Children and school

[AllTheWay]

my son is 5 and started kindergarten this year. he did fine the first week but starting the second week he started having melt downs every day. he goes to a charter school with a very small classroom size. there are only 12 students and a teacher and teachers aide plus the music teacher comes in for 15-30 mins and the PE teacher has them for 15 mins and they take several little breaks and it is only from 8-noon. last monday he called and said that his stomach was sick. well he had been complaining on and off through the weekend and his sister had been sick the week before so i went and picked him up. tuesday he did ok but wednesday and thursdays were crying and wailing and begging me not to go. i walked away from him both times and because it is a small school the secretary and one of the other moms helped him to calm down and such. all weekend he has been saying that he doesnt want to go to school that writing is so hard. they teach cursive in kindergarten at this school and dont even bother with printing. i know there are pros and cons but have spoken at length with a client who was a kindergarten through 3rd grade teacher at different times and she has assured me that it actually helps them learn faster and to write faster.

zac is having a hard time with the writing and it is freaking him out. i know that acon is a youngster teacher and i know that most of you other women and guys have children. is there anything that you were able to do to make things easier for them? i have tried a reward principle and it didnt work. taking things away doesnt work. i spent the morning in the classroom today because it was picture day and i didnt want crying pictures. i left when he went to speech therapy class and came back and did my surgeries and then went back to the classroom for the last hour and a half. he was fine the whole time and the teacher said that he did well with his writing today. that is good but im afraid that todays good isnt going to carry over into tomorrow.

is there anything that any of you have found that helps? i offered to get the classroom a fish as they have the bowl and all the stuff but no fish. the teacher was happy with that and so was zac. im hoping that that will help him but wondering if anyone else had similar experiences and how you got through them? i know that one needs to inconvenience themselves for their children and i am willing to do whatever i have to but i dont want to nor am i going to go to school with him everyday.

 

[MAYO]

Just wondering, do you know what exactly is hard for him? Didn't know if it was the actual drawing of the script or being able to process the words. Maybe some extracurricular tutoring. Just make sure he KNOWS that he is not any less intelligent than his peers.

 

[gentao]

im sorry to hear that ATW. Is it just the writing that is difficult for him? could it be something else like other children making him feel uncomfortable? maybe its some sort of social anxiety

 

[Ogre717]

My son had some slight anxiety when he started kindergarten. I think its pretty normal. its a new environment, with a lot going on around him. I dont think there is anything we need to do as parents other than positive reinforcment, rewarding progress, and being patient. I think the one thing that motivated my son the most was the constant reminder that he was my big strong little man. He was always so happy to know how proud of him I was. Just give it some time and im sure he will find the fun in it. As for you, you are obviously a great mommy. just remember that.

 

[tommyguns2]

ATW, I would recommend that you continue to encourage him with his writing. If most things come very easily to him, this may be one of the first things that have been a real challenge, and he's attributing school in general to his discomfort, rather than just the writing. I would not coddle it too much, but just continue to give the support and encouragement.

 

[AllTheWay]

zac has done 2 years of preschool so he is ok with the seperation and being in that environment. the teachers have said that it is just the writing that he gets upset at and that is all he has complained about at home. they have only done cursive u and m's and worked all last week on cursive c's because that is the foundation of so many other cursive letters. it is when he started the cursive c's that everything started going downhill.

i spoke with one of the other moms and she said that the teacher can be pretty hard on the kids and doesnt have a great deal of patience with them. she said that if you stop in and watch that she will do better and not ride them as much. hence the reason that i spent the morning there today. the teacher was right on top of him and really encouraging him today and marked a star as soon as he got one, which works well for him. he really responds well to praise right at the time that something is happening. i have spoken with zacs aunts and my office manager and we are all going to try and make it a point to be there during writing atleast once a week for awhile and see if that wont help him and more importantly keep the teacher on her toes.

 

[PillarofBalance]

My first day of kindergarten I went in the back of the room behind a bookshelf and pissed on the floor. I didn't know they had bathrooms there so he's one up on me

He needs a win. Not a freebie but once he feels some success in writing he will have more confidence and attack his schoolwork with vigor.

 

[AllTheWay]

why does that not suprise me PoB when i did kindergarten it was all about playing and coloring. i do remember thinking that i was going to fail the second grade because one day i got an F on a reading assignment. back when they still gave kids F and not everybody was a winner

it is so hard to see them struggle i never got it until i was a mom dealing with it. i know in my head that he will be fine and it is just something that is hard for him when a lot of other things arent but it hurts my heart to see him upset.

 

[Lizard King]

I have many relatives that are teachers and they are all telling me to hold my son back a year because boys are not ready to start school at the same age as girls. This way he will be the oldest in the class, most developed and be the alpha male.
Not sure if any of this is true and i need to read up on it first but maybe he just isn't ready at 5.

 

[AllTheWay]

he is already the oldest and tallest. he will be six the first of october. i definately agree that boys are slower than girls but if i waited another year that would put him almost 2 years older than any of his classmates and then he would become the freak.

 

[400Lb Gorilla]

as you guys have already noted kindergarten is way ahead of what we did 20+ years ago. they are learning shit we didnt start learning until 2nd or 3rd grade atleast.

his issue might be "sight recognition". cursive writing is a pain in the ass for ANYONE to be able to correctly decipher much less a 5-6 year old that is just barely getting a grip on the written language.

although i am by no means an expert on this i would say you are on the right track. get with a few other parents of kids in the class and have them stay in once a week as well. this will keep the teacher from getting to impatient with the kids and for your son will give him a little extra "incentive" to concentrate and maybe learn a little faster.

 

[acon83]

Its tough to say, and I think you're covering all the bases with helping him get through it. One thing though, does he have anxiety about anything else? I ask because, many times, kids with anxiety will have these meltdowns, due to the fact that they can't be in control of themselves. My third graders aren't so emotional, but, I have seen my fair share of crying kindergartners, and some of them just need time to adjust. Since this isn't his first time being away from you, I agre that it's prob not seperation.

Have you had a talk with the teacher? If she's got little patience, why is she a kindergarten teacher? Answering that isn't going to help you, obviously, but I just wonder why someone who lacks patience will teach 5 and 6 year olds?

If it's truly the writing, maybe his little hands just aren't ready for it. Poor kiddo. Cursive in KN?! I guess that's a good thing, however, I wonder how that relates to learning letters and their sounds. I'll brainstorm ATW, and get back to ya! In the mean time, good luck. Sorry he's not feeling so great about school right now I went through a whole year of that with Kobe.