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Question for the men

IronCore

IronCore

Bigger Than MAYO - VIP
Sep 9, 2010
4,321
1,538
Your reading comprehension needs work. I said, youre a douchebag, like the guys she finds herself drawn to. Good job dummy.
well douchbag or not... I get more ass than you... so NAH NANNY BOO BOO!!!!
 
cynderella

cynderella

TID Lady Member
Feb 4, 2015
146
49
I am a pretty confident man, but my wife intimidated me. She is a physician, I was a medic. It was more common for the nurses to date docs, but docs just don't date below that, usually. One day, while I was chatting with her, she finally said, well, since you won't make the first move, I will, and she gave me her number. It was pretty out of character for her too, but she worked up the nerve to do it.

This isn't just about dating though, this is also about building the confidence to do things that can really change your life in good ways. Sometimes you have to take those risks, step outside your comfort zone, or you might not ever truly experience life!

Anyway, some guys are intimidated by a woman that works out. Fug'em. There are plenty that love that about a woman!

On a final note, I would spend some time getting your metablism back on track. You experienced what we call metabolic damage, in which the metabolism crashes and then the body goes in to a starvation mode that turns to muscle for energy. It can take many months of "reverse dieting" to get back to normal

I completely agree the confidence needs work and a boost. Oddly enough when it comes to everything but relationships I'm very confident, I know my value but when it comes to my self esteem and what I bring to a relationship I'm completely lost. Hence why I struggle with confidence. I don't know many people who do have it but yet not and I don't know how to adjust it to where I feel like I have it in all aspects of my life.

The metabolism does need work I've been trying to get back to my diet that worked and helped me drop weight while getting my gains but I got off track about a year ago and went back to the 1 meal a day when I have time to eat diet which is causing me to stay at the 175 lb. marker. Though I eat a clean 1 meal it's not enough to burn anything more then where I'm at. My diet is shit right now honestly and I know that 90% the battle.
 
shortz

shortz

Beard of Knowledge VIP
May 6, 2013
3,107
897
The idea of eating "clean" is your problem. Clean isn't enough. It's all about calories and macros. Stop believing this industry myth that eating clean will make you lose weight and you will be more successful in losing fat
 
Rottenrogue

Rottenrogue

Strongwoman
Jan 26, 2011
6,595
1,882
As far as the t3 .I wouldn't suggest it .Especially if your metabolism has just gone through a crash. I have heard that it can be harder on women and some actually end up on thyroid meds permanently.
Correct me if Im wrong on this folks.
 
S

schultz1

Bangs Raiden's mom VIP
Jan 3, 2011
3,701
1,060
The idea of eating "clean" is your problem. Clean isn't enough. It's all about calories and macros. Stop believing this industry myth that eating clean will make you lose weight and you will be more successful in losing fat

Agreed. Also, i dont eat enough especially for my size. I know when i get my food intake acceptable i actually drop lbs. Granted i. Cant shove burgers in my face every meal. I normally eat lunch and dinner only. Ive been working on that this year. So, keep grinding.
 
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tommyguns2

tommyguns2

Senior Moderators
Staff Member
Dec 25, 2010
6,311
4,997
Lots of good inputs here!

Confidence is a funny thing. I can't describe it, but I know it when I see it, and it looks different in different people. Just be yourself and be comfortable in your own skin, and that confidence will shine right through!

Having said that, you can be confident in yourself, love yourself, and not care what others think, and still want to make improvements based on what YOU want for YOURSELF. For example, about 25 years ago, I was married with two young kids, working full time and going to law school full time. I slept about 3 hours per day and picked up some bad lifestyle habits. After law school, I was 5'10" and 235 pounds and carrying about the same amount of lean mass as in high school, where I was only 190. so I had put on almost 50 pounds of fat. Over the next 6-10 years after law school I made lifestyle changes (always helps when your doctor looks at you and says you're going to be dead by 40...) and lost about 50 pounds of fat while putting on about 50 pounds of muscle.

Was that the right thing to do? Yes, it was for ME. My doctor thinks I should have lost 50 pounds of fat and that it, LOL. But I chose to make improvements as I defined that and I'm happy (most days, LOL) with those choices I made. The point of my blabbering is that if you want to lose another 30 pound or so because that's what you want for yourself, then go for it. But don't do that for someone else. If you like the way you look and feel at 170, good for you. Stay put and own it!

If you want to lose bodyfat while holding on to your lean mass, it's doable, but it's typically a slow process (in order to keep the lean mass) and it requires discipline on the diet. I would recommend trimming calories only slightly as you don't want to feel like you're hungry all the time. That's a recipe for failure long term. I recommend a ratio of protein/fat/carbs at about 40/30/30. Having a decent amount of your calories as fat will help you feel more satisfied and less hungry.

Also, to keep the metabolism chugging along, I would recommend you split up all your daily calories into 6 meals instead of 3. Each meal is smaller, but your blood sugar peaks/valleys will be less severe, which prevents the metabolism from slowing. Plus, knowing that you've got another meal to eat at dinner time always helps me to push myself away from the table before feeling "full." I know in another 3 hours I'm going to eat something, so emotionally I'm able to stop.

I don't always eat like this, but if I'm trying to loss fat and keep the muscle, I tend to be more strict like this.

Also, consider implementing some intervals in your cardio. I like HIIT type stuff, but any type of intervals can work.
 
monsoon

monsoon

Senior Bacon VIP
Nov 1, 2010
5,007
1,670
Nice long thread like this has a way of getting to the facts eventually. Rottenrogue, TenaciousA. How much of your confidence comes from being bad ass weight lifters? Where were you when you were just starting out like this young lady? Hopefully she will absorb the benefits of your experience and knowledge.
cynderella, exercise diet educate or whatever you do for yourself, not for a boyfriend to be named later.
 
TenaciousA

TenaciousA

TID Lady Member
Mar 31, 2013
1,240
432
Nice long thread like this has a way of getting to the facts eventually. Rottenrogue, TenaciousA. How much of your confidence comes from being bad ass weight lifters? Where were you when you were just starting out like this young lady? Hopefully she will absorb the benefits of your experience and knowledge.
cynderella, exercise diet educate or whatever you do for yourself, not for a boyfriend to be named later.
Thanks for the props to RR and I....

I think self confidence only really comes to fruition as one ages-you tend to be able to know not only from your self, but also everyone else in your life. You learn to see things you would have ignored and not tolerate things that you shouldn't have to.

I am confident---and let's understand this waxes and wanes for noy only myself but everyone here---because I choose to be.

I take time to make decisions, personally and professionally, and put me into the equation a lot as long as I am not harming others. I compromise, try to be patient and sympathetic, and really try not to believe anything that I do not know is true.

Someone doesn't like me (for no good reason)? **** em.

Move past the big drama show, do you as best and as honestly as you can. At the end of the day this is all you have.
 
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