MAYO
Bad Mother
- Sep 27, 2010
- 2,159
- 675
At my gym we have one power cage and two squat racks all in a row. For whatever reason we have a group of P90X-tards that refuse to use the aerobics room, gymnasium, or 5 open raquetball courts to do their little jumpy things. Instead they campout in the squat racks and power cage. I have developed a single motion excercise to compete with the douchebaggery.....I give you: The P90X Pull-UP
On leg day when you want to use the squat racks for say, I don't know, squatting maybe; follow the instructions.
-Chalk your dominant hand(the right hand for me) Optional: Hold an open shaker cup half full of yesterday's preworkout shake in the other hand.
-Standing about 8 feet from the power cage, take a swift crow hop and leap over the Richard Simmons tribute gang.
-While in midair, grab one of the pull-up handles on the power cage with your pre-chalked dominant hand.
-Once your grasp is set, allow your forward momentum to carry your swinging body in a circular motion while shrieking the loudest primate noise you can muster.
-With the free hand you can either grab your genitals or for added effect swing the aforementioned shaker in a masturbatory motion and spray faux ejaculate all over your new friends scattering beneath you.
-Hop down, regain your composure and proceed with squats, deads or some other 'real' excercise.
ENJOY
On leg day when you want to use the squat racks for say, I don't know, squatting maybe; follow the instructions.
-Chalk your dominant hand(the right hand for me) Optional: Hold an open shaker cup half full of yesterday's preworkout shake in the other hand.
-Standing about 8 feet from the power cage, take a swift crow hop and leap over the Richard Simmons tribute gang.
-While in midair, grab one of the pull-up handles on the power cage with your pre-chalked dominant hand.
-Once your grasp is set, allow your forward momentum to carry your swinging body in a circular motion while shrieking the loudest primate noise you can muster.
-With the free hand you can either grab your genitals or for added effect swing the aforementioned shaker in a masturbatory motion and spray faux ejaculate all over your new friends scattering beneath you.
-Hop down, regain your composure and proceed with squats, deads or some other 'real' excercise.
ENJOY