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captaincaveman

captaincaveman

TID Board Of Directors
Oct 17, 2010
1,301
485
The parent can be a former star student and professional athlete that never drank, did drugs, or even cursed. The child may perceive that as "too much to live up to" and look for ways to "escape." This sounds stupid and immature. It is. It is not logical. The first attempt to 'fix' the kid is to apply logic to an illogical kid. Never works. So, the parent may try to punish the kid straight or spoil the kid straight or send the kid off for a year or let the kid get locked up in jail...... at the end of it all is trying to get a kid to survive and be an adult. Underlying mental health issues can not be controlled or treated by a parent because (1) most parents are not equipped, and (2) no parent needs to be an accountability partner to their child. Be their friend or be their parent - but no child can serve two masters. One will influence the other to the detriment of the child. It is complex and sad and the world has put every bad tool in the hands of these children.

I am not agreeing or disagreeing with anyone. I am simply speaking from experience and observation. Thanks to all for this thread.
 
BackAtIt

BackAtIt

MuscleHead
Oct 3, 2016
2,185
668
The parent can be a former star student and professional athlete that never drank, did drugs, or even cursed. The child may perceive that as "too much to live up to" and look for ways to "escape." This sounds stupid and immature. It is. It is not logical. The first attempt to 'fix' the kid is to apply logic to an illogical kid. Never works. So, the parent may try to punish the kid straight or spoil the kid straight or send the kid off for a year or let the kid get locked up in jail...... at the end of it all is trying to get a kid to survive and be an adult. Underlying mental health issues can not be controlled or treated by a parent because (1) most parents are not equipped, and (2) no parent needs to be an accountability partner to their child. Be their friend or be their parent - but no child can serve two masters. One will influence the other to the detriment of the child. It is complex and sad and the world has put every bad tool in the hands of these children.

I am not agreeing or disagreeing with anyone. I am simply speaking from experience and observation. Thanks to all for this thread.


CCM, how much does influence (especially within a family construct) itself play in a child's development in regards to how they will handle societal pressures in your experience and opinion?...I get different views on this, even within the professional relm...


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captaincaveman

captaincaveman

TID Board Of Directors
Oct 17, 2010
1,301
485
This is a long response because there are literally thousands of books to read on the topic. So, I will distill this into my personal opinion. Again, not here to debate or convice anyone of anything. Each case is different and each child needs to be told they are a special INDIVIDUAL living in an evil world with rewards and consequences for accepting or avoiding their responsibilities.

I believe that kids (and all people) are 90% of what they are going to be when they pop out of momma. I have seen kids with the worst atmospheres as children become athletes, students and executives. I believe there is a way we are genetically designed to handle challenges. Opinions among therapists will vary because their experiences with kids and families vary.

First we must separate trauma into two types: Big "T" trauma and little "t" trauma.
Example of big "T" trauma would be having been gang-raped at 9 years old by family members.
Example of little "t" trauma would be a child seeing their parents go through a nasty divorce.

The big "T" trauma needs to be separated and handled differently than small "t" trauma as someone that has experienced big "T" trauma has been emotionally and physically damaged. There needs to be a repair element to the therapeutic regimen.

But, in general, some kids will use a bad childhood experience as leverage and manipulate anyone they can - transferring their issues to that person or group of people. They will play the participants off one another. This is especially true of kids with high IQ's as they have learned from their very early years how everyone around them responds to manipulation. High IQ kids are smarter than anyone else around them. Some are 'borerline' meaning they could almost suffer from multiple personality disorder. They can remember so much so fast they can literally change who they are 5 times in 20 minutes. I have seen therapists stop sessions, look at their notes and say, "Let's take a break. I have to catch up with all this."

While other kids will use the chaos they've experienced as a motivational tool to get out of that situation when they are old enough to do so. They learn to lean on themselves and surround themselves with people that will hold them accountable and mentor them properly. There is a healthy element of narcissism in these kids sometimes. They have learned to survive but their manipulation is public through competing and succeeding.

Again, there are books on this. I can post a few if anyone would care to read something other than opinion. :)

Much respect to all,
-CC-
 
BackAtIt

BackAtIt

MuscleHead
Oct 3, 2016
2,185
668
This is a long response because there are literally thousands of books to read on the topic. So, I will distill this into my personal opinion. Again, not here to debate or convice anyone of anything. Each case is different and each child needs to be told they are a special INDIVIDUAL living in an evil world with rewards and consequences for accepting or avoiding their responsibilities.

