jipped genes
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- Oct 22, 2022
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So I went to pick up my nephew at the airport. On our way home I might have been going 15 mph over the speed limit. I see lights behind me so I pull over with that feeling of "my wife is gonna be pissed". I pull up my insurance on my phone and get out my DL. I see it is a woman cop when she gets out of the car in my rear view and without thinking I unbuttoned my shirt way low and opened it up as I am thinking this will be hilarious. You know how hot gals always flirt to get out of tickets? My Nephew gasped and said "What are you doing!", absolutely mortified at me. I am known as "Crazy Uncle Jipped" to my nieces/nephews. That is when I I realized this may look real bad to her..."I am a grown man in a car with my shirt opened up like a gals low cut top with a teenage boy and this could go very bad for me. I hesitated too long to button it up. I rolled down the passenger window as she came up on that side. My nephew is trying to shrink back through the seat looking freaked out. I am going to jail I think.
She looks at me, does a cop double take and says "DL and insurance." I hand her my phone and DL and figure in for a penny in for a pound. I say, "So, does this do anything for you?" I gesture at my open shirt hairy chest and a little nipple and run my finger down between my pecs. She just stares at me and says nothing with a blank look on her face. So I told her I how am trying to teach the boy how to get out of tickets using pure natural manly sexiness.
He lets out and audible groan and covers his face. She is stone faced for 2 seconds and starts busting out laughing. She says hang tight. My nephew was telling me how he has never been this embarrassed and he will go no where with me again in an octave much higher than his regular voice. I am crying I am laughing so hard. She comes back to the passenger window. Hands in my DL and says "I am gonna give you a warning because it is Thanksgiving, slow down."
I look at her and thank her and say to my nephew as she is walking away very loudly so she can hear "See boy, works every time". We both heard her her laughing hysterically as she walked back to her car.
Please note: This was not an original thought in my head. Me and my buddies were talking about the craziest things people tried to get out of tickets with us. (Not a cop, I am a neighborhood service officer. We carry no guns and cannot arrest people but can write citations) One of my buddies mentioned he had a gal who parked in front of a fire hydrant and was writing a ticket when she came out and started flirting with him with a ton of cleavage showing. We all said that a guy could not get away with that. And we all pledged that if we ever get pulled over by a gal, that is what we would do and have joked about it for 10 years. So if a viral video pops up, leaked from a cops body cam from north Texas, you know it was me!
She looks at me, does a cop double take and says "DL and insurance." I hand her my phone and DL and figure in for a penny in for a pound. I say, "So, does this do anything for you?" I gesture at my open shirt hairy chest and a little nipple and run my finger down between my pecs. She just stares at me and says nothing with a blank look on her face. So I told her I how am trying to teach the boy how to get out of tickets using pure natural manly sexiness.
He lets out and audible groan and covers his face. She is stone faced for 2 seconds and starts busting out laughing. She says hang tight. My nephew was telling me how he has never been this embarrassed and he will go no where with me again in an octave much higher than his regular voice. I am crying I am laughing so hard. She comes back to the passenger window. Hands in my DL and says "I am gonna give you a warning because it is Thanksgiving, slow down."
I look at her and thank her and say to my nephew as she is walking away very loudly so she can hear "See boy, works every time". We both heard her her laughing hysterically as she walked back to her car.
Please note: This was not an original thought in my head. Me and my buddies were talking about the craziest things people tried to get out of tickets with us. (Not a cop, I am a neighborhood service officer. We carry no guns and cannot arrest people but can write citations) One of my buddies mentioned he had a gal who parked in front of a fire hydrant and was writing a ticket when she came out and started flirting with him with a ton of cleavage showing. We all said that a guy could not get away with that. And we all pledged that if we ever get pulled over by a gal, that is what we would do and have joked about it for 10 years. So if a viral video pops up, leaked from a cops body cam from north Texas, you know it was me!