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Chuck Norris Thread

Getraw

Getraw

VIP Member
Feb 6, 2011
298
27
#1
When Chuck Norris was 5 his mother gave him a shovel. He gave the world the Grand Canyon.


Chuck Norris was born in the log cabin he built!!
 
Getraw

Getraw

VIP Member
Feb 6, 2011
298
27
#2
The railroad tracks near Chucks Norris' house. Passengers complained about the vibrations from Chuck Practicing his round house kicks.
 
scarl3tbutt3rfly

scarl3tbutt3rfly

TID Lady Member
Feb 25, 2011
312
6
#3
Haha! I have a friend who absolutely loves Chuck Norris jokes!

Chuck Norris once killed 37 terrorists with only 2 bullets....the first bullet was a warning shot.

Nunchucks used to be called Nunlees until Chuck Norris used them.

You know the Super Bowl, that's what Chuck Norris eats his breakfast out of.
 
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MuscleHead
Sep 9, 2010
3,441
643
#4
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
 
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MuscleHead
Sep 9, 2010
3,441
643
#5
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.


Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
 
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MuscleHead
Sep 9, 2010
3,441
643
#6
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"


Chuck Norris runs Windows 7 on his Etch-a-Sketch

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
 
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MuscleHead
Sep 9, 2010
3,441
643
#8
If you want to find chuck norris, do this:

Go to Google and type "find chuck norris" in the search bar and then press "I'm feeling lucky"
 
Getraw

Getraw

VIP Member
Feb 6, 2011
298
27
#9
Chuck Norris can say "M" with out putting his lips together

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack, his heart wouldnt dare attack him.

Chuck norris is the reason Waldo is hiding
 
barbellbeast

barbellbeast

MuscleHead
Oct 4, 2010
343
43
#10
I suggest our community switch this to Branch Warren. The motherfucker hunts wild boar with a knife!!! You know why there's no Big Foot in Texas? Because Branch Warren fucking ate him!!!
 
Getraw

Getraw

VIP Member
Feb 6, 2011
298
27
#11
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, thats why there is no life on Mars.

Chuck Morris once decided to sell his piss as a drink "we know this drink as RED BULL"
 
Getraw

Getraw

VIP Member
Feb 6, 2011
298
27
#12
When Chuck Norris does push up, he doesnt push himself up, he pushes the world down,


GR
 
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