Anonymous confessions of a different kind of guy

[Realize]

Jay, please take this advice.

Aim to get as big as you can. Not fat but muscle. Dont be afraid you are not going to just wake up looking huge.

It's not easy. Somewhere along that journey, you will look in the mirror and say ok I have enough mass. (That day will never come btw)

Dont be afraid to eat and dont be afraid to lift heavy weight without hurting yourself.

 

[jay_victor]

Jay, please take this advice.

Aim to get as big as you can. Not fat but muscle. Dont be afraid you are not going to just wake up looking huge.

It's not easy. Somewhere along that journey, you will look in the mirror and say ok I have enough mass. (That day will never come btw)

Dont be afraid to eat and dont be afraid to lift heavy weight without hurting yourself.

Sounds like good advice. Seems a bit far away right now, so getting to 2x body weight squat would be a start. It's not that I'm afraid of getting really big, but from where I'm sitting now, I am not shooting for it. Things might change, but I would be happy with a more athletic look. Mostly I want to get strong and stay strong until I'm old.

I'm hitting my 1g/lb of protein and not holding back on food at all, just eating in an 8 hour window. I know most of you think that won't work, but I'm going to try. I am aware it will be slower, but that's ok. Like I said before, if it fails I can always eat humble pie and admit you were all right. I'll tell you what I'll give it 6 months - in the diary. July 10th 2019: Report back on 16:8 training progress. If I don't get to 2x body weight and 10 pull ups it's a fail.

 

[Shock]

One other thing: remind yourself that especially in bodybuilding, weight lifted is fairly relative. In bodybuilding, we don't concentrate on moving a certain weight from one location to another only. We're concerned with targeted perceived work.

Some people get caught up in how much weight they're "doing." What does that really mean if our form isn't impeccable? Since you're just beginning, I wholeheartedly endorse a "high" rep / "low" weight regimen. This will aid you in avoiding injury and it will allow you to concentrate on every movement and afford it the amount of attention it deserves.

I say all of this because you've made mentioned, a couple of times, about achieving a two-times-bodyweight squat. If you're looking for physique changes mostly or only, I wouldn't focus so much on that type of goal. You'll get there, but what matters most is your form. You'd be surprised how little weight is required to achieve an enormous amount of perceived work.

Breathe and create a mind-muscle connection.

 

[jay_victor]

One other thing: remind yourself that especially in bodybuilding, weight lifted is fairly relative. In bodybuilding, we don't concentrate on moving a certain weight from one location to another only. We're concerned with targeted perceived work.

Some people get caught up in how much weight they're "doing." What does that really mean if our form isn't impeccable? Since you're just beginning, I wholeheartedly endorse a "high" rep / "low" weight regimen. This will aid you in avoiding injury and it will allow you to concentrate on every movement and afford it the amount of attention it deserves.

I say all of this because you've made mentioned, a couple of times, about achieving a two-times-bodyweight squat. If you're looking for physique changes mostly or only, I wouldn't focus so much on that type of goal. You'll get there, but what matters most is your form. You'd be surprised how little weight is required to achieve an enormous amount of perceived work.

Breathe and create a mind-muscle connection.

The mind muscle connection is the one I need to work on for sure. I have read about this so many times, but don't do it. I think the other stuff I'm on track with.

This is what it's taken years to realise. My form is really good now, and I have no fears of injury. In the first couple of years I hurt myself thinking I should life a certain weight. Ended up butt winking on the squat and messed up an already weak lower back. Now my lower back is not the weak link it was.

I tend to get to 12 reps at a weight before increasing then dropping down to 6 or 8 reps, and moving forward like that. During the last period of training I found a nice rhythm where I leaving something in the tank on the increment, but found this way I had increases every session. Slow and steady. Absolutely no compromise on form. It's great you have all this experience and you're willing to share and communicated it clearly, thanks.

I talk about benchmarks as something to aim for rather than thinking I should be there in a hurry.

Training this morning was good - feels like the rhythm is back after the first few sessions. I'm going to switch to kilos in the log from now on, being British and all.

Barbell Squat 114
Set 1 : 20x5
Set 2 : 40x8
Set 3 : 60x5
Set 4 : 80x5
Set 5 : 90x8
Set 6 : 80x8
Barbell Seated Press 51
Set 1 : 20x5
Set 2 : 30x5
Set 3 : 40x5
Set 4 : 42.5x6
Set 5 : 35x8
Barbell Deadlift 133.33
Set 1 : 60x8
Set 2 : 80x8
Set 3 : 90x6
Set 4 : 100x10

 

[jay_victor]

Heavy cold has thrown me off for now...

While I'm here, been researching interaction of creatine and testosterone and surprisingly little material comes up.

I found this in favour of loading up, but it does seem potentially biased as there is someone recommending a brand of creatine at the end...

https://www.steroidology.com/forum/anabolic-steroid-forum/584341-creatine-steroids.html

 

[jay_victor]

Illness sucks hard. Nothing worse than being inspired to train but ill... Still, stayed on a clean diet, and sticking to the no booze no sugar plan

Been back training for 3 days now after recovering enough. Keeping things on the low down just in case another disease is lurking

I got my blood work done during the break. Nothing to worry about in terms of PSA and estradiol. Unfortunately free T and T were not measured correctly because of contamination from the stupid gel. I wear gloves and hadn't handled any gel for over 24h, but still apparently there was still trace amounts on the finger I used for blood testing.

