Here's the question- why bench at all? If the goal of benching is for a big chest, then choose a different exercise. Let's be very honest here, when MOST guys bench they do so like this....
- elbows tucked in
With the elbows tucked what is really getting worked? A lot of anterior deltoid and triceps... they bench like a hybrid close-grip bench press.
"But that's how powerlifters bench" -Right, powerlifters, they have different goals.
"But lots of guys with a big chest bench like that." Right, and they do a lot of ancillary exercises as well (flys, incline press, crossovers, pec deck).
what to do? Couple options...
- drop the ego and lessen the load, bring elbows out (perpendicular to the body), stop upper arms parallel to the floor (essentially making a "box" with your arms).
- Perform the same manner as above but with pushups... need more weight, get under a smith machine, roll back the bar, and have it rest on your upper back/rhomboids
- Do declines in same manner... EMG studies show declines work the pectoralis better than the bench (ever see the chest on a male gymnast doing an iron-cross?)
If you do the pushups as described I bet you'll feel your chest like you haven't in a long long time.
I haven't done a bench press in more years than I can remember and my chest isn't suffering. I'm not some "huge mother" mind you, not pretending to be.