren't PROS! Just something to think about, and by the way congrats on Quitting Smoking..
yeah... what he said... When I was in HS I took hitting lessons from a former Baseball player... he didn't really teach much... but he had a hell of a facility... it was all based on the simple fact he was once a pro player... so cash in your chips on that... may work great... Parents buy into there kids futures... even when there is no future, they are paying for hope...
 
Top