To the docs for a prostate exam this week, then if all clear I'll be starting TRT via injections hopefully soon. No more gel, yay.

 

[jay_victor]

Struck down by food poisoning after posting on Monday, so 4 days off training. Resumed today absolutely full of beans.

Could be because I'm two days into sustanon. Got my meds and injection kit on Thursday, so dived in. First shot was comfortable, apart from some dull pain around injection site, but it's very mild.

No more gel, thankfully. Totally different feeling on the shots, probably just getting into optimal blood range of T I guess. My recommended dose is 0.5ml/125mg every 7 days, or down to 5 days if it needs adjusting, which would bring me up to 175mg / week. The service provides 4 x 1m ampules per month, so I should build up a surplus as the months go by.

I feel better than I have for years. I could not wait to lift today, and have been mentally sharp and energised since waking up. Straight back to within 10% of PR on bent over rows, so feeling confident about getting back up to my 2018 numbers and beyond.

Due for bloods again in 6 weeks, but might bring that forward if I feel the need

 

[jay_victor]

My log is still sparse, as mentioned will make more updates once I am back on the numbers from September last year - I am almost back for sure

I've trained 12 out of the 18 days since the last post, so not bad. Lots of progressive overload, getting back to the previous level quickly! Last workout, equaled my PR on overhead press, set a new one for squats and DLs. Up to 300 lb on the squat now, 125 Ohp, 392 DL. I've switched to Sumo for my DL, just like it more.

There is much more in the tank on squat and DL for sure, and I expect to PR most workouts (varying set count to progress 1rm each time). It's a question of getting the whole body stronger slowly for me. My legs could squat more, but the lower back needs to come along.

I had a few dark days 3 weeks in to the Sustanon injections. I brought my 6 week blood test forward in case it's due to estrogen levels going high. Have the kit but haven't done it yet. I'm back feeling OK now, but not as solid as before the bad patch. Waiting until I feel crap again before doing the test. Having contaminated my test with gel last time, I am hoping I'll get an accurate reading on the T /Free T/SHBG this time, so I can see where I am.

Still no booze ( 2 months ) but been seduced by office candy and cakes last few days, even though still doing 16:8. I'm putting on weight - around 6lb over February. Back to clean bulking ASAP! Progress photos soon - you will see my skinny fat self so you'll know where I'm starting from!

 

[jay_victor]

Will be doing the blood test this week. Mean time, still getting cycles of feeling sub-par every few days. Sensitive nipples a bit too. Feels like I'm going to benefit from an AI while I am such high BF % (I would estimate 25%, with most being visceral fat, which is highly aromatising). If I get prescribed one, I will be building up from a very small dose.

Training is going well still. Worked out 7 of the 10 days since last check in. My lifts are all back to PR levels and beyond, and the PRs are not coming so easy now. I'll just post my last max lifts (calculated 1RMs) in lbs

Squat: 345 (I am nearing my true 1RM strength now, maybe get another 5-10% before gains will be slower. Back is holding out so well, slow and steady does the trick)
OHP: 132 (Only small gain in PR last time, compared to last few times)
DL: 385 (Grip strength seems the weak spot here)
BP: 193 (This is where I'm hoping to add strength most, aiming to get to 100Kg or 220 lb
Bent over row: 200 (This one is the only one still going up fast. Wouldn't be surprised to get to 220 soon)

In terms of body changes, I can feel muscles going on, and I'm clearly eating enough macros to be anabolic. I would guess a few pounds of muscle have been added. But without flexing or posing, I still look very skinny fat, so there is a long way to go. Thinking of pushing the lifts so they are all hard to move forward then going into a cut cycle to start tackling the gut.

Side note; snagged some weights on ebay: 418lb of olympic bumper plates for £120, or around $150. This is insanely cheap over here. Also included an olympic bar, which I can sell because I already have one. Since I already had over 300 lb of plates, I gave 150lb of the new plates to a colleague for £40, happy days all round.

Hope you all have a great day

 

[jay_victor]

17 days gone... wow. 10 more workouts, so holding up, but looking to improve my consistency.

I am now no longer making clear PRs at every lift, so I have incremented up to my current real limits of 1RM and they are:

Squat : 407
DL: 411
Bench: 206
Shoulder press: 143
Bent over row: 215

Still beginner levels, but no longer weak. I can see some muscle mass has gone on, and I have increased from about 215 to 228 since starting this log. That's one week short of 3 months.

With the sustanon, I suspect some of that is water weight, but I would guess a few pounds of muscle. Overall I'm pleased, but this is just the start. Goal of 1x bodyweight press and 2 x or DL and squat are looking closer, especially if I manage to get my BF down from, I would guess, 25% to somewhere near 10% (another goal).

The beer belly hasn't gone down much yet, because I have been eating or gains, trying to stay anabolic. I plan to have a mini phase of lifting for maintenance, with a slight calorific deficit, and focus more sticking to the schedule of circuits and calisthenics between the full body workouts. Aiming to get back to 6 sessions per week.

On the TRT front, after coming in at 52 on estradiol in the last blood, I was lead towards splitting the dose rather than going for an AI at this stage, which I think was wise, because I've had less anxiety and irritability soon after doing that. Doing injectons every 3 days now. Probably go for another test in a month to verify estradiol is controlled.