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Did you want to grow up and be like your dad?

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MR. BMJ

MR. BMJ

Senior Moderators
Staff Member
Sep 21, 2011
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2,720
Were you close to your dad to the point you wanted to grow up and be a lot like him, or did you want to be completely different than him?

Assuming you knew your dad, lol.
 
Halo

Halo

VIP Member
Jul 5, 2011
3,875
779
I look like a bookend of my dad. I never wanted to be him just the best me I could be and I hoped he would be proud. I have a bunch of mannerisms of his must have picked them up from him subconsciously my wife calls me on them. I wish he was still around really wanted to do the getting old thing with him around.
 
R

rawdeal

TID Board Of Directors
Nov 29, 2013
4,455
3,680
Used to exercise-walk w/my Father when I could get the time. He was fucking ROBUST one December when he turned 85yo, and then he was dead by the following August.

Pulmonary Fibrosis ... long list of probable causes ... his was probably asbestosis exposure. He was my Hero and probably my best friend ever more than a few guys my age over the years.
 
genetic freak

genetic freak

VIP Member
Dec 28, 2015
2,822
3,715
Fuck no! My dad was an abusive druggie and alcoholic. Of the 4 kids, I was the only one to move away and break the cycle. First one with my last name to graduate high school (the next were my kids), earn a degree (multiple) and be successful in anything other than drugs and alcohol. I have one brother I still associate with, as he just kind of stayed put, but didn't indulge with the rest. The others, I don't even talk to. They told my brother, that is because I think I am better than them. He responded, because he is. Haha. Which is the actual truth. I don't associate myself with negative people, so why stay in touch.
 
Glycomann

Glycomann

VIP Member
Jan 19, 2011
1,316
1,395
Yes, he was my first mentor. Hard working, smart, never stop, hard ass a lot but not all the time. He worked til he burned up in the atmosphere on reentry. I'm a lot like he was but he was a step above.
 
Yano

Yano

VIP Member
Sep 18, 2022
1,016
1,062
The old man is still alive. Out of 8 of us kids myself and my oldest sister are the only two that talk to him. Violent drunk , mean with a fist harder than a bag of hammers. It was like living on a gladiator farm.

Met his grandkids once , never held them , didn't really talk to them , whole visit was less than an hour. Refuses to meet or talk to his great grandkids.

I broke him when I was 14 , drunk came at me and I smashed him in the face with an old black rotary dial phone we had on the table , when we crashed through the screen door onto the porch we went through the 2x4 railing and fell to the lawn i landed on top of him , he started screaming about his back .. and I put the boots to him. Stomped him into the lawn. That was the last time he tried to lay hands on any one but it didnt make him any nicer or friendlier , he just got drunker and stopped interacting.

Broke my nose when I was 5 , my ribs after kicking me down a set of stairs for spilling the iced tea .. i could go on but there's no point many of us have lived through it , my story isnt special.

I always wanted to be as tough as he was , to be able to do some of the things he did but no I NEVER wanted to be like him.
 
R

rawdeal

TID Board Of Directors
Nov 29, 2013
4,455
3,680
Reading along, feeling bad that I even posted my story. My mother, otoh, was no prize winner. NO front page horror stories there, don't think she had any lasting effect on me ... just think my Father deserved so much better. Guess my family did things bass-ackwards.
 
DungeonDweller

DungeonDweller

VIP Member
Mar 21, 2017
1,539
1,343
Yes and no.
My dad was very kind, extremely hard working, loving, and mechanically talented man. He loved sports and war movies and all kinds of fun stuff I used to watch with him.
He also smoked, ate poorly, and rarely exercised leading to two heart attacks and his death when I was only 20.
 
I

Iron1

VIP Member
Jul 7, 2021
181
316
I didn't really know my father well. He was the sole income of the family and naturally worked a lot while Ma' was home with us kids. My parents split up and he immediately moved away to pursue his career in injection molding after the local shop closed.

He's a good guy but I can't really ever say he was around enough to be much of a mentor.

I wish I got to know him better.

One lasting message of his that shaped who I am and a memento we both keep in our wallets everywhere we go is the following poem by Peter Dale Wimbrow:

The Man In The Glass said:
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.

For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

He’s the fellow to please – never mind all the rest
For he’s with you, clear to the end
And you’ve passed your most difficult, dangerous test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
 
Bigtex

Bigtex

VIP Member
Aug 14, 2012
1,200
1,791
Were you close to your dad to the point you wanted to grow up and be a lot like him, or did you want to be completely different than him?

Assuming you knew your dad, lol.
NO. I was and wanted to be completely different. In fact, I am completely different that any one on both sides of my family.
 
Tuffoldman

Tuffoldman

VIP Member
May 23, 2011
1,587
1,427
My real dad I have no idea other than he was an abusive dick. My stepfather was not much better. My parents were bikers and when I say bikers I don't mean they used to go around wearing their leather vest and acting like Hell's Angels my parents were the real deal. Gang fights drugs too much alcohol and although they didn't just come home and give us a beating because they were drunk they sure didn't treat us like children that they should have. My parents were bigots one of the biggest racist people I've ever known and I never wanted to grow up to be like them and I didn't. I haven't seen my parents since 1995 and if I never see them ever again isn't going to put a dent in my day
 
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