I believe that kids (and all people) are 90% of what they are going to be when they pop out of momma. I have seen kids with the worst atmospheres as children become athletes, students and executives. I believe there is a way we are genetically designed to handle challenges. Opinions among therapists will vary because their experiences with kids and families vary.

First we must separate trauma into two types: Big "T" trauma and little "t" trauma.
Example of big "T" trauma would be having been gang-raped at 9 years old by family members.
Example of little "t" trauma would be a child seeing their parents go through a nasty divorce.

The big "T" trauma needs to be separated and handled differently than small "t" trauma as someone that has experienced big "T" trauma has been emotionally and physically damaged. There needs to be a repair element to the therapeutic regimen.

But, in general, some kids will use a bad childhood experience as leverage and manipulate anyone they can - transferring their issues to that person or group of people. They will play the participants off one another. This is especially true of kids with high IQ's as they have learned from their very early years how everyone around them responds to manipulation. High IQ kids are smarter than anyone else around them. Some are 'borerline' meaning they could almost suffer from multiple personality disorder. They can remember so much so fast they can literally change who they are 5 times in 20 minutes. I have seen therapists stop sessions, look at their notes and say, "Let's take a break. I have to catch up with all this."

While other kids will use the chaos they've experienced as a motivational tool to get out of that situation when they are old enough to do so. They learn to lean on themselves and surround themselves with people that will hold them accountable and mentor them properly. There is a healthy element of narcissism in these kids sometimes. They have learned to survive but their manipulation is public through competing and succeeding.

Again, there are books on this. I can post a few if anyone would care to read something other than opinion. :)

Much respect to all,
-CC-

Good post, CCM!...Thank you for relaying your thoughts on it....

As regards to you referencing trauma and breaking it into two main cats., I do agree!...What is your feeling/view on people who fall into the "Big" T scenario that handle similar situations differently?... (Ex.) Say two people experience horrible childhood abuse (mental and physical) for years starting at the age of 5 or so and it continues until they reach 18...One deals with it valiantly and the other doesn't (such as doing similar activity to others later on in life)...Do u feel like the one that didn't handle it so well should be viewed as "weak" and that they were just born into the 90% cat?...Or perhaps some people can handle that sort of abuse and some can't?...And would u blame the person who committed similar acts on other people as to be "bad"?...


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STEAK HELMET

STEAK HELMET

VIP Member
Sep 17, 2010
445
108
I remember Drew Barrymore said she started drugs at 9yrs old and was getting into bars at 13.

If you have name for yourself, people will help you. Some people are obsessed with being around celebrities that they would do anything for them. YES even get them drugs.

Shit if The Rock asked me to get him some goodies, I sure would do my best to help him out. You know he has the money and you know he will want more.
 
BackAtIt

BackAtIt

MuscleHead
Oct 3, 2016
2,185
668
I remember Drew Barrymore said she started drugs at 9yrs old and was getting into bars at 13.

*LOL*...I thought she was one of those in show biz that DID keep herself clean!...I couldn't imagine one of my daughters getting into bars at that age...Unbelievable!...


If you have name for yourself, people will help you. Some people are obsessed with being around celebrities that they would do anything for them. YES even get them drugs.

No doubt!...


Shit if The Rock asked me to get him some goodies, I sure would do my best to help him out. You know he has the money and you know he will want more.

U a rock fan too, eh?...I always liked him even when he was into wrestling....I would prolly just about do anything for him as well, except a few things, *LOL*...


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J

jimijimi

Member
Dec 15, 2010
10
0
It is unbelievably easy for kids to get their hands on these drugs. I had a 17 year old show me how he could order black tar heroin (or whatever) off the dark web. Scary stuff. Back to my point of "if a kid/person wants it, they can find it." The kid/person just has to have the ability to walk away. That's what this kid (now 22) had the ability to do. He realized drugs were not going to get him where he wanted to go - so he stopped. Maturity.

Good way to get busted. Feds watch that site
 
HDH

HDH

TID Board Of Directors
Sep 30, 2011
3,386
2,812
Feds watch all the sites, I wouldn't worry about it unless you are contracting a murder, buying large amounts of drugs, sicko kiddy stuff or buying weapons.
 
HDH

HDH

TID Board Of Directors
Sep 30, 2011
3,386
2,812
Including this one....


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Not nearly as hard
wink.gif


Bodybuilding boards aren't quite the same, especially if it's a non sourcing board. Even sourcing boards aren't looked at the same as actual drug/gun/cyber theft/solitation for murder sites.
 
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