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How do you talk to your man about bodybuilding?

Seira_1337

Seira_1337

TID Lady Member
Jul 15, 2014
35
5
My husband is supportive in my weight loss efforts, but seems to be turned off by my desire to get built. I personally don't think scrawny is attractive and I naturally have a more athletic build prone to bulking. (Even at my all time lowest pole dance competition weight of 130 lbs, I didnt look "skinny") No amount of starvation diet and exercise has ever yielded a "fashion model" body for me. I am also pretty sure he would be freaked out by me using peptides or other injectables. This is a journey I want to ultimately do for myself, but I also feel having a partners support and transparency/communication/honesty is important.

Where do you draw the line with following your dreams versus compromising with the person you care about? How do you convince someone that strong is sexy in a world obsessed with scrawny? Or do you just say F* it, this is who I am?
 
British Animal

British Animal

Member
Jul 15, 2014
67
7
You are the only one who can control your destiny, it's your life, as long as it is not disruptive to your marriage, then go ahead, maybe its jealousy, the thought of you in the gym and looking good, maybe it's to much for him to deal with, I have had a few friends that have always said I wish I did this or did that, and have regretted no chasing their goals, so if you want to do it then do it, otherwise you have to deal with the regret, and that's even worse, don't let others control your dreams or choose your path for you, good luck and look forward to seeing your progress
 
1bigun11

1bigun11

MuscleHead
Oct 23, 2010
2,142
1,832
My husband is supportive in my weight loss efforts, but seems to be turned off by my desire to get built. I personally don't think scrawny is attractive and I naturally have a more athletic build prone to bulking. (Even at my all time lowest pole dance competition weight of 130 lbs, I didnt look "skinny") No amount of starvation diet and exercise has ever yielded a "fashion model" body for me. I am also pretty sure he would be freaked out by me using peptides or other injectables. This is a journey I want to ultimately do for myself, but I also feel having a partners support and transparency/communication/honesty is important.

Where do you draw the line with following your dreams versus compromising with the person you care about? How do you convince someone that strong is sexy in a world obsessed with scrawny? Or do you just say F* it, this is who I am?

Your experience is mirrored by male bodybuilders as well. I don't think there is a perfect solution for it, and if there is one I certainly do not know what it is. I do know that you are not alone. I also think that women have it even harder than men in this area because many male bodybuilders are not very supportive to their female counterparts. I personally like it. But then again I am very secure.

Good of luck with whatever you decide.
 
Bullmuscle7

Bullmuscle7

MuscleHead
Jun 11, 2014
8,847
2,439
This is a hard one and because I am the way I am (lol) I just do what I'm going to do and whoever I am with has to be ok with it. YOU have to be YOU! :)

This is great advice and so are the others. If you are fully committed to embarking on this lifestyle then that's great. Its in your soul so to speak and if you are like me you will not be swayed. I think some honesty with your spouse/partner is important because sneaking is no fun and takes to much energy and they eventually find out anyway and then are pissed because this is a big thing and you didn't tell them. Im not saying you need to tell everything but a simple; Im going to do this and I want you to know Ive studied it and I want it. My woman knows most of it and is largely supportive but also sometimes complains about it and is sometimes not supportive. But those occasions are few and always because she worries about me.
Making positive changes in your self and using some help to do it is great. See if you can get him onboard.
 
GiantSlayer

GiantSlayer

VIP Member
Jan 27, 2013
2,402
723
1) take him to a bodybuilding show.
2) remind him what squats will do for your ass.
3) explain to him that the hormonal changes that come with weight lifting will make you want to have sex more often.
 
kbordner

kbordner

VIP Pops
Dec 18, 2012
623
172
Your husband must be involved and part of your BB world. The more in shape you get the less tolerant you will be if he is out of shape. The fitter and more muscular he is the more he will appreciate your efforts. There is a point for most men though where too much muscle could be considered unattractive or not sexually arousing. I for one don't have the problem. But a lot of men do. If you decide to join the dark side do your research and stay away from the Test/Tren/D-bol and stick with the Var/Primo and maybe EQ.
 
Seira_1337

Seira_1337

TID Lady Member
Jul 15, 2014
35
5
Thanks all. Excellent advice. I really appreciate your insight.
 
BrotherIron

BrotherIron

VIP Member
Mar 6, 2011
10,717
2,808
When I decided to have this talk with my man I sat him..... just kidding I aint KBD, lol.

Seriously though, I went through many relationships... I'm talking about dozens before I found someone who would support me in whatever endeavors I decided to pursue. SS (my wife) know exactly what I do, if I take anything... what it is, and is 100% supportive. I could give up PLing and be a runner and she'd support me. She'd hate it but she'd support me and it's vice versa.

If your husband can't support you in this journey you're about to embark.... I know some will not like my answer but F UCK him. You only have 1 go round and you better make it count meaning do everything you want that'll make YOU happy.

I'm going to take a stab in the dark and venture in saying that your husband isn't into lifting whatsoever b/c if he was he'd realize that strong is EXTREMELY SEXY.
 
tommyguns2

tommyguns2

Senior Moderators
Staff Member
Dec 25, 2010
6,313
5,000
I think many men who are not involved in the lifestyle have a lot of inaccurate preconceived notions. He may be one of those guys who think that in six weeks you're going to be all "big" in the negative sense of the word.

I'd encourage him to simply sit back and watch you over the next six months. He'll likely see all his preconceived notions be proven wrong, and will probably be happy at the changes you make.
 
HisAngriness

HisAngriness

Fancypants VIP
Mar 23, 2011
2,193
604
This is a hard one and because I am the way I am (lol) I just do what I'm going to do and whoever I am with has to be ok with it. YOU have to be YOU! :)

1) take him to a bodybuilding show.
2) remind him what squats will do for your ass.
3) explain to him that the hormonal changes that come with weight lifting will make you want to have sex more often.
i was gonna reply but these two summed up everything i was gonna say
 
Blacken

Blacken

Senior Member
Sep 6, 2013
212
40
Few things

- He might be insecure some men and women hate the opposite sex in a power position. Strength, fiances, etc. More so men in particular like to feel in control of everything which is stupid and I never understood.

- Secondly he might have a fear that you will look like a super roided bodybuilder like Isis Kyle. Nothing wrong with that if you want to go that route but in my experience a typical person that doesn't understand shit about weight lifting thinks this magically happens over night.

I suggest you show him what you want to look like so his mind can be put at ease rather then his imagination going wild, then seek his support. If he doesn't give it well **** him do your thing life is to short to be held back.
 